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Tried anal sex, underwhelmed, am I missing something here???

(94 Posts)
louloo78 Sat 22-Sep-12 01:55:32

Ok, here goes, and sorry in advance if TMI...So, DP and I recently started experimenting with, erm, rear-entry shenanigans blush, he'd tried it before with previous partners but TBH I'd always been put off by horror stories (pain/mess/looseness....leakage shock)

Anyways, in short, have now tried it a few times with DP (every time in various degrees of mild tipsiness TBH) and, well, I'm just not feelin' it, so to speak.

No pain, a bit of a general weird feeling (especially when DP takes it out, really feels like I'm gonna poo blush). But other than that, nothing. Although relieved it doesn't really hurt, I'm not getting anything out of it all, and really starting to feel like I'm missing something. Have one friend who absolutely swears by it, and I'm starting to feel like I'm doing it wrong!

DP says he's not fussed but he clearly gets off on it and I kinda like that and want to persevere, and I do like the whole naughtiness of it all.

Does anyone have any advice about how I can make this more enjoyable? Have looked at the threads already on MN but they don't really deal with this Heard that there might be certain lubricants that can increase sensitivity. Perhaps some kinds of toys?

izzyizin Sat 22-Sep-12 02:28:08

Naughtiness? What possible naughtiness can there be in Catholic sex? confused

Does your friend swear by it because of its contraceptive effectiveness, or is he gay?

monsterchild Sat 22-Sep-12 02:29:07

I think you either like it or you don't. Dh and I also gave this a go but both came away feeling Meh. And I agree on the removal feeling, just too weird!

the only advice I would give is be very careful as those tissues are much more delicate than vaginal tissues!

Oh and have a go giving it to him, too! It's the only time he'll get penetrated, you can finally share an experience on the same level!

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmm Sat 22-Sep-12 02:32:04

LMFAO .. i comment after chatting to a gay friend who says 'LUBE lube and always use lube'

Go to the loo beforehand, if poss at least an hour

Try to use protection but if you dont <boak> get him to wash it straight afterwards.. thoroughly

Be prepared for the following morning being like an enema nightmare if he cums

Thats all i can say really.. google it!

deleted203 Sat 22-Sep-12 02:32:48

Can't believe you'd want to keep going, TBH. It's not something I've ever fancied (like you, pain/mess/etc) but fair enough, you gave it a go. You're getting nothing out of it. If it doesn't float your boat at all I don't see that persevering is likely to improve matters. And to put it bluntly, if a willy up the back passage doesn't do a lot for you why would a sex toy be any better? However, perhaps someone with experience might offer constructive advice hmm

Dryjuice25 Sat 22-Sep-12 02:43:52

Sorry no advice as I'm determined to die an anal virgin.

chris123456 Sat 22-Sep-12 03:18:41

You need to check in to Sherwood, Elveden or Longleat.

Toastwithatwist Sat 22-Sep-12 04:53:18

Lying on you back, legs on his shoulders so he can use his hands on you can lead to amazing orgasms, that are unlike any other you've previously had. Apparently...

fridakahlo Sat 22-Sep-12 05:05:51

I get really crazily good orgasms from anal stuff, but it is being fingered anally that does the most for me. Or having a toy used. Anal sex is, imo, nice but how I got to that stage, fuck knows.
Perhaps try clitoral stimulation at the same time?

MableLabel Sat 22-Sep-12 05:58:19

Soz, does absolutely nothing for me at all. Rocking up at A&E one day with a bowel obstruction or constant leakage kind of turns me off!

WaitingForMe Sat 22-Sep-12 08:29:54

I'm pretty meh about it in itself but DH really gets off on it and I get off on his reaction so we do it now and again.

I think it's like anything else in the bedroom, some stuff you like some stuff you're not bothered about. I like getting tied up so that leads to explosive orgasms for me but if you found the rope uncomfortable it'd unlikely do much for yours.

louloo78 Sat 22-Sep-12 10:00:45

Thanks for the advice so far. As to why I would want to keep going, well, I suppose I was so prepared for expected pain, etc, that when the experience was relatively benign it made me determined to try to keep an open mind give it another go. Don't want to give the idea that I'm just doing it for DP but love his intense reaction....but hate fact that just described a sex act as 'benign'!!!

Frida and Waitingforme, 'explosive crazy orgasms'!? Really? hmm Just can't see how at the moment, I just can't feel anything really, envious of those who can, party I'm not invited to and all that! envy Both I and DP are pretty open-minded I suppose so willing to combine with other stuff, being tied up, etc, to increase the whole submission/power/forbidden thrill thing, which I suspect might be the key...just lacking ideas at the mo I suppose.

