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Sofas and Slankets V Irregular choice shoes and Snogging - Dating Thread 23

(1000 Posts)
watchoutforthatsnail Fri 28-Sep-12 10:14:21


fayster Fri 28-Sep-12 20:49:01

Lovely to hear about all of these positive dates, Doing, Western and Worley.

Sponge, hope you're finished now and it turned up. TFIF.

OhWesternWind Fri 28-Sep-12 21:06:45

Doing what an excellent first date! So pleased it went well for you. What's he like? Tell us more ..

Sponge fingers crossed things have picked up for you and a good weekend is ahead.

Moving - you out tonight??

shuckleberryfinn Fri 28-Sep-12 21:29:41

snape The notebook could never get boring.

I've lurked through probably 23 a couple of threads. You guys talk fast! Now please can I join in?

I'm 33, separated. Have my own FWB (friend for 3 years, benefits for about 2 months), 2 kids DS is nearly 8 and DD is 18months.
I've profiles on: okcupid to meet ladies, one date so far. It was fun but she messaged me to say she was still in love with her ex.
POF (looking for men) for the sheer amusement value but I have had some interesting chats so far. just because some of my friends recommended it.

Hee! I feel all giddy now joining in with the serious daters. grin

AndLibbyMakesThree Fri 28-Sep-12 21:45:58

I'm still lurking and reading every post, but very much on the sofa at the moment. (Or at least I would be if the company I'd ordered it from would actually deliver it ... but that's another story).

Mini-profile: 45, split up with ex over 2 years ago, one pre-school son. Have been on a few dates and have met men who I've liked and men who have liked me, but sadly they've never been one and the same! In recent months I've practically given up, for various reasons ... but will no doubt give it all another go at some point.

OhWesternWind Fri 28-Sep-12 21:58:53

Hi Shuckle sounds like you've been having some interesting times! Which sex is your fwb btw? (I know, I know, I'm such a nosy cow)! Not sure I'm a serious dater, more a dabbler, but I have had so much good advice and support off people on this thread, it's been brilliant.

Libby hope your sofa turns up soon!

Lovely man has just texted to say he's been thinking about me all day ... I am determined not to get my hopes up and carried away, but I've been thinking about him a bit too. Have only snogged him nothing else but I keep getting that stomach thing happening when I think about it and that's just kissing!! What's it going to be like if/when we ever get the chance to do anything else? It's bloody frustrating but it's certainly building up the anticipation ...

ChaoticismyLife Fri 28-Sep-12 22:04:49

Hi, shuckleberry and welcome smile

Libby nice to see you. I'm on the sofa too, atm it's one hell of a big sofa grin

sponge I hope you find what you're looking for.

snape hope everything works out.

Western glad everything is going well

Doing more good news on the dating front grin

watch bin him. a) he's immature b) you're really not being fair on him so for his sake as well as yours.

~~waves~~ to everyone else

shuckleberryfinn Fri 28-Sep-12 22:07:38

western FWB is a boy and a bit older than me and a good friend who's also frustrated with OD. FWIW I think snogging rocks, there should be more of it around.

FateLovesTheFearless Fri 28-Sep-12 22:13:38

Hey all, just marking my lurking spot. S and I split up for good last week but I am in ZERO rush to date or anything for a long long time. So I will just continue spying on you all instead. smile

Sponge, want to tell me about that virus? Can you get into your operating system? I have shifted varying worms, Trojans etc so might be able to help

NewJamJarsandStickyCakes Fri 28-Sep-12 22:39:16

Western and DoingIt really glad to hear your dates went well, need to hear some positive dating stories to stop me completely giving up.

I am wavering over completing a profile on match; just can't seem to find the words to begin. Think I will just leave it for a bit, the whole experience with my Work Contact has left me even more cynical than i was before. He has sent a few work related emails to me since, with the odd comment about the weather and other random stuff , have replied politely, then I had to send one out today about a change of venue for a meeting next week, and he sent a separate more jokey / chatty/ flirty reply, just to me...which I ignored and just copied him into the group email reply again. Think he might be all about the chase, and I'm just not up for playing games. hmm

Yogagirlscaredofpeas Sat 29-Sep-12 07:52:30

Yay Western & DoingIt. smile

Sponge - did you find your lost thing? DS just found my lost bracelet. smilesmile

Hi Shuckleberry, Libby, Fate.

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 29-Sep-12 08:07:14

Fate, you doing ok?

Sponge, sorry you had a shit day.

Yoga, did you hear re the job?

I know I need to dump him. Last night we chatted and he said ( not for the first time) that he isht a grown up, I did ask at what age ( considering hes not far from 30) he would be, he said he Didnt know. Urgh. I told him the other week I felt we were very different people and wasnt sure we were compatible......
But now It's my birthday, so I can't dump him, Because that's nasty when he's made an effort. Then hes on an important course in 10 days, so I'll do it when he comes back from that.
I just know he is going to be devestated.
That makes me feel awful.

Worley Sat 29-Sep-12 08:51:59

well I obviously spoke to soon.. woke up to a text message from him saying "after much consideration I'm only really going to be able to offer you friendship at the moment. I can see your a person I could very much enjoy spending time with but I thought I was ready to commit again but clearly I'm not. Thought it's best mention now before things started get serious. I'm happy to stay friends if you are ? X "
he can go jump with the friends bit. I am not dating any more men who were dumped by their wives... am so fed up with this malarkey.. why do they do all the chasing, reel you in and do this.. sad

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 29-Sep-12 09:06:20

sad sorry Worley.

