Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I think that dad's blog is cruel

(59 Posts)
CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:16:33

The one who said his firstborn is his favourite. sad

He needs a brain rinse. His second born will feel crap when he's old enough to find out. Even if the dad protests that he was stupid it won't turn the clock back.

We all worry after our first, that consecutive dcs won't be loved as much. But we do love them just as much, sometimes differently. We may not always like some of dcs behaviour but they're our dcs and we stick by them. Even if someone did favour one to blog about it is ridiculous.

I despair at society today. And the internet is blamed for a lot of silly adults sharing their pathetic thoughts. But is it? They choose to do this. I've been guilty of writing crap on here but I'd never say something so damaging about my own dcs. He could've come on mums/dadsnet or similar and done it secretly?

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:17:39

Here he is.

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:17:57

Here he is.

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:19:08

Sorry for linking twice, mn said there was an error with first one?

happybubblebrain Thu 27-Sep-12 09:21:23

I agree. It is abusive and disgusting.
I was the least favourite and it has ruined the way I think of myself.

Lifeispainless Thu 27-Sep-12 09:21:40

He is a knob.

“Ninety-five per cent of parents in the world have a favourite child – and the other 5 per cent are lying.”

I don't have a favourite.

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 27-Sep-12 09:23:56

What a knob end. That selfishness on his part will come back to bite him on the bum one day.

Wonder what his wife thinks of him now?

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:36:10

I'd leave the bastard!

Exdh quite obviously favours ds2. DS2 loves football, exdh does too. DS1 has more sense wink At least he's taking ds1 to a games expo in London for the weekend,for his birthday, but originally he was paying for ds1 to go alone behind my back!?

My mam had four of us and never appeared to prefer any? My late sister was always with mam but she was closer in age to mam, I was born late. Neither I or my brother and 2 sisters ever felt like we weren't liked. I actually think my dsis who's still here is much nicer than me though grin

crazyhead Thu 27-Sep-12 09:38:32

Maybe some people do have favourites - but most of them have the decency and loyalty not to tell ANYONE, let alone the whole world. That's the trouble with this type of blogger - a sad little wannabe novelist prepared to betray their family's privacy because they think they are creating some sort of 'literary' effort with their blog.

Triffiddealer Thu 27-Sep-12 09:42:16

I wonder if some people just don't have much love to give?

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 27-Sep-12 09:42:57

If life runs true to form he'll find the one he likes most won't give him the time of day because they think he's a knob, and the one he likes least will be responsible for picking his care home. smile

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:43:00

Exactly crazyhead. Well I hope he lives to regret it. It's actually annoying me a lot considering his ds is a stranger. Maybe it's touching a nerve re:exdh?

DragonMamma Thu 27-Sep-12 09:43:23

Personally speaking I love both my kids equally but there are phases where I get on with one better than the other, for whatever reason at that time - DC1 going through a cheeky, argumentative stage whilst DC2 being a model child etc.

I would never think to voice this though and can't begin to think how damaging it must be to view yourself as the least favourite. My parents were careful to not try and not show any preference between myself any my sibling even.though I'm sure there were points when.I drove them to despair and they probably not that keen on how I was behaving. I hope to emulate them, even.though it's hard when one is being a little shit difficult.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 27-Sep-12 09:45:21

But don't a lot of us secretly suspect that we aren't the wunderkind in our own families? Isn't it common to believe, rightly or wrongly, that other siblings are getting special treatment? Whether parents are candid or guarded about the truth, we're all very capable of making up our own version.

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:45:22

Triffiddealer even so why broadcast it?

CogitoES that's so true. Mil always has favourites. She has just 2 dss. Exdh and exbil twunt. Exbil was always favoured. He never bothers with her unless he wants cash. He's had many thousands off her. Exdh is always there, almost daily now she's very poorly and 89.

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:46:50

I actually see it as a failure to parent if you make a dc feel second best but that's my opinion. Some dcs are more challenging but that's life.

Triffiddealer Thu 27-Sep-12 09:51:44

Triffiddealer even so why broadcast it?

Because not only is his love limited, his emotional intelligence and empathy is in short supply too?

And why do people write these blogs anyway?

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:52:45

No clue? I've never felt the need, can do all my spilling with you lot.

Herrena Thu 27-Sep-12 09:53:41

Currently DS1 is 15mo and DS2 is 2mo. I often prefer spending time with DS2 alone because he is less like hard work!! Conversely, DH prefers DS1 because he's more interesting but also likes cuddles with DS2.

I imagine it'll iron itself out as they get older. I do think it's wrong if the favouritism is obvious enough for the kids to notice though.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 27-Sep-12 09:54:57

"I actually see it as a failure to parent if you make a dc feel second best but that's my opinion. "

I think it's actually a two-way street. Some parents (like the blogger) make a massive hash of it but some offspring are quite capable of feeling second-best with no justification whatsoever.

ReindeersGoldenBollocks Thu 27-Sep-12 09:55:14

DS asks if I have a favourite (I think he hopes it's him!). As I tell DS, he and his sister are two different people with their own unique personalities, quirks and habits. I love them for their own individual reasons, but I love both of them equally. They are both cute/awe inspiring/annoying/brilliant people why would I want to choose?

I adore both DC's so much and would hate for one of them to feel less loved and appreciated for just being themselves.

That fathers blog is disgraceful, but these things having a way to haunt the writers. I feel sorry for the younger son, who will one day realise what his father thinks, and worst still, published it for the whole world to see. It strikes me as cruel to be honest.

CuriousMama Thu 27-Sep-12 09:59:17

Oh I agree Cogito, they can feel it without justification. But I mean if we make them feel it, like this blogger and his shit, or exdh and his behaviour. They still own their own feelings and have their own emotional problems. DS2 has sn, under diagnosis for possible aspergers, and he'll say stuff like 'you hate me don't you' for the slightest thing. He soon regrets it when he's almost passing out from being squeezed but he ends up laughing. Since he started comp it's lessened a lot, thank goodness.

BadLad Thu 27-Sep-12 09:59:19

I can't help slightly preferring my younger nephew to his older brother. The younger is only a baby, so his development is more interesting for me to watch, as I have experience with children but none of babies, and also he doesn't sulk, throw tantrums etc. I hope it's only a temporary feeling.

When I am with the two of them I try as hard as I can not to let it show, and make as much effort as possible to involve both of them in the climbing all over Uncle BadLad they seem to like.

blisterpack Thu 27-Sep-12 10:01:49

I think all this "Everyone has a favourite, they just don't want to admit it" is to make these inadequate parents feel better about themselves. I'm sure some parents have favourites, not everyone.

diddl Thu 27-Sep-12 10:03:48

I don´t have a favourite but atm I seem to get on better with my daughter.

It´s horrible.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: