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injunction advice

(24 Posts)
nailak Sun 16-Sep-12 02:35:42

I need some help.for a friend,
She has left an abusive husband and has an injunction out against him. She has a solicitor from a local dv charity, but the solicitor is rubbish, doesn't listen to her properly etc.

So basically when she moved to b and b she saw her dhs car a few times near where she was staying, and presumed he was following her. Kids still have same Dr, school etc.

Then he approached her in park she was with neighbor from b and