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Found some Viagra...

(86 Posts)
crazygracieuk Sun 23-Sep-12 22:21:47

Married to dh for 10+ years, 3 kids, no plans for more and he is 41 years old.

I accidentally found an empty box of Viagra in the car. Prescription date is 11 September and all 4 had been taken. We have had sex once and I really don't think that he's cheating.

Should I ask him what's going on or pretend not to know and save him the embarrassment?

Sex has dwindled a lot. I'd put it down to him exercising a lot more and dieting.

BurlingtonBertieFromBow Sun 23-Sep-12 22:24:44

Weird that he would have taken 4 tablets in 12 days. Would he even have had an opportunity for 4 shags in that time (with someone else I mean)?

SquashedSquirrel Sun 23-Sep-12 22:26:30

Does he have diabetes? I believe that 40+yr old men who are diabetic are automatically offered viagra on prescription for free. Maybe he just hasn't mentioned it out of embarrassment - although that wouldn't account for all 4 tabs being used (when you've only had sex once).

SchrodingersMew Sun 23-Sep-12 22:30:35

I would say masturbation but it strikes me as odd the box is in the car. confused

DoIDare Sun 23-Sep-12 22:32:56

Ok. Don't automatically jump to conclusions . Last week I found a pack of 3 condoms in my car and was appalled, until I remembered buying them as tesco were out of usual large pack and could not find them in my shopping.

However, Viagra, exercising, weightloss and minimal sex are flags in my book. Say nothing yet, investigate more.

I wish you well.

crazygracieuk Sun 23-Sep-12 22:34:32

I assume he masturbated or changed his mind on the 3 occasions he took it but we didn't shag.

He gets home (by car) about 8pm so I assumed he took it before leaving work (and that it takes time to kick in) .

BurlingtonBertieFromBow Sun 23-Sep-12 22:35:13

That's plausible

FatFaced Sun 23-Sep-12 22:36:06

I would ask him.

SassySpice Sun 23-Sep-12 22:37:08

Hmmmm, hidden Viagra + diet + exercise = red flags

crazygracieuk Sun 23-Sep-12 22:38:39

Doldare- I know what you are saying but I can't find evidence of an affair. He usually pays for stuff by card and there are no questionable items on online banking. I can check his work and personal email via his phone which I know the password to. He's not possessive or secretive over his phone either. Internet history is also normal-no porn, chat sites etc.

DoIDare Sun 23-Sep-12 22:50:56

That's good. I know hoof beats usually mean horses, but sometimes zebras do appear.

However, cash withdrawals cover a lot, a second payg phone or sim card is cheap, so tbh, I would continue to dig.

Is his health good? Has he always returned home at 8pm. Can you always reach him in an emergency?

Maybe he is experimenting with Viagra and wants to know all is well before seducing you. But you are concerned, so I think you need to put your mind at rest without any possible cover ups.

Sometimes stuff people hide is worse than an affair. Sometimes normal insecurity and privacy.

BabylonPI Sun 23-Sep-12 22:53:50

My alarm bells rang at the diet and exercise tbh.

Surely losing weight and feeling fitter would make him want sex more, not less??

crazygracieuk Sun 23-Sep-12 23:16:43

I know that dieting and exercising is a red flag but I've been doing it too and am definitely not having an affair.

Will ask him in a bit but I'm feeling nervous that I'll ask the wrong way and it'll sound like a moan about lack of sex which will turn him off even more.

According to Google, a man who becomes leaner rather than musclier has less testosterone so I'm kinda hoping it's a case of that or a getting older thing but we'll see...

Thanks for the moral support.

Hatpin Sun 23-Sep-12 23:17:47

Do you think he had taken it the last time you had sex?

You usually take it about 30 - 60 mins beforehand.

Mayisout Sun 23-Sep-12 23:29:08

You could hint that you are in the mood one evening and see if he appears with a humungous dinger 40 mins later grin

or try to start a conversation saying you miss the great sex you had when you first met, or something, and see if he mention the viagra (or maybe you could mention viagra - jokily).

My DH took it occasionally and it seemed to give him heart palpitations so didn't again so it might be he is taking it but struggling to get used to it.

adrastea Sun 23-Sep-12 23:32:58

Had he taken it when you had sex that once?

Opentooffers Mon 24-Sep-12 00:31:44

Hmm.. can't really put it down to exercising lots as that tends to increase libido. Some red flags, but you know him and seem sure about him. Wardrobe changed a bit too? More care in appearance? How convinced are you? Maybe a bit more thought and critical observation required, or a mid-life crisis?

Aussiebean Mon 24-Sep-12 00:36:18

My other half has taken up rock climbing and running. He is a lot more up for now, not the other way round.

Saying that I hope it works out in a good way.

Opentooffers Mon 24-Sep-12 00:36:51

You should know if he had had it before you last had sex - it would of been completely different. Think back, was it same as ever or not?

EnglishNotMy1stLanguage Mon 24-Sep-12 01:05:06

Just bumping up.

Taghain Mon 24-Sep-12 08:57:17

Viagra's not available on the NHS, so he'll have had to pay for a private prescription. Does that appear on his credit card statements? (In a chemist's shop, or Boots, I guess)
If not, he's hiding the purchase from you.
I can't see why a man would take Viagra for masturbation at all. You're either in the mood or not, and planning a wank for an hour's time seems improbable.

I'd keep quiet and observant.

BabylonPI Mon 24-Sep-12 09:05:10

So did you ask him op??

I hope all us red flag wavers are completely off the mark smile

mcmooncup Mon 24-Sep-12 09:06:33

Does he have erectile issues?
I can't think of a single legitimate reason why a DH would take 4 viagras when not with his Dw.
I'd say nothing. Or alternatively have an insipid conversation about 'a friend' whose DH used Viagra and see if he mentions it.
Spidey senses going awry I'm afraid sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 24-Sep-12 09:07:49

I'd ask in a lighthearted way. "You'll never guess what I found in the car...." and take it from there. You've been married for 10 years and have 3 kids. I'm sure you can both cope with a bit of embarrassment. It's certainly better than rifling through his e-mails etc.

OneMoreChap Mon 24-Sep-12 09:13:52

He may find it embarrassing. I did. Now I get "Are you taking one of your pills...".

I didn't tell DW for ages, and I would take a tablet (or more usually half) in the hope we would dtd.

If we didn't I might get a wee headache or the snuffles, but she'd not notice. The second time we dtd and I had taken one she certainly noticed. I 'fessed up and there's been no embarrassment since.

Incidentally, I'd compare it to a vibrator - you don't always need it..., but if you use it it ensures a good result and takes a lot of "head" pressure off.

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