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New boyfriend's Ex wants to be friends with me on FB.

(52 Posts)
botandhothered Mon 01-Oct-12 16:23:42

Is this a bit odd?
They split last September, no kids, but still friends who occasionally meet up for coffee, and keep in touch through text and FB.
He ended the relationship.
I met her very briefly once on a night out, just introduced and that was it. We have been together since April, and things are going well. Now, I don't really understand why she wants to friend me, but won't I look like I have ishoos with her if I don't accept her request? Haven't mentioned it to BF yet, seeing him later.

whatkungfuthat Mon 01-Oct-12 16:27:45

She may just be one of those people with 800+ facebook friends but it seems odd to me. I wouldn't accept if I were you, she probably wants to keep tabs on you both.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 01-Oct-12 16:28:49

Oh dear no.

NervousAt20 Mon 01-Oct-12 16:28:56

I wouldn't accept either

Happylander Mon 01-Oct-12 16:29:16

Hmm not sure. She could be someone that just friend requests everyone she meets. She could like you and feel that as their is nothing between her and your boyfriend now but friendship then it wouldn't be a problem. My last boyfriends ex friend requested me after meeting once and I never even thought it a problem tbh. I am also friends with another ex's girlfriend on facebook. It depends on how and why their relationship ended really.

Sorry that's not much help.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 01-Oct-12 16:30:38

Today FB friend. Tomorrow..... rabbit simmering on the AGA ..... brr!!!!

botandhothered Mon 01-Oct-12 16:31:43

Thanks what! Glad it's not just me that thinks it's a bit odd. I am quite particular about who I friend, but ,yes, maybe she is one of those that has millions of friends. By the way, we are all in our late thirties, thought that may be relevent.

usualsuspect3 Mon 01-Oct-12 16:32:41


botandhothered Mon 01-Oct-12 16:33:08

Thanks cognito!!!

botandhothered Mon 01-Oct-12 16:34:30

Won't I look like the jealous new girlfriend if i don't though??

TheProvincialLady Mon 01-Oct-12 16:35:19

Block her and never think about her again. Who cares what she thinks? You aren't her friend, don't want to be her friend and don't have any kind of relationship with her. You don't owe her a facebook friendship. She is a stranger to you.

cookielove Mon 01-Oct-12 16:36:09

It's a definite NO from me!!

This happened to me in the reverse, i was the ex and she was his current girlfriend and my new stalker each of her million request were ignored or denied hmm

Some people are just odd though!!

botandhothered Mon 01-Oct-12 16:36:31

I should just ask him what he thinks, shouldn't I???

CuriousMama Mon 01-Oct-12 16:37:41

I'm friend's with an ex's exdw but we never mention him. She lives in TX as does he. The only time she mentioned him recently was to tell me he'd told her I could have his new phone number if want hmm Oh how we LOLed grin

But he's an ex, totally different. I wouldn't in this case. Bit odd tbh?

usualsuspect3 Mon 01-Oct-12 16:37:45

Just ignore her request and never mention it again.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 01-Oct-12 16:38:00

Of course not. I'm sure there are some happy clappy societies where ex partners all gather together for rum punch and share anecdotes with their predecessors and successors, but in the real world some things are best left private. 'Still friends' is so often code for 'I wish we were back together'.

botandhothered Mon 01-Oct-12 16:38:50

Provincial lady, you are soo right! I am not really likely to see her anytime soon, so I could just block, and forget about her!

CuriousMama Mon 01-Oct-12 16:38:50

I'd mention it casually. Like ' oh exgf has asked to add me on FB but I don't really add acquaintances I hope she won't be offended if I don't add her?' And see what he says?

lynniep Mon 01-Oct-12 16:41:15

wierd stalky nutter. no no no.

porcamiseria Mon 01-Oct-12 16:41:57

what ususal said! she wants to spy on u

botandhothered Mon 01-Oct-12 16:42:20

Thank you all so much for you advice. I think I will do that curiousmama, and then block!!!!

Daisym0use Mon 01-Oct-12 16:45:27

My exes new girlfriend sent me a friend request and the profile picture was one of her and my ex and they looked like they were naked! Really wierd, needless to say it was NO from me! I have no time for my ex or his GF as am I have no desire to have anything to do with them. However my DH's ex is a lovely girl and I would have no problem beimg friends with her on FB so I guess it just depends on the person. Go with you're gut feeling i'd say

LST Mon 01-Oct-12 16:46:08

I'm friends with one of my dp's exes. She's really nice.

LST Mon 01-Oct-12 16:46:19

In fact 2!

Emandlu Mon 01-Oct-12 16:46:24

I'd be tempted to accept her on a limited profile to see what she wanted and then block her later.

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