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got a date tonight and I'm getting nervous!

(364 Posts)
CrispyHedgehog Mon 24-Sep-12 16:50:04


Tamoo Tue 25-Sep-12 12:43:32

Sadly a lot of rapists are 'nice as pie' afterwards. If you said no and/or made it clear you didn't want to, and he did it anyway, then what he did was abhorrent as well as illegal.

kinkyfuckery Tue 25-Sep-12 12:46:34

Of fucking hell you poor girl.

You have to speak to someone. Do you have a friend/family member who can be with you just now?

ProphetOfDoom Tue 25-Sep-12 12:50:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrispyHedgehog Tue 25-Sep-12 13:00:50

Thanks everyone, I'll be back later.

Ive got to put a normal face on and go see to my elderly mum.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Tue 25-Sep-12 13:07:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paulapantsdown Tue 25-Sep-12 13:55:59

oh no crispy - i am sooooo upset for you

please speak to someone in rl who can help you with this

DreamingofSummer Tue 25-Sep-12 13:56:21

Of fuck crispy Sorry to have been flippant earlier.

Call the police and get the bastard off the streets

Lueji Tue 25-Sep-12 14:04:36

I agree.

Do go to the police.
And A&E for a rape kit. STD check in order?

Loads of hugs.

Doha Tue 25-Sep-12 15:08:08

Oh Crispy
Please go to police love-you were raped. Gather your thoughts together-is there anyone in RL you can confide in.

You do need an STI check, please look after yourself

tzella Tue 25-Sep-12 15:11:48

What the hell grin I feel sick for you grin

tzella Tue 25-Sep-12 15:12:12

OH GOD! Those were went to be shock, not grin! Oh god

swooosh Tue 25-Sep-12 18:06:16

Crispy you NEED to go to the police. As a person who works in a similar career as him it's VERY serious, imagine if he was working alone in a fast response. What if it happens to somebody else?

AnyFucker Tue 25-Sep-12 18:52:44

Crispy just needs to get her head together for now. Right at this minute her only responsibility is to herself, (and her old mum).

Hope you are ok, crispy. Come back when you can x

CrispyHedgehog Tue 25-Sep-12 20:51:56

I'm okish. Seeing gp in the morning. Thanks all of you xxx

ProphetOfDoom Tue 25-Sep-12 20:56:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Tue 25-Sep-12 21:01:16

Take care, crispy x

izzyizin Tue 25-Sep-12 21:37:28

Aw, jeez, Crispy sad Inadequate but sincerely meant (((hugs))).

Given his employment, he's got a constant and ever-changing pool of women to hone in on and I suspect he's done this before and it's probable that the vast majority of his victims haven't complained to the police for fear they wouldn't be believed - after all, he's a 'paramedic' and a man who spends his working life helping others and saving lives couldn't possibly be a rapist, could he?

I hope you know, and believe with every fibre of your being, that nothing you could have said or done last night would have changed the outcome and, no matter what you may have said or done, you are not responsible in any way for what he did to you.

My heart goes out to you, honey. Your world has been turned upside down and you've now got to concern yourself with doctors and health checks and other matters that you certainly didn't bargain on having to deal with this week.

Take care of yourself and know that you'll always find rock solid support here.

ScrambledSmegs Tue 25-Sep-12 22:01:01

Glad you're going to talk to someone. Take care of yourself, Crispy x

OrangeImperialGoldBlether Tue 25-Sep-12 22:08:26

Oh my god, you poor thing. Here I was all jealous of you with your lovely clothes and your date and then that fucker ruined everything. What a bastard. I hope you're alright and I hope you report him.

aleene Tue 25-Sep-12 22:24:35

Crispy, I'm so sorry. And very angry on your behalf.

I think the 'nice as pie' behaviour means he comes under the term 'gentleman rapist' (disclaimer; I don't know much more than that, just reading on MN).

I hope you get medical and police help. Wishing you lots of strength.

HotDAMNlifeisgood Tue 25-Sep-12 23:05:22

I'm so sorry Crispy. What he did was wrong.

Well done on booking a GP appointment tomorrow.

izzyizin Tue 25-Sep-12 23:45:20

I was so horrified to learn how your evening ended that I didn't properly read your earlier response and have only done so now.

very full on and intense.. too much so. Hugging and touching me like we'd been together for years

This is extremely cunning behaviour designed to show, if he were to be brought to account by the law, that he was out with the victim not long before he allegedly raped her and, as no doubt numerous bar/restaurant staff can testify, the victim was laughing and joking with him and was clearly not objecting to his physical attentions to her before they left the venue(s).

I don't suspect any longer. I know that this man is well-practised and he's raped women on numerous occasions. In short, he's serial rapist and he's not going to stop anytime soon.

If you can't bring yourself to report him, Crispy, maybe we can find a way to warn others.

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Wed 26-Sep-12 00:10:40

I know that this man is well-practised and he's raped women on numerous occasions.

Er, how the fuck do you know? You don't and none of us do.

So sorry for you OP. Your date sounds like a nightmare. If you had sex forced on you that you didn't want, you need to get professional help asap. Don't waste your time on MN, much as there are lots of lovely helpful people on here you are better off getting some support from Rape Crisis and going to the police right now.

All the best.x

izzyizin Wed 26-Sep-12 00:16:25

I do not intend to reveal my credentials here, Tired but if you want to believe that this man is anything other than an habitual rapist that's entirely up to you and you can go proclaim his innocence from the rooftops.

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Wed 26-Sep-12 00:26:48

I have no idea whether this man habitually rapes women and nor do you. I do not 'believe' anything either way, because I have no information. I wouldn't proclaim someone's innocence from the rooftops without any information any more than I would proclaim their guilt.

You'd be well advised to follow my example. And I think you are wise keeping schtum about your 'credentials' ;)

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