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He's just been to a nude lap dancing bar :(

(366 Posts)
RunnyBum Sat 06-Oct-12 00:56:34

H just back from nude lap dancing bar, he has been on stag dos before and he knows I hate it. I'm gutted, he says I should forget this one "mistake" as he (allegedly) didn't has a private dance as he knows I would hate that. He claims he was just curious (inspite having been before and knowing all about it!!) Being in front of a naked woman that isnt me, for kicks just feels like cheating on some level. Oh and he wasn't on a stag tonight just out with a friend.

Found out as I Where's My Iphone'd him as he was meant to just be in our town, and I thought he'd be heading home.

We're meant to be going away on a romantic break in a few weeks, but a the minute I don't want him near me sad

How would u deal with this?

fiventhree Thu 25-Oct-12 19:10:05

OP, about this:

"He has turned off his find my iPhone app, which I don't care about as it was horrible to find out that way."

I dont check up on my h after his infidelity either. And neither of us use the app you mention.

But I would be a bit unhappy if my h turned it off straight after I had complained about his behaviour, because it suggests that he doesnt want to take the chance of being found.

In fact, it was what my h did when he used to 'accidentally' change his password/his web home screen or whatever, after I had found some more dodgy evidence.

He does sound secretive, and that isnt good in itself.

Doha Thu 25-Oct-12 19:23:11

I wonder why he turned his find my I phone app off, Probably because he doesn't want you to find out just what he is spending family money on. lapdancers and gambling--what a loving family man NOT

You had better look out for yourself ad your DC's OP....

olgaga Thu 25-Oct-12 20:35:47

Yes that's an interesting point, re the spending of family resources on strippers.

RunnyBum please come back to explore your options. You do have options, you know. Hopefully your next thread won't be derailed by men wanting to pursue an agenda.

I and others would sincerely like to help you.

Offred Thu 25-Oct-12 21:12:35

Meh, not sure that's very fair olgaga, there have been more female than male apologists on this thread. I know it is larry you are meaning, he's bad because of his fundamental beliefs not because he is a man.

Offred Thu 25-Oct-12 21:13:31

And I've been arguing just as much as him so derailing of the thread shouldn't only be blamed on him.

Offred Thu 25-Oct-12 21:14:17

Larry - should be means something different from are.

olgaga Thu 25-Oct-12 22:44:42

Well I was arguing too, until I got reported grin but the thread definitely got derailed on Tuesday morning when some people decided some other people needed to be corrected. Hey - I was there!

larrygrylls Fri 26-Oct-12 09:01:55

"derailing" is in the eye of the beholder, who in this case is the OP.

General discussion around the issue may actually be more useful to someone than immediate snap judgments and instructions as to how she should feel.

I have one rule I always stick to. If the OP asks me to leave or tells me my input is not useful, I refrain from posting any further. There are plenty here who continue on threads after having been asked to leave by the OP...

Offred Fri 26-Oct-12 09:38:03

Ironic larry, ironic...

kerrymumbles Fri 26-Oct-12 14:43:29

oi. i never said men "had to" to this reasonable behavior...etc. etc.

i just said he wouldn't tell her next time.

and he won't

kerrymumbles Fri 26-Oct-12 14:43:52


Offred Fri 26-Oct-12 16:22:39

Did you read the op Kerry? He didn't tell her this time or the other times he has probably been either. What is your point? That she shouldn't complain or he won't tell her? What's the point of that?

ledkr Fri 26-Oct-12 17:21:59

Have to just quickly say that I do find it odd that a bloke can sit and post on a predominantly female forum for days on end to try and tell women how they should be feeling about certain subjects. Shouldn't you be doing something a bit more manly like have a lap dance?

OneMoreChap Sat 27-Oct-12 19:13:18


Have to just quickly say that I do find it odd that a bloke can sit and post on a predominantly female forum for days on end to try and tell women how they should be feeling about certain subjects

Mumsnet = by parents for parents...

not female for women...

Though, actually, an awful lot of it does seem to be women telling other women how they should feel, or behave...

Offred Sat 27-Oct-12 19:19:08

Ha, have agreed with you so much on this thread OMC, what to do, what to do... grin

ledkr Sun 28-Oct-12 11:40:21

One more no offence intended and yes put in my place about the parenting point but its the length of time and effort that some guys spend on here trying to tell women how they should feel about the sex trade when opinions are bound to differ that amazes me. I can't imagine dh doing that or even wanting to that's all. smile

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