When I was ittle she was abusive,
I never realised it at the time but she was very abusive.
I opened up about it on mumsnet some years ago and it helped me see how awful it really was and of course having children of my own has cemented that.
To sum it up, to the outside world she was an amazing mum, she let us have friends over constantly, sleep overs, when we were yound we had money (not rich but comftable) and she would allow us to bring friends on days out places, we would have all the latest toys and gadgets... christmas day would be manic!! Piles and piles of presents for us all!
However behind closed doors it was a very different story.
She was agressive, very aggressive. And had a very short temper. She says now its because my dad never helped out, he was always working ect ...
I don't know if my Dad knew how she was with us, I doubt it.
Anyways she used to snap so easily, we were good kids, always being praised at school but simple things like bickering set her off,
was the eldest so i got it the most, but i know the next down got it too (by the time the 3rd and 4th grew up shed mostly grown out of it)
But she:
Slapped me
Screamed in my face whilst spitting out her words (i remember her smelly breath in my face)
Smacked me with a rubber soled slipper
throttled me
suffocated me (put her hands over my mouth and nose allowing me no air at all .... this occured when i was screaming because she was beating me and she wnted me to stop making the noise)
I'm 99% sure she bit me too.
So fast forwards to now,
she appears to everyone else to be the doting mum and nana.
Thing is she ISN'T violent or agressive much anymore.
she never laid a finger on my youngest sibling but it still gets to me.
Everything i SAY TO HER (THATS POSITIVE) she puts it down.
For instance if i say im doing 'xyz' and excited about it ... she'll say well i did 'xyzz' and it was awful/reallyhurt/wasn't worth it.
Just anything negativebut then says 'but it may be ok for you'
she has awful racist views
and we had a big argument yesterday about poor little April Jones as she said it was all her mums fault!
I said how about blaming the sick person who took her??
and she said that she was flashed at when young and it was her own fault for being there!?!
She does play a big part in our lives still and is helpful,
but she boasts to everyone how much she helps us out,
for example she will take me shopping but make me feel bad by looking at her watch the whole time saying she has to be elsewhere.
All she talks about is herself and her job... going on about all her collegues lives who I don't know and don't care about.
I don't know why I'm writing this down TBH, I suppose shes just been upsetting me lately and I needed to talk about it and the history we have.
Thanks for reading.
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I need to talk about my Mother.
31 replies
CarrotsForRebeccaRabbit · 05/10/2012 15:38
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