Yogagirlscaredofpeas Sat 29-Sep-12 09:08:18

Oh Worley, that sucks. There's something to be said for honesty as opposed to the wankers who just want to screw you then disappear but it still sucks and doesn't leave you feeling any better. Hugs xxx

FateLovesTheFearless Sat 29-Sep-12 09:22:53

Watch - yes I am doing alright. I know I made the right decision smile

I know what it's like to struggle to find the right moment watch, when the course is done just get it over with, there is no way you won't hurt him and no way you won't feel some amount of guilt, it's hard hurting other people. Just make sure when you do finish with him, you don't backslide.

DoingItForMyself Sat 29-Sep-12 09:46:08

Sent my lovely date a message this morning to say I was snuggled into his pillow as it smelled sexy. He replied that he liked to hear that and he misses me!

Its so funny - how can you be so into someone you've only met once (albeit for quite a few hours, many of which were semi-naked!)

Trying to stop myself getting carried away with this one, but its so hard. He has offered to take me out on Monday (if he can get some money after having his wallet stolen - otherwise he will be making me beans on toast apparently!)

Such a lovely sweet man, totally sexy and keen to please!

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 29-Sep-12 10:22:15

Just keep your guard up doing. Not to rain on your parade, but he is still someone you have only met once, and one date does not a relationship make.

Fate, glad you are ok, still hard though, isnt it. I feel terrible, Because I know he's going to be really hurt. He's besotted. I also know he will try and change. I explained to him the other week that people shouldnt have to change, people should accept each other for who they are. And that it wasn't him, or me, but that maybe we just don't work as a couple. Im not deluding him so much to be telling him I feel the same way he does. But It's still going to be awful.

snapespeare Sat 29-Sep-12 10:23:09

Stayed up with PM until half past four. I am dying. <wails. But not too loudly>

Went on nice birthday drinks, but felt a bit sad, it was where I grew up, went past the place I last saw my mum that's wasn't a hospice sad was on train back home by 10... So texted PM for last orders in our local.. Had plenty-beers, then he invited himself back to mine for coffee, which isn't a euphemism, please contain yourselves. smile. Got in to find DD had friends over, so we drank all their jäger bombs and sat up talking about nothing until half four. I can't feel my eyes.

I'd dressed up for birthday drinks, all cleavage & the first thing he said when he saw me was 'you've got lipstick on your chin' he doesn't even think I'm female FFS!

<waves at thread, waves at shuckleberry hello! Hugs worley goes back to bed. >

watchoutforthatsnail Sat 29-Sep-12 10:27:04

Ha snape. Bed and bacon!!!! Bless pm. How was the green dress?

Ive got that date with beard in a few hours.....

snapespeare Sat 29-Sep-12 11:54:54

Wasn't the green dress, which I am still saving for next week, was black catsuit with heels and a sheer, tight, booby black dress over it. All birthday drinks friends were 'wow! You look stunning PM was, 'lipstick on chin, snape'. hmm

FateLovesTheFearless Sat 29-Sep-12 13:53:23

Watch - yes it's terrible. You would have to be a really horrible person to not feel terrible for hurting someone but you also can't go through life trying when you know there is no point. Mrl will survive and move on. smile

mercury7 Sat 29-Sep-12 14:01:53

Just had my first Skype pre-date, it went very well, he was much better than his photo's and I'm pretty sure he's worth a real life meetingsmile

Think I'll be using it much more from now ongrin

snapespeare Sat 29-Sep-12 14:09:30

PM posted shirtless picture on my FB wall.


I can't actually stand up.

mercury. Good news! smile

Movingforward123 Sat 29-Sep-12 16:02:07

western - thank you for pouring Kevin he right direction grin

Well I has my date yesterday! I have now got a name for him, mr wealthy!! God this guy has got money! So as I said before we for on do well and kind of clicked in the phone! The night before the date we stayed on the phone till 3 am blush

I still like but not sure I I like him less now! I'm not sure if it's because he has a lot of money! He took me to a lovely cocktail bar which was up market and I'm not sure if I don't feel comfortable in those places confused then for food!

I then suggested we go to my area which is no posh atall and then felt worried he might not like it and look down on me confused

Anyway I think I preferred him in my area! And we slept together too! Not sure about if we click sexually! But it could be co it's new? When I met dds dad I was abit hmm about the sex but as I became more comfortable the sex became the best ever!

OhWesternWind Sat 29-Sep-12 16:17:42

A bit of money's always nice, so long as its not the be all and end all, and there are no hang ups/expectations on either side because of it.

He was probably out to impress last night with it being the first date , hence the fancy cocktail bar. Maybe you suggest the venue for next time? You both need to feel comfortable and relaxed on a date - maybe a quiet drink would be good?

About the sex, again I think the first time/few times people can be a bit keyed up and keen to impress, whereas you need confidence and trust to have real mind blowing sex, including an understanding if what does and doesn't work for you as a couple

So what I think I'm saying is, it's very early days, see how things develop but make sure they're going in a direction you're comfortable with. Sounds good so far, though!!

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