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Scared Im going to push him away.

(6 Posts)
twinkle1010 Sun 07-Oct-12 18:12:20

Two years ago my husband had an affair and left me and our DD. We had been together since our early teens and I was devastated. Eighteen months later I've met a lovely man. He's kind, sweet and funny, we've been together six months and he makes me so happy.

But instead of feeling happy and trusting him (as hes given me absolutely no reason not to.) I feel like Im being an awful needy girlfriend. Its awful, I dont even recognise myself sometimes. For example, today he wanted to watch football, chill out and do his own thing so why am I feeling completely rejected as obviously its completely reasonable for him not to want to spend every minute with me. We were together friday night and all day saturday.

Ive never felt like this before and I really need to calm down, relax and trust him. Just have no idea how to sad

SoleSource Sun 07-Oct-12 18:24:45

Because you do not feel OK about ypu and have not cone to terms with past experiences unless he is planting seeds of doubt.

Therapy might be for hou and time as lobe?

twinkle1010 Sun 07-Oct-12 19:07:17

No he isnt planting any doubt, he hasnt done anything wrong at all. I think I would be like this with anyone. Just wish I wasnt like this with him and if the situation was reversed I would be really annoyed.

twinkle1010 Mon 08-Oct-12 20:23:38

Anyone sad

SoleSource Mon 08-Oct-12 23:06:07

Well feeling OK about YOU is important. Try therapy. Maybe he will understand or ypu might need to be single.

Lovingfreedom Mon 08-Oct-12 23:21:00

You could try to do more things with your friends or that make you happy rather than revolve so much around him maybe? I try to stick to a little rule of spending at least as much time with friends as with 'the man' and spend some time on things I like to do on my own. It works well cos it makes you less 'needy' and you've got more on, more to talk about etc and he possibly even values your time more when he gets to share some of it.

You are bound to be wary about being cheated on again if you had that experience with your ex-H. Try not to pre-empt the worst though...worrying won't make it any less likely to happen and will only make you stressed and unhappy. Not sure if that helps - distraction or something might.

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