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OK, so this is a stealth boast about how gorgeous my DP is, but really...

(68 Posts)
IfImHonest Thu 27-Sep-12 17:17:51

Righty-ho. I've got my entire flame-proof outfit on, including the pants.

I've been seeing my DP for a year almost. He is utterly gorgeous. In fact, I can't believe that I pulled him still, but it appears I have. He is also a very nice man and we're loved up (told you this was a stealth boast post, actually where is the stealth?).

BUT I am being driven crazy by the attention he receives. When we first started going out I posted here asking how to deal with the fact that he's so lovely looking, as I'd never been out with someone good looking before and I got lots of good advice about just being myself etc. And I do that.

But I am being driven utterly mad. He's one of those tall dark handsome types. He is constantly being given phone numbers, his secretary declared love (before my time), whenever we're out he's accosted, that sort of thing. He's in a job where he meets lots of new people all the time. I don't mind if I'm not there of course and he rarely if ever tells me, but I know that it happens. But last night I realised I'd had my limit with it. We were going to a bar for a drink. We parked the car and he got out. His mobile rang so I stayed in the car while he answered it, putting on some lipgloss (OK that was unnecessary detail). By the time I'd come out of the car, two women were by him, one with her arm around him, and the other saying 'god, you're gorgeous, and you smell amazing' - and he was sort of flapping at her as he was on the phone. When they saw me they backed off.
then we went on to the bar and every time I went to the loo there would be some woman by him saying 'hey, can I sit here?' or 'are you on your own'?

Now I should say he never makes me feel jealous. he never encourages it, he seems to be firm and polite and tells them to go away politely, and as far as I know he's never been out with someone who 'picked him up' in this way. But frankly I am really tired of it. I got home last night and realised that I was miserable and that my night had sort of been ruined by it. I feel like a bloody WAG.

what on earth to do?

sarahseashell Thu 27-Sep-12 17:20:53

put a paper bag over his head when you go out grin

Flossiechops Thu 27-Sep-12 17:21:09

Tell him to stop wearing lynx that should help wink

IfImHonest Thu 27-Sep-12 17:25:26

(peeks out from under flameproof paper bag) ... so far, not too bad grin. I think I'll just dump him and start going out with someone pug ugly then.

GolfOscarLimaDelta Thu 27-Sep-12 17:25:40

Plan his wardrobe for him and include some really hideous mustard cords teamed with a maroon tank top or food stained shirt?

IfImHonest Thu 27-Sep-12 17:27:18

Golf - I bloody wish! He dresses in a way which really doesn't help - tight jeans, fabulous suits. You're right. Maybe I should start buying him tweed and telling him it's really fashionable.

Toscano Thu 27-Sep-12 17:37:10

Pic or he doesn't exist grin

TheHeirOfSlytherin Thu 27-Sep-12 17:40:11

Nothing wrong with a bit of tweed (is it wrong to fancy Giles from Buffy just a little bit?)

Not much you can do really except trust him not to act the advances.

AdoraBell Thu 27-Sep-12 17:53:44

Think yourself lucky you don't live in south America with a gorgeous boyfriend!

Other than that just ignore the women, especially as he isn't encouraging them, and concentrate on being with him.

blackcurrants Thu 27-Sep-12 18:12:06

Frankly the fact that he's politely but firmly turning them all down, and only has eyes for you ... should make you (or, would make me) even more smug about how this gorgeous, gorgeous man thinks that YOU are the only one to be with.

So, it may be irritating, but perhaps you can take it as a plus for your ego, too?

And, as TheHeir said, nowt wrong with a bit of tweed... (early seasons Giles, right?)

BertieBotts Thu 27-Sep-12 18:13:11

Propose to him right away and give him a very obvious wedding/engagement ring grin

AgathaFusty Thu 27-Sep-12 19:31:07

Seriously, everytime you go to the toilet, you come back to find women draped all over him???

You're going to the wrong type of bar, I think?

susiedaisy Thu 27-Sep-12 19:33:44

Make sure he eats garlic and raw onion everyday smile

BelieveInPink Thu 27-Sep-12 19:37:10

I want a pic to be honest.

panicnotanymore Thu 27-Sep-12 19:37:50

Bertie - you think a wedding ring will stop them?! It'll make them worse.... a sign he is both house trained and not gay grin

DameFanny Thu 27-Sep-12 19:47:38

I actually feel sorry for the poor guy, and think you'd be being horribly unfair to dump him.

He probably spent ages trying to find someone that saw him as a person and not just a hot body in tight jeans.

susiedaisy Thu 27-Sep-12 19:49:02

Good point Dame

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Thu 27-Sep-12 19:56:18

Though he's not doing anything wrong, you feel miserable.

If he's that much of a magnet, that won't change. If he's got dark hair, he'll only get even more attractive as he starts getting grey hairs (sucker for a silver fox here, obviously).

Your only option is to change the way you feel about it. You need to work on your own insecurity so you can let it go over your head. And while you do this, maybe try going to places where there aren't so predatory women.

I don't think you deserve a flaming for your OP. Personally I would rather be with someone who just I found madly attractive. I don't care what the world thinks, or want a trophy. It's much easier, as your experience shows.

Good luck smile

UterusUterusGhali Thu 27-Sep-12 19:56:32

Good for you!
Can we have a pic.

There was a poster a while back who would post about her oh so gorgeous dp all the bloody time. She became a bit unhinged about it iirc.
Don't let it get to you! You never know, he might be pig-dog ugly but you're so in lurve you can't see it.
*romantic sigh*

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Thu 27-Sep-12 19:57:01

*so many predatory women

EleanorHandbasket Thu 27-Sep-12 20:28:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aboutlastnight Thu 27-Sep-12 20:30:24

Start feeding him up. Now.

SummerRain Thu 27-Sep-12 20:36:44

No-one has ever come on to dp.... Not sure whether to be relieved or insulted now confusedgrin

I'd go with the smug approach if I were you. Feel pity for the sad desperate woman in bars.

modifiedmum Thu 27-Sep-12 20:44:29

I've been with one guy like that purely cos i used to go to a lot of "alt" bars and he was very tattooed, pierced etc but it didn't bother me, i just laughed and used to go up to him as soon as a girl approached and they'd soon piss off. smile

puds11 Thu 27-Sep-12 20:52:52

Yep i think we need a pic to verify just how gorgeous we are talking.

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