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Would you think you had been dumped

(33 Posts)
Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 16:53:57

if your partner ignored 6 messages from you and then deleted you from the IM system you both use so you can't communicate?


mirry2 Sun 07-Oct-12 16:54:46


getrealandgetalife Sun 07-Oct-12 16:56:18


CookieRookie Sun 07-Oct-12 16:56:38


Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 16:57:51

Thanks thats what I thought too.

He says I am over reacting and he was just annoyed.

OrangeImperialGoldBlether Sun 07-Oct-12 16:59:52

How long have you been together? Was it an online relationship? Why was he annoyed?

Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 17:01:14

5 months, no not an online thing, I had to work at the weekend unexpectedly
which messed up our plans

0liverb0liverbuttface Sun 07-Oct-12 17:08:14

he needs to grow up - what a passive aggressive thing to do.

Would I think I'd been dumped...? That depends on what the relationship is like generally. If my DH did it, no, I wouldn't - but I would be bloody annoyed at his childish unhelpful behaviour.

Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 17:10:11

Mmmmm we had an argument the week before and he dumped me only to backtrack when I said ok, so now I am a bit insecure and wondered if he was right and I was over reacting

0liverb0liverbuttface Sun 07-Oct-12 17:15:11

I think if he wants to trust you he needs to treat you with respect and care.

Blocking you on IM when you have to work unexpectedly, is unkind and disrespectful. I think he needs to rethink what caring for someone means.

Loving someone is the 'lover' indulging their own feelings - caring for somebody is the 'lover' demonstrating that love in a tangible way.

without care, 'love' is meaningless.

I don't think you over reacted.

0liverb0liverbuttface Sun 07-Oct-12 17:15:47

sorry - that should have said 'if he wants you to trust him'

brain going faster than fingers!

dequoisagitil Sun 07-Oct-12 17:24:50

I'd think I'd been dumped and on discovering that he didn't mean it/changed his mind, would think that he's a huffy unreasonable git and not worth bothering with. I've no patience with guys who play the 'if you don't do as I want, I'll dump you' game.

Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 17:29:27

Thats a bit what I am feeling, he also said he had cancelled our holiday, then when I was upset said no not really

I sort of see a pattern and I don't want him to do this again, he has just started it, when I think we are over he backtracks and says no don't be silly

OrangeImperialGoldBlether Sun 07-Oct-12 17:33:12

I think he sounds horrible. He also sounds as though he thinks it's up to him whether you two stay together.

Get him to a point where he thinks you're together and then dump him. Tell him you don't appreciate his attempts at mind-fucking. Oh and that you think he's a twat.

Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 17:36:57

Lol thats funny, I am supposed to phone tonight but I can't be like everything is now fine because I have been down thinking about it all weekend.

PissesGlitter Sun 07-Oct-12 17:42:08

If it was me i would not waste any more time on him
Sounds like a twat

redadmiralsinthegarden Sun 07-Oct-12 17:47:23

sounds like he's playing games, blanche. leave him and find a grown-up!

Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 17:48:56

If I phone tonight I am condoning his behaviour? he said typical women you are over analysing

redadmiralsinthegarden Sun 07-Oct-12 17:53:51

so he's being silly - telling you he's cancelled your holiday for example, and then blaming you (and womankind) for reacting??
I wouldn't ring, to be honest. or ring and dump HIM. it doesn't sound like the start of a fulfilling relationship, love.

izzyizin Sun 07-Oct-12 18:05:13

Unless you phone and tell him he's history tonight, you will be condoning his behaviour.

This controlling twat man is showing you what he's like. Once he's got full control over you, your life won't be your own.

Holiday with him? You'd have a better time as a guest of Her Maj.

Run for the hills and don't look back.

Blanchedev Sun 07-Oct-12 18:27:53

Thanks all, wise advice, will sleep on it

MushroomSoup Sun 07-Oct-12 18:57:39

Can't believe you need to sleep on it tbh.
You'd sleep a lot fucking better without him in your life.
Life is far far too short to have to second guess someone who is supposed to love you.

hoopieghirl Sun 07-Oct-12 19:29:44

I agree with all the wise women of MINUTE he sounds very immature, and likes to play mind games. Not worth a minute more of your time. You deserve better x

hoopieghirl Sun 07-Oct-12 19:30:28

Of Mumsnet stupid fone sad

izzyizin Sun 07-Oct-12 19:44:55

You've known him 5 months and thank fuck you don't live together? Hardly your 'partner', is he?

As for 'sleeping on it', it's rare there are no dissenting voices on the various threads that are posted on this board. If you choose to heed the unaminous advice that has been given to you to ditch the twat, on your head be it... and your head will not sleep easy on its pillow as he has every intention of keeping you off-balance so that he can control your responses to him and, eventually, order your every movement.

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