Friend mentioned a special 'tingly' or heat-inducing lube. Will this increase the sensation? Has anyone had any experience with these?

buena Sat 22-Sep-12 13:48:52

I wouldn't use any strange lubes if I were you - they can create a burning sensation and it could be quite uncomfortable and itchy for quite a while. Personally, I think enjoying bum sex is more psychological than physical per se. I do it periodically with DH but we used to do it much more in the past. Sometimes I do really enjoy it (not quite "crazy orgasms" but a real turn on). Think it just depends on my mood and, ahem, whether I've had a few drinks beforehand. Oh and I would def say try alongside clitoral stimulation (possibly with small toy?) - it takes a bit of the focus off your bum, ifkwim.

Youcanringmybell Sat 22-Sep-12 13:53:33

I think in order for you to really enjoy it you would need to try double penetration. So Dh husband doing his thing and you using a vibrator at the same time. You might both reach orgasm that way.

sades101 Sat 22-Sep-12 14:23:03

BUMS ARE EXIT HOLES...Why would anyone want to walk away with a shitty dick yuk... Dryjuice25 I agree anal virgin forever

lolaflores Sat 22-Sep-12 14:26:24

My dh younger than me, the first and only time we tried it, I felt like I was assaulting him. he was the bum virgin. we have never done it since. I am not a fan, leaves me a bit like....where's the point in that then? Not for everyone and you defo haven't missed the parade.
By the way, can anyone explain about SHerwood Longleat or whatever. Should we be doing it in a forest or safari park? Is that the bit that really makes it go bing?

sades101 Sat 22-Sep-12 14:27:59

lolaflores those locations are all centreparcs... not sure of what the link is though?

Geordieminx Sat 22-Sep-12 14:34:10

You should def use lube but nothing more than KY jelly otherwise you could end up being v sore and irritated

"Doggy style" can work well, or so I have heard, means its easier for double penetration too .

FiteFuaite Sat 22-Sep-12 14:47:24

chris123456 Sat 22-Sep-12 03:18:41

You need to check in to Sherwood, Elveden or Longleat.

grin Ah the memories!!

Can't search as I am on my phone but I am sure someone else will come along and explain grin

namechangesaturday Sat 22-Sep-12 15:00:53

My partner and I do a lot of anal and both love it. I have amazing orgasms with it even without direct and extra clitoral stimulation but that depends on position. They only happen like that in traditional missionary type position.

KY is not a great lube for it. I would recommend something like Pjur Eros. They do a specific anal one but the regular one is fine. A little goes a long way and it doesn't dry out or get sticky like the Durex one does.

OP what position did you try? You could try altering that, using a very good lube, making sure you're very turned on before, maybe have a glass or two of wine and also try a vibrator at the same time.

Why would anyone want to walk away with a shitty dick yuk
sades101 What are you talking about? I have been doing this a long time and that has never happened once. It's a misconception that that happens all the time or even a lot of the time. The rectum when empty is empty and doesn't have any matter in it or on the sides or anything. You just need to make sure you have been to the toilet before.

Justesayin Sat 22-Sep-12 15:25:23

Lots of people don't feel anything sexual inside their bowels. It's quite normal don't worry OP.

If your DP loves it a lot maybe you can get a big dildo and use on him while he stimulates your clit. No need for your bum to get involved.

MrsjREwing Sat 22-Sep-12 15:37:58

If it does nothing for you then don't do it. If anal excites your dp, I agree try a dildo up his anus if the naughtyness excites you both.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 22-Sep-12 18:08:21

Google Centreparcs anal sex - the Mumsnet thread will be on the first page. Hilarious!

BardOfBarking Sat 22-Sep-12 18:35:46

I love it and my DP was absolutely-fucking-delighted when we realised that I could orgasm during anal blush I think it is the forbidden-ness of it that turns me on massively, so I'm almost there before we even begin. In fact just thinking about it makes me hot & bothered. Think I might go & whisper something naughty in DP eargrin

louloo78 Sat 22-Sep-12 18:45:42

Thanks namechange, we've only tried it doggy-style. Stupidly hadn't really occurred to me that changing position might increase sensitivity. Have used lube on all occasions but some cheapy durex stuff from chemist. And have to agree, that we've never experienced any messiness at all or 'post event looseness' ( far! touch wood. don't know how I'd react to poo, may feel different about the whole thing, but I suppose the risk kinda goes with the territory so to speak blush).

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