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complety heartbroken

(15 Posts)
hurtbeyondrepair Sat 22-Sep-12 19:57:19

i have been with dp for three years and have stood by him when he needed me the most when no one else was there for him and in the past few months all we seem to do is fight.he constantly lets me down with everything even the small things we don't do anything as a couple as he is always out with his friends who i feel are more important to him even though when he needed them not one of them was seen.

so anyway last night he went out on his usual friday night jaunts and told me he would be home later that night normally i would be calling him asking where he is and what is he doing(trust issuses) which then results in him either not coming home or just ignoring me but last night i didn't bother went to sleep and he called me at 5am accidently so i called back and ased if he was coming home and he told me no so i wnet crazy sending him nasty messages telling him that i have had enough and he acting like a child trying to relive his youth whilst missing out on dcs childhood.

so today he has totally ignored me even though he was suppose to take dcs out but said he doesn't want to see me so won't have them i now he no good really but that doesn't stop it hurting so while i'm sitting here crying he's out drinking with his friends and i just don't know what to do

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sat 22-Sep-12 19:58:48

What do you mean you went crazy? And what reason have you for your trust issues? Are the DCs his?

hurtbeyondrepair Sat 22-Sep-12 20:00:03

i mean got angry that he hasn't come home again! yes dcs are his and i think he may be seeing someone else

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sat 22-Sep-12 20:01:14


Breathe. And stay calm.

Why do you think he's seeing someone else?

What age are the children?

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 22-Sep-12 20:05:00

Why are you putting up with being treated like shit?! Surely you know you are better without him?

hurtbeyondrepair Sat 22-Sep-12 20:06:41

i have seen pics on his phone he said they were sent to him by his friend
plus just the way he is behaving.

dcs are 2

lowercase Sat 22-Sep-12 20:08:49

been there...done that...

when you go crazy they use that as an excuse to shirk their responsibilities.

ime, it doesnt end well, they dont step up to the plate and you continue to raise the dc alone, either with resentments, or get rid of them and raise the dc alone with a future chance of happiness.

brew for you

lowercase Sat 22-Sep-12 20:10:33

Gosh, you have evidence as well.

can you find the strength to fuck him off? just so you can get your head together and decide what you want..

hurtbeyondrepair Sat 22-Sep-12 20:12:19

i know i deserve better but with all we have been through it just feels like giving up after only a short period but i know that if i don't it will just end up making me ill.

and thank you lower but i have wine to drown my sorrows.

lowercase Sat 22-Sep-12 20:25:32

leave him there!
drinking with whoever, having fake fun with alcohol, the drink wears off at some point and you have to face the day.

look at what you have, the fullness of life!
all the love in the world, real, authentic love with your dc.

start to plan your tonight / tomorrow without him in the picture, do you like swimming? that gets them good and tired.
any other mum friends you can plot up with?
go to softplay?

drink your wine, get a bath and an early night.

2 years ago i was in your situation.
im happy today.

izzyizin Sat 22-Sep-12 20:32:40

You don't have to drown your sorrows, honey. All you need to do is drown kick him into orbit.

Instead of thinking of it as 'giving up after only a short period', think of it as giving yourself the opportunity to discover whether he's worthy of you standing by him when no-one else would/will.

Tell him to sling his hook take himself off for an indefinite period until he's fit to call himself a man of honour who takes his responsibilities to his dc and to their dm seriously.

hurtbeyondrepair Sat 22-Sep-12 20:51:43

thank you i really do need to do it not just for myself but for my dcs they don't need to see their mum in floods of tears its not healthy for them it nearly broke my heart earlier i was so upset after being out all day i was sat at home alone and started crying and ds come up to and wiped my tears and just looked so sad i cant do it anymore

lowercase Sat 22-Sep-12 21:00:37

children are ok, as long as they are honest tears...

cut him out for 48 hours, let him feel a little of what you have been feeling.

what would you be advising a friend in this situation?
do that!

izzyizin Sat 22-Sep-12 21:01:38

Instead of living your life for him, start living it for yourself and for your dc.

If the faith you showed in standing by him when others crossed the street to avoid him is not misplaced, he'll man up and be all that a partner and father should be.

If he's not up to it, it's far better for you to know now and cut him out of your life your cloth accordingly

You CAN do it, honey, and you WILL do whatever needs to be done to ensure that your dc don't grow up to be like him.

hurtbeyondrepair Sat 22-Sep-12 21:10:56

i'm gonna try and get down to my mums to get some time away.

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