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SIL is a nasty bitch. Give me some clever words to say for next time she starts

(32 Posts)
adogcalledbetty Sun 30-Sep-12 19:42:45

SIL is now in her 60s. She's been around nearly all my life and we have generally tolerated each other. Contact is rare as she and my DB live a long way from me.

She really picks her moments - like when my DF was dying she launched into a hissy fit about how useless my DCs were as they should be mowing DFs lawn not playing on the computer! FFS

I don't want to make friends with her; my DB won't have a word said against her; I just want some clever retort. Any ideas?

mouldyironingboard Sun 07-Oct-12 19:09:00

just tell her 'If you haven't got anything nice to say, please stop talking'

or you could do the classic teenage response and turn your bottom towards her saying 'talk to the butt, cos the face ain't listening'

Idohaveoneofthese Sun 07-Oct-12 18:16:50

BOOP - that must have been sweet!

JollyToddler Sat 06-Oct-12 10:00:18

I would just ignore her completely. Pretend she hasn't said anything at all. If need be, turn your back too. Don't respond to anything unpleasant she says.

BitOutOfPractice Sat 06-Oct-12 09:55:54

When my exMiL phoned to berate me for leaving her son, I said: "one of the few good things to come out of this sorry mess, is that I no longer have to pretend to care what you think" and put the phone down.

ivykaty44 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:51:18

always yawn first to give you time to think first which phrase to use

Idohaveoneofthese Sat 06-Oct-12 09:28:13

The question is how to get these in my brain so that they come out effortlessly?

Cheekychops84 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:22:57

I hav one of this SIL I swear one day i will commit murder lol

ModreB Sat 06-Oct-12 09:21:54

You know, you are so far up your own arse you'll meet yourself coming down.

That works quite well. As well as 'Ha ha ha. Oh, you were being sarcastic, wern't you?'

Doilooklikeatourist Sat 06-Oct-12 09:16:05

If you can't say something nice to me , then it's best if you say nothing at all .

hopenglory Sat 06-Oct-12 09:14:13

I prefer a yawn and a "sorry, I stopped listening for a while then. We're you saying something interesting?"

ivykaty44 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:11:46

Oh you do come out with such rubbish - I don't know how you keep it to such a high standard of rubbish

adogcalledbetty Sat 06-Oct-12 09:09:59

Thanks so much for all your responses.

I shall almost look forward to seeing her next time grin, rather than my usual dread.

scarletforya Mon 01-Oct-12 10:43:16

I'm sorry but I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with the unarmed Brilliant, I'm nicking that!

A withering 'I don't give a shite what you think' and a steely stare also suffices.

ChrissasMissis Mon 01-Oct-12 10:37:06

"If I cared about your opinion, I would have been really offended."

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Sun 30-Sep-12 22:56:03

I have said before "I don't think you realise how rude you sound"

Even better: 'Did you mean that to sound so rude?'

Because it demands an answer. It's not my clever response, I must add, I read it on MN and thought it was genius. I will use it if I ever have the need... smile

HecateHarshPants Sun 30-Sep-12 21:41:43

It does work well. But it MUST be delivered in a calm, bland, disinterested voice to be most effective.

whatinthewhatnow Sun 30-Sep-12 21:39:57

hectate that second one is awesome. I'm going to use it as soon as I can.

BrevilleTron Sun 30-Sep-12 21:18:38

How is you've managed to live this long and not be demoted to a single-cell organism

I'd love to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up your ass

Gumby Sun 30-Sep-12 21:14:30

'aren't you worried you're turning into a cantankerous old woman?'

HecateHarshPants Sun 30-Sep-12 21:10:56

Oh, or you could go for <calm, neutral voice> "I don't care about anything you think about anything. Would you like a cup of tea?"

HecateHarshPants Sun 30-Sep-12 21:09:51

Let her rant on and then when she's finished, look at her innocently and say "sorry, did you say something?"

Her head will blow clean off her shoulders.

jkklpu Sun 30-Sep-12 21:08:09

"Are you this rude to everyone or do you make a special effort with me?" <said very loudly>

BrevilleTron Sun 30-Sep-12 21:06:35

Or " if I throw a stick will you leave?"

BrevilleTron Sun 30-Sep-12 21:06:08

Try " I'm sorry but I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with the unarmed"

MolotovBomb Sun 30-Sep-12 20:46:00

Challenge her. When she says something that makes you want to slap her silly say 'Excuuuuse me?' or 'What exactly do you mean?'

These sentences buy you some time. Valuable thinking time. Also, your SIL will need to think about how to reply. Which will make her squirm.

Bitch would'a got screamed at by me by now ...

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