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Is this cheating?

(26 Posts)
unsureonline Wed 03-Oct-12 16:23:05

NC'ed and don't want to dripfeed but can't think what details to give at the moment so sorry if I do! Basically the situation is that I use a sex-based roleplaying site and have done for a few years on and off, since before I met my current DP. I've told him I've used the site, he's been on it too but hasn't actually used it but I haven't actually explicitly made it clear I'm still role-playing on it now and again, really because I'm embarrassed about most things I do online in case it looks weird or in case I have to hold back details I'd like to share anonymously (I don't talk about MN'ing to DP either).

This site involves writing fictional scenarios, not about yourself but about fictional characters, like writing part of a book and then the other person writing the next part etc, only a lot of it involves sex. I don't count this as cheating/an emotional affair as it's not about me or trying to get someone to flirt with me, it's just writing fiction. However, a close friend found out I use it and is convinced it's a form of cheating and I'm lying to DP and being unfaithful to him as it's still another man at the other end writing erotic scenarios 'to me'. Now I'm unsure, what do you think?

eslteacher Thu 04-Oct-12 11:16:53

I wouldn't class it as cheating, and I don't think its particularly weird or 'ew' either, compared to what some get turned on by.

Your DP knows that this interests you - if he has never asked you if you still do it, for all we know he assumed you continued or at least doesnt care much one way or the other?

l do think you should broach it with him though, because you do have another sexual 'life' albeit an unusual and IMO innocuous one outside your relationship. It doesnt seem right to keep that from him, even indirectly. Ypu have to take his feelings and reactions into account.

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