Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Turning Over Autumn Leaves In Search For Our Own Personal Sobriety

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Mon 24-Sep-12 11:09:56

Hello, I'm mouse and my best friend used to be vodka. We were inseparable at the time, such fun! Wild nights out, wild nights in..... danger, excitement, strangers, not knowing where I was when I woke up, oh it was all so fantastic.....hmm

Not the case for the last couple of years or so, since I found this Bus. smile

Now, we are practically strangers. Don't get me wrong, I still abuse alcohol and use it to self-medicate which completely defeats all of the work I've put in, trying to see my life through sober eyes but that's just how I do things......

Anyway, that's enough about me <not really> wink so why not come say hello to the others on the Bus, we're all at different stages of drinking, not drinking or complete abstinence (of the drinking kind!)

No-one on the Bus wears judgy pants, nylon bloomers, leopard skin thongs? Maybe...... I wouldn't like to ask to be honest! But we are all here for the very same reason, we can't (or don't want to) control our drinking like 'normal' people do.

If you'd like to see how this all started, why not have a look HERE and read about one of the most inspirational ladies you'll ever 'know'.

You can also follow the threads, one by one, by clicking on the links on each thread towards the end, leading to the next etc......

See you soon smile x

Fairenuff Mon 24-Sep-12 18:06:28

< hoiks up leopard skin thong nylon bloomers >

< bagsies seat right at the back >

< goes back to old thread before getting told off by Mouse grin >

kotinka Mon 24-Sep-12 18:25:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hoopieghirl Mon 24-Sep-12 20:09:27

Making myself comfy in my big girl pants. Alcohol free since 5 August but its hard smile

aliasjoey Mon 24-Sep-12 20:14:08

oh here you are. Was looking for you on the other thread.

Welcome hoopie

ohcluttergotme Mon 24-Sep-12 20:41:07

Love new thread name, hope everyone's cozy indoors whilst ts so horrible out of doors. Not drunk since the 4 drinks I had at wedding but eating TONS!! This is not good either! Feel like I can really taste flavours more.

Daisy0407 Mon 24-Sep-12 22:47:24

Evening all X

I'm at the end of day 5. I struggled all weekend, but didn't buy wine. The key thing for me is definitely not to have anything in the house.

I'm struggling with a family issue at the moment. Not DH and the kids but my brother. The problem I have is that if I don't back down it could rip my family apart sad

I'm not 100% sure why I can't give in over his matter. It doesn't help that I have zero respect for my brother. He is such a "woe is me" person. Goes on about the crap childhood he had. I was there too! He's selfish, puts my mum through hell sometimes.

Anyhow, need to deal with this somehow. Wine won't help. Would help me sleep, but nowt else!! I'm feeling really stressed about it though. I've told rl people about it ad they agree with me. But I wonder if they're doing tht just because they like me. I need to ask for some honest opinions.

kotinka Mon 24-Sep-12 23:51:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thurso1 Mon 24-Sep-12 23:52:15

kotinka smile

See you tomorrow xx

GoldenSeptember Tue 25-Sep-12 00:40:14

<<slinks in and bags seat in side car>>

NoNoNoMYDoIt Tue 25-Sep-12 07:22:54

Getting seat on bus not too near back as I get travel sick. Hope this one is less germ laden. Still coughing and snottering

clutter - very well done indeed!

greeneyed Tue 25-Sep-12 07:29:30

Good morning brave babes, still looking around

GilbGeekette Tue 25-Sep-12 07:53:53

Hi all. I'm new to this board. I'll have been dry for 11 years on 1 October.

I found out a few weeks ago that my ExH and father of my two DDs is terminally ill. We're all very shocked, and my DDs are desperately upset. Eldest is 16 and lives with her Dad and his wife. Youngest is 14 and lives with me and my DH. They're both in pieces and I'm emotionally worn out. I'm talking to them, and listening to them and I feel like a sponge; I'm soaking up all their fear and sadness, but that's my job as their mum, right? To love them and to do everything I can to support them.

For the last few years, being dry hasn't felt like work at all (hurrah) but now that little voice is back, nagging away in the back of my head. The only stuff we have in the house is DHs red wine (which I loathe, so it's never bothered me) and my seal unbroken bottle of bourbon. Whenever I've wanted to drink, I have a 'stare-off' with the bottle, to prove to myself that I'm strong and I can win. I always have done. It's getting harder to win.

