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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Mon 24-Sep-12 11:09:56

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....hmm

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus. smile

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me <not really> wink so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon smile x

kotinka Tue 25-Sep-12 20:41:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deeli11 Tue 25-Sep-12 20:53:05

Glad the bus is back because I need it more than ever. Sat with a glass of white wine, packet of cigarettes, a relationship with the line 'drifted apart' running straight through it & a box of tissues (some soggy). sad
Gave up drink for a while (lime & soda sales soared!) thanks to the old bus.
I will wait at the bus stop for my moment to jump on board.

aliasjoey Tue 25-Sep-12 20:57:11

evening babes

Day 13.

My DD is entering a talent show run by DHs work. She has a good chance of winning too! (Last year she won a years fees to her stage school)

We got through the details today. My first thought wasn't how to support DD if she didn't win. It wasn't even what to do with the money (£1,000!!!) if she did win.

It was 'oooh! there's going to be a bar!' blush

aliasjoey Tue 25-Sep-12 21:00:14

kotinka sorry to hear you're feeling bad. Is there anyone who could be with you when SS come round? To advocate for you (and to help you see if you are deluded or not) Someone you feel sure is on your side?

kotinka Tue 25-Sep-12 21:00:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mouseface Tue 25-Sep-12 21:04:04

Good Evening Fair Babes

I am a mashed up medley of snot, thank you for asking Koti - re tomorrow, even if you were Mary Poppins, SS and SW in general seem to come with a predisposed label that they are born Satan, wielding fire and brimstone umbrellas.

Yes, of course, children are their number one concern, that's how the system works lovely BUT................. YOU MUST be positive. You care about your DCs, no-one can say otherwise but they have to tick he boxes, circle the numbers, sign you off etc.... you went through some pretty dark shit there sweets, they are looking out for ALL OF YOU.

Just take the pressure out of the situation. Whoever it is who is coming, is coming to make sure that all is well. SS/SW would ALWAYS prefer to keep families together as long as there was/is no reason (serious harm/danger etc) for them not to be.

Ask. Ask for help. Ask what she/he can do, will do now..... have they offered you support at all?

I have to go now but will be back in the morning. Sorry not to add more.....

Be safe Babes, nice to see new faces and those who have 11 whole amazing years under their belts (YOU WILL KEEP THEM!!!)

Mouse xx

dementedma Tue 25-Sep-12 21:09:39

Bus bug has claimed another victim - sneezes violently all over the sidecar. Scuse me. wipes nose on golden

aliasjoey Tue 25-Sep-12 21:12:23

Was that what they call a stealth boast? Sorry blush

Anyway have to think seriously about whether I want to have a drink at the talent show because I will be meeting all of my DHs new colleagues...

kot I think mouse has it right when she says SS do want to keep families together (it costs too much to have children in care anyway!) and you could ask them what they will do to support you.

kotinka Tue 25-Sep-12 21:16:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsm68 Tue 25-Sep-12 21:22:02

I'm coming along for the ride smile

aliasjoey Tue 25-Sep-12 22:22:13

kotinka you're right, it could be embarrassing - especially if she wins. I'd be sobbing, declaring to everyone that she'd be famous, that she had a gifthmm

But the nerves - the show, the act, the meeting of new people etc! I haven't done a thing like this (DHs works do) sober for... well possibly about 15 or 20 years. But I also find it hard to stop once started.

Hope everything goes okay for you tomorrow. Remember the SS are on your side (even if they do have funny ways of showing it)

aliasjoey Tue 25-Sep-12 22:23:57

maybe make a list of what happened in your situation, any triggers; what you are doing now to prevent a recurrence; what they could do to support you in that. Practical things.

GoldenSeptember Tue 25-Sep-12 23:15:41

<<moves swiftly into corner of sidecar so that there is room for Rural between me and snotbag Ma>> grin

Mouseface Wed 26-Sep-12 09:57:02

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Golden - are you a new Babe who I've missed to say hello to? blush How very rude of me, hello.

Joey - I agree with your advice to Koti re making a list and asking them what they would do if they were in your shoes.................. of course they may refuse to answer. Being all pure and saintly like wink

Don't think the worst, you have no idea what they will say. Keep an open mind and ASK QUESTIONS if you have them, their are there to support YOU and keep you all as a happy, safe family unit.

You fucked up. You're not the first, nor the last but this has to be the first and last time for YOU. Thinking of you xx

Mouseface Wed 26-Sep-12 10:06:05

<dons surgical mask and gloves, sprays Bus with Detol antibac spray and hands out pills and potions (of the non alcoholic kind) to those who are poorly and need looking after>

Seriously, I feel worse at the start and end of each day! Yuk. Snot is my new foundation, not sure it's my best look but it's all I have to work with right now.

Respite worker is due today..... major meltdown by Nemo is due around 12.15pm so if you see a large mushroom shaped cloud over SHropshire, that'll be here!!

I hope that all of the Babes are safe and not flooded? It's awful when your home is damaged by mother nature. sad

We have The One And Only Julia Donaldson (writer of The Gruffalo) in town today from 4pm so I expect the entire village to be gridlocked by erm, well, now! She's in a local book shop so the place will be a haven of 'got to get little Johnny there to meet her' mothers.

I am not going. I'm going to soft play hell as it will be deserted, thanks to Ms Donaldson grin

Right, time to update some pics.... will put some on my profile later. smile

swallowedAfly Wed 26-Sep-12 10:11:22


i'm going to sit at the back with a big blanket and watch movies (monitors in the backs of seats and remote control in the armrests folks - only the best for this bus).

horrible change in weather seems to have me beat - exhausted and feeling like i have my own little grey cloud following me around drizzling on me hmm not helping that my period is pissing about with the false starts then nothing game - just get on with it so i can feel the release of pressure damnit.

welcome to newcomers. i'm not usually this glum, honest.

Isindebusagain Wed 26-Sep-12 10:17:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kotinka Wed 26-Sep-12 10:35:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieorOllie Wed 26-Sep-12 11:08:50

Morning babes, just checking in.

Drank last night, 'only' two glasses of red, but still too much for me. Had a bit of a revelation though about how some of my drinking relates to my childhood and adolescence. I was brought up in an emotionally abusive household by a very controlling father and when I escaped and started drinking it had a lot to do with self-medicating for my emotional pain but also a lot to do with, 'no one can tell me what to do anymore, I get to make my own choices, I can drink myself into a coma if I want to'. Not particularly logical but that was definitely how I felt. And I felt a hint of that last night. What I've got to work on now is knowing that actually it's an equally legitimate choice to not drink or to drink sensibly. There's nothing to fight anymore except my issues but yet still I keep on trying to make some kind of 'point', perhaps to myself I guess. Hmm.

Anyway, happy birthday isinde

Koti I've been pretty much exactly where you are now. For me ss involvement ended when the community mental health team were happy with my progress. I was very angry that they were interfering at the time, but with the benefit of hindsight I accept that dd was indeed at risk and I think it was handled really well. It really sucks though. Like everyone says, you've got to make sure to tick all their boxes. I was far too confrontational and shut down when the process started, it didn't help anything. No matter how you feel you've got to suck it up and engage with them.

Hello to everyone else, and welcome new babes

aliasjoey Wed 26-Sep-12 11:43:05

isinde happy birthday, hope you have a great day!

mouse I think 'golden' is 'mia' under a different name...

WaterIsMyNewBestFriend Wed 26-Sep-12 11:59:54

Hi - I'm new on this thread (have name changed for fear of being outed in RL.

Just wondering if I could hop on board - I could use some support as TODAY I have decided to quit drinking.

Quite when a shared bottle of wine with dh on a Friday and Saturday night mutated into a bottle of wine every night happened, I have no idea.

And then every now and then a second bottle is opened for "just another glass".

It's not good is it? For both of us to be doing this is totally irresponsible to ourselves and our DC - I am ashamed.

I don't want to be like this anymore. It's boring.

kotinka Wed 26-Sep-12 12:10:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoNoNoMYDoIt Wed 26-Sep-12 12:37:29

happy birthday isinde

hoping the bugs are defusing in the new bus. i start every day feeling not to bad and the aches and the snot build throughout the day

had very strong cravings for alcohol last night - mostly because i felt so ill and thought 'what the hell'. fortunately no booze in the house so no chance of acting on the cravings

ellieorollie - sounds very familiar. i think i drank also partly because my mother was so controlling that the drinking (which was something she NEVER did and was very 'anti') was almost a conscious act of flying in her face. and it coincided with me leaving home, going to uni and for once not having to account for everything i did to someone. unfortunately, it didn't end well in my case...

received my in scope for redundancy notification today. very unnerving. won't find out till 14/11 for sure but will know by mid-Oct whether i am actually going to be made redundant

NoNoNoMYDoIt Wed 26-Sep-12 12:39:54

kotinka - i do hope things go ok this afternoon for you.

water - welcome. in my case DEFINITELY having no alcohol in the house is key

jesuswhatnext Wed 26-Sep-12 12:42:07

hello you lovely lot!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISINDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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