I want to divorce my H. Things have been terrible for a long time and from reading this wonderful forum I would say he has often been verbally abusive and also quite controlling. I have ordered Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That? for more info.
Anyway the thought of living here without him is so amazing and freeing that I am trying to push that idea and am seeing a solicitor next week.
However, H is fighting against it, seems to think that a crap relationship is OK . He emailed me a link recently to an article that said that children don't care if their parents are unhappy, so long as they are together.
I agreed with some of the article in that it said kids want to have a routine and know where they are at and be able to keep playing with their friends etc etc. I must say, I do worry about them changing houses twice a week - we are thinking of having 50:50 custody but I also feel that if we handle the whole thing well then the fallout will be minimal.
However, how do I deal with a man who is going to guilt trip me the whole time? Every time one of the children (we have 3) gets upset about this or anything else, he is going to say "Look what you've done" etc etc. I shall have to be strong for the kids anyway but I can imagine the constant attacks from him too. Having someone tell you you are hurting your own kids is so awful but I cannot go on like this.
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Relationships
H saying our children will be hugely damaged if we split up
HopefulFuture · 20/09/2012 20:31
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