Does anyone have any ideas about beating off the 'just one won't hurt' voice?

ohcluttergotme Tue 25-Sep-12 08:09:56

Hi and welcome GilbGeekette I'm new to this bus too but have found the most helpful people on this people. That's amazing that you have been dry for almost 11 years, you must definitely be one very strong lady. So sorry to hear about your hard time, altho you are being there for your children as you feel this is what you need to do as role of mother it must also be awful for you mixed up with feelings you once had for this this man. I have often had that voice saying "one won't hurt" and also had people saying that to me which makes it so hard to resist. I'm currently trying to overcome nearly 20 years of destructive drinking and in my opinion one nearly always does hurt and especially if it's wine. What would you be hoping to be feeling by having one, would you get that from one, would you need another, then another? Sure someone will be along to offer some better support/advice. For me though to try to beat that one won't hurt voice I would keep telling myself it would, and remember times that it has. Good luck smile

Nat38 Tue 25-Sep-12 08:23:44

Clutter I`m eating a fair amount of chocolate at the moment too!! I`ve always been a savoury person rather than a sweet person-I reach for the crisps rather than the chocolate normally!blushgrin Hoping it will wear off very soon as I really don`t need to put on any more weight as I`m already rather large!gringrin
GilbGeekette Hi wow 11 years!! well done You WILL win the stare-off with the bottle, if only to keep supporting your kids at this sad time! Please don`t start again after 11 years! The only advice I can give about `just one won`t hurt` voice is that with me once I`ve had one that voice says`well another won`t hurt` so I`m finding it easier not to have that first drink!winksmile
i`m now alcohol free for about a week & a half & feeling rather good about myself-except for the chocolate eatingshockgrin

GilbGeekette Tue 25-Sep-12 08:33:19

Clutter Thanks. It's all made harder by the fact that ExH and I didn't have a good relationship, he was a terrible husband, but is a good father. It feels a bit like I'm being expected to ignore all the bad stuff and think of him as a saint now, think that might sound awful, but they're just feelings that don't go away!

Both you and Nat are right about just one hurting. It's a case of 'one is too many, but two isn't nearly enough' with me. I'm back to taking it hour by hour, something I thought I'd left behind a long time ago blush I'm quite glad I'm less than a week off my 11 year anniversary, the passing of another dry year has always been something that I mark so it makes me more determined not to slip, as it were.

It's really nice to have other people who get what it feels like. DH is very supportive but has such huge levels of self-control that I think he tries, but doesn't understand, the complicated emotional struggles that sometimes happen when you know you can't drink but still want to!

greeneyed Tue 25-Sep-12 09:13:08

I am reliant upon and abuse alcohol, I haven't been to the places many of you have been and have also never given up so probably aren'y qualified to comment. However if it is anything like quitting smoking, I gave up for 8 years decided one won't hurt when I go out which led to a few won't hurt when I go out etc etc, a long slide down but two years later I am addicted again and standing out in the rain and cold puffing on a fag and hating myself for it. Allowing yourself to have just one is the key that opens the door and the floodgates. Sorry this is probably not relevant at all! Does addiction ever leave or just wait around the corner waiting to pounce?

greeneyed Tue 25-Sep-12 09:19:00

I sometimes think that the longer you have the quit womething the more vunerable you are as the more confident you are in your mastery of the substance

aliasjoey Tue 25-Sep-12 10:10:21

clutter - "one nearly always does hurt" grin

Another alcohol-free (wine) house. If its there, I'll drink it, so it's just easier not to. Noticed my DH has started cutting down on his beers too, the influence of the Bus reaches far!!

Golden September is that you?

aliasjoey Tue 25-Sep-12 10:13:07

Daisy let it all out, scream and shout. We're listening.

geek 11 years is brilliant, I hope you don't give in now.

dementedma Tue 25-Sep-12 13:07:57

makes room in the sidecar for Golden
took me ages to find you buggers...mutter...mumble...gurmble

kotinka Tue 25-Sep-12 14:44:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GilbGeekette Tue 25-Sep-12 14:56:27

Kotinka grin

GoldenSeptember Tue 25-Sep-12 15:08:35

grin at Joey Yes it's me! I'm still here, lurking. Took me a while to catch up with the end of the last thread though - busy few days on the bus!

Gilb I agree with Green about it being like smoking. You think 'one won't hurt' but it will wake up the little monster inside you which will then want feeding. It won't be that hungry to start with, but the more you feed it, the hungrier it'll get, and before you know it, it'll be clamouring at you all the time. Eleven years is a fantastic achievement. Don't blow it now, drinking will not help you or your DDs in any way at all - it will make things worse.

Kotinka sorry to read that things have been so bad for you lately. Hope you're through the darkness and out the other side.

<<squishes in beside Ma, opens thermos of tea>>

ruralreynard Tue 25-Sep-12 18:37:00

Just checking in. <sits on seat next to nono puts on facemask to ward off germs>
day 4 and the wine is calling. Agree with green about it being like smoking and the little monster. TBH had quit smoking for 6 months and have now started again not many but creeping up, not sure whether to take the miflaw view and concentrate on the alcohol problem or to try and not pick up the first cigarette as well as the first drink.
Mean,t to say big welcome to gilb and 11 years is fantastic smile
golden I seem to spend a lot of time in the sidecar so try not to get to comfortable it might be a tight squeeze in there soon grin
koti you sound more positive hope things are on the up.
Control Freak calls, Probably wants his bottom wiped grin
bye for now.

This thread is not accepting new messages.