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Ds has forgotten who his DF is....the relief is overwelming!

(6 Posts)
seaofyou Sat 29-Sep-12 19:41:53

My ds8 hasn't seen DF since 5 years old. When ds became more verbal at 6 years old he saw a man in swimming pool who must have triggered ds remembering DF and the physical abuse he had from DF age 3-5 years old when DF used to visit him from abroard at Grandparents house. Thankfully there was only a view visits. Police CPU involved about to start interviewing and ds disability SW said I was making it up re payback for no maintenance <sigh>

This I thought due to DS curse of fab memory due to his ASD he would never forget as even in June this year ds said 'When I am older I am going to kill my dad for being nasty to me'.

This evening ds asked for Apple MAC for Xmas..I explained I had no money and I finished by adding daddy does not have any money to help buy everything you want either and ds said 'Who is my daddy?'

smile smile smile

I replied saying Daddy lives abroad and has no money to come to see you (couldnt tell ds real reason ever!).

The relief is HUGE and the guilt I have because I missed the signs...well I did ask Paed why ds (non verbal at time) was headbutting on returning from every visit and I was reassured it was 'change' with ASD and I thought I was being paranoid so let it be, boy I was knocked sideways when ds eventually disclosed everything!

Ds has forgotton everything I think as didn't even know who DF is! This a huge sign ds is now secure and settled as contact will never happen again. Feels like a bad chapter can now be shut tight as my baby is happy and not sad over DF actions in past <sob>

scarletforya Sat 29-Sep-12 21:20:55

I'm so glad OP. Wwll done you for getting him through it, you're great. Please don't cry brew

HissyByName Sat 29-Sep-12 21:24:49

Well done the pair of you!

See that?

Its light at the end of the tunnel!

seaofyou Sat 29-Sep-12 22:01:56

Thank you scarlett and HerHissy (did I say you are always right ? wink) the crying was sheer relief as the guilt eats away inside like a nasty cancer and yep things feel lighter already as my baby isnt sad by memories anymore! It took time and a good length of time of calmness as attacks on our home did not help triggering reminders for ds but 18 months since they stopped with help of CCTV has given ds time to forget/heal. I aint going to stay guilty and I am gonna help shut that door and bolt it for good!

This is now going to help me heal myself now as my baby is better and I can move forward too if my strong lil man can too smile

ArtVandelay Sat 29-Sep-12 22:11:20

Hi Sea, I so hope this is the start of moving forward. You've had a horrible time.

seaofyou Sat 29-Sep-12 23:39:59

Art me too! I am staying postive and thanks for you support in past too amongst many many here smile

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