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Is it too soon for boyfriend to stay over at my house?

(11 Posts)
PooMouth Mon 01-Oct-12 11:55:29

My boyfriend has met my children on two occasions. One time we all went bowling together, the second time we went to the cinema and then spent a few hours in an arcade together. They get on great. My kids are 12 and 14.

Tonight he is coming over to our house for the first time. We're going to watch a couple of movies, get a takeaway and then he's going home.

Friday night, me and him are going out and coming home late - is it too early to consider him sleeping at my house? we have obviously slept together many times before but never at my house. The kids will be home but in bed by the time we get home. Too soon? I know my kids would be fine about it but I just wanted opinions on it really.

THERhubarb Mon 01-Oct-12 11:57:33

Ask your kids. They are 12 and 14, so rather than let us decide, just bring the subject up with them and ask. Make sure they know they can come to you and tell you anything, absolutely anything. You won't be mad if they don't like him, that you don't expect him to ever replace their dad and that they are still your number one concern and priority.

They will appreciate you taking the time to ask their opinions on this.

PooMouth Mon 01-Oct-12 12:00:17

Well I told them he was coming over tonight and they assumed he was staying the night and were fine with it. I've told them he isn't staying the night but the way they reacted when they thought he was told me they'd be fine with it.

BlueSuedeStiletto Mon 01-Oct-12 12:01:07

Sounds like natural progression to me. I don't like to put a time limit on things like this, I always think things should move at their own pace. And in this case it sounds like things are going well, nothing has been forced and you've obviously considered your options.

I'd maybe casually mention it to the DCs if they're going to see him in the morning, but at that age I guess they're likely to sleep a bit later and won't go wandering in to your room grin

How are his breakfast making skills? That's a sure fire way to earn some brownie points! Have a lovely weekend.

THERhubarb Mon 01-Oct-12 12:02:34

No harm in keeping them informed though smile

Just mention it again and if they are ok with it then you've nothing to worry about. Just so long as they know they can tell you if they are not happy with something.

It's the next step in your relationship and perhaps the kids also need to know what this means. I hope it all works out for you. smile

LesleyPumpshaft Mon 01-Oct-12 15:53:03

I saw DP once a fortnight before he even met my son. He didn't stay the night until a good couple of months after that. I do realise that my approach was very cautious though.

LesleyPumpshaft Mon 01-Oct-12 15:53:41

I meant to write once a fortnight for 6 months. Hit post too soon!

If DC know you are an item you can ask their opinions.

ClippedPhoenix Mon 01-Oct-12 15:57:56

How long have you been seeing him?

I don't know to be honest seeings as they have only seen him twice?

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I'd wait another month or so.

LesleyPumpshaft Mon 01-Oct-12 15:59:56

Could you wait a while until you see how he is with DC? Maybe have a few days out and Sunday dinners etc.

upanddown83 Mon 01-Oct-12 19:38:32

check with ur kids if they're ok with it then go for it because i remember when i was 16 coming downstairs to see my mums new boyfriend sat at kitchen table and it was not good as me and dsis didnt no he was staying and were completely shocked seeing him at kitchen table after meeting him twice.
We never really minded after that just a bit shocking seeing him at kicthen table with no warning!

HissyByName Mon 01-Oct-12 23:18:12

I asked my ds (7) if it'd be ok for my boyf to stay over sometime.

He told me it'd be ok, but that he'd prefer.to know in advance, not just find out he's there in the morning.

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