Hello, first time poster here, so thanks in advance for any advice.
BF of nine months is devastated after we found out I was pregnant last week. We were using rhythm/withdrawal methods, so perhaps not most secure method, but it's a bit of a shock nonetheless.
The problem is that he feels we have barely spent enough time together to know we can parent well together. I already have a 5 yo DS who I am bringing up alone (exp moved to Oz). This means we have only ever had one wekeend away on our own, for example. Although BF is brilliant with DS, I have been increasingly feeling that he is reluctant for us to move in together as he would be taking on a de facto parent role.
When we met BF said he did want children, but only when the time was right. He feels he can't support me financially at the moment and that there are still too many things he needs to achieve in life (despite nearly turning 40).
I said I was prepared to have an early medical abortion if he was able to thoroughly support me through it and we could plan another pregnancy in a year's time.
He feels that I would not cope well with an abortion, as I don't really want one and it would ruin our relationship. I think he's probably right. But I'm not sure our relationship will flourish with the stress of an unplanned pregnancy, given how he's not ready.
It's basically not looking good, is it? I am either staring down the barrel of an abortion and breakup or another single pregnancy and a break up. Am I a total idiot to pray for a 'let's see how we get on' and it all working out in the end? He says he loves me and does not want us to split up, but he has also told me the pregnancy has 'put him right off sex', so isn't exactly being very loving and tender right now :(
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
It's not looking good, is it?
fancyfilomena · 24/09/2012 15:33
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