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When the way he eats starts to drive you crazy...

(103 Posts)
GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Fri 28-Sep-12 09:52:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 28-Sep-12 09:56:18

Oh yes. It means you've been with someone too much. Emotional cabin-fever. When my exH left me one of the many and imaginative reasons he cited was 'the way you brush your hair'. Not being the owner of some complicated Winehouse-type barnet, I've often wondered what that was about. hmm

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Fri 28-Sep-12 09:58:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PedanticPanda Fri 28-Sep-12 10:01:21

The way my DP eats drives me crazy. It is horrible! But I've always thought that, even before we were together and were just friends I'd be horrified at how he ate.

puds11 Fri 28-Sep-12 10:04:47

To be fair cogito the way you brush your hair is weird grin

The way most people eat makes me feel sick. I think it's the first time you walk in on them having a shit that really takes the magic out of it.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 28-Sep-12 10:04:54

No it's not teething problems. The annoying little habit that you put up with in the early days will be the reason given in court why you end up burying him under the patio ten years down the track. You will have annoying little habits as well, of course. If you've just moved in together I strongly recommend you have an honest airing of any and all problems & expectations on a regular basis... practical, financial, emotional, bad habits. Helps prevent the kind of seething resentment that will have you reaching for the kitchen knife

Toscano Fri 28-Sep-12 10:06:13

The way my dad eats makes me feel quite violent towards him. Doesn't mean I don't love him grin

paulapantsdown Fri 28-Sep-12 10:08:01

I lived with 'portion control man'. Every forkful had to have an equal bit of each part of the meal - a piece of chicken, a piece of carrot, a piece of potato etc. God forbid that he could just eat a bit of spud without all the other components of the meal with each mouthful. After 3 months it drove me mental. I used to fantasise about reaching over the table to stab him in the hand with my steak knife.

The relationship was doomed from that point and finished after a year.

I have a (male) friend who only eats one ingredient at a time, ie: he eats ALL the chicken before moving onto ALL the peas etc. The opposite of portion control man!

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Fri 28-Sep-12 10:09:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dinkystinky Fri 28-Sep-12 10:10:52

Put music on at meal times and dont look at him eating?

I dont mind the way DH eats (does annoy me though the way he finishes up super quickly then starts eyeing the food on my plate) - but if it was really annoying me I think I'd have to really ask myself why or if its a symptom of a bigger issue

SheelaNeGoldGig Fri 28-Sep-12 10:11:22

It only gets worse. His glowing good points have to be spectacularly good to outweigh the chomping, slurping, brutish, gutsing eating habits of a badly brought up, starving, caveman. 17 sodding years and counting

Dahlen Fri 28-Sep-12 10:14:13

TBH I think it's probably a very bad sign. Despite two failed relationships I can't say I ever had any feelings like those your describing, despite both relationships being ended at my instigation for what I felt were very valid reasons. If someone's presence is irritating you that much, I'd say there is a major resentment/incompatibility issue going on.

anice Fri 28-Sep-12 10:14:35

You could always tease him about it. That's the time-honoured way of dealing with this sort of thing. Or point out someone else doing it and tell him how you don't like it. Maybe he'll take the hint.

If he can't be persuaded to improve his manners then you've got to change your attitude about it or abandon ship.

adrastea Fri 28-Sep-12 10:18:23

In all my serious relationship break-ups, being very annoyed by the way they eat is a definite sign that relationship is going to end. When that moves on to being super annoyed by the way they breathe, which is the next step for me, I know the relationship has to end!

Chubfuddler Fri 28-Sep-12 10:20:08

When the way someone eats, breathes, walks etc starts to annoy you that's a v v v bad sign.

kettlecrisps Fri 28-Sep-12 10:21:25

Does he have a polite public way of eating that meant you weren't aware of his chomping abilities? I'd say if he always ate like this then it's not that high on your list of intolerances and you may be able to "de"focus on it and accept it's the way he is.

However, for me, I couldn't tolerate poor eating habits. I'm still filled with horror recalling "the pea incident" as it's known in our family. We were meeting my sister's new and short-lived boyfriend at a carvery. He was eating what seemed like a never ending supply of peas.

The image of him laughing and throwing his head back to reveal a mouth full of what looked like HUNDREDS of peas, his plate surrounded by peas on the table. It was as if I was opposite a 25 year old toddler.

chocoluvva Fri 28-Sep-12 10:23:28

Oh dear.
DH slurps (very annoying), and chomps (since he had a cold several years ago). I hate it.
Then he gets up from the table, taking only his plate and shouts through from the kitchen, "Tea?". This is never met with a reply as I don't like shouting from the table while I'm still having my dinner!
And his snoring is unbelievable.

FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra Fri 28-Sep-12 10:26:47

I think you have to kill him. If you LTB he'll only inflict the same on a poor unsuspecting woman in the future, and you don't want that on your conscience.

In all seriousness speak to him about it. Not in an argument, or in a confrontation, but find a way to bring it up. Maybe watch masterchef together and make a comment about how revolting Gregg Wallace is when he practically swallows his fork and then say, gently, that his manners have slipped a bit and would he concentrate a bit on them for a while. Give him the opportunity to do the same and make an agreement to not do whatever you do that drives him insane.

It worked for DH and I - I now tidy up behind me (I was terribly messy) and he no longer pronounces something/anything etc as if it ends with a K. Compromise, see?

Ilovedaintynuts Fri 28-Sep-12 10:27:14

Oh it's so hard isn't it?l

My DH makes a squeaking noise sucking through his teeth with every mouthful. You can hear it two rooms away. I know in an ideal world you are meant to turn the telly off when having a family meal but I just can't. I try. But I start hearing the squeaking and "isn't the news on about now?" rush for the remote control.

He also finishes his meal and then appears to belch and starts chewing again. He chews the cud like a cow.

If I think too hard about it I will have to end my marriage and he has his good points smile

meditrina Fri 28-Sep-12 10:27:26

If he's changed his eating habits and table manners since he moved in, then give him hell until he reverts to the standards he had during courtship.

If he was always like this, and you moved in with him anyhow, then it's part of the man you chose. You'll either have to learn to put up with it, or start very gentle and tactful persuasion. Or bury him under the patio, of course.

TheMightyLois Fri 28-Sep-12 10:29:43

I think I'm just spectacularly intolerant. The was my DS eats/drinks irritates the fuck out of me. The was DP breathes irritates me. Don't think it's necessarily the end. If you're not a mardy bint like me though, it's prob not a good sign.

lemonstartree Fri 28-Sep-12 10:35:11

For me it was one of many death knells. Meant I had lost all tolerance and respect for my now Ex H. We ate seperately for at least a year before we split. I could not stand his disgusting table manners and he didnt care enough to try and improve them.....

My now DP has lovely table (and other) manners...

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Fri 28-Sep-12 10:35:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Fri 28-Sep-12 10:38:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuntCadger Fri 28-Sep-12 10:38:42

I'm noise intolerant and can't stand the sound of people eating and dh heavy breathing irritates the fuck out of me. But it is me, not him. I get irritated by other people too.

I have felt rage at his snoring... blush but he has many amazing good points, and tbf his eating and breathing isn't the issue, it's my intolerance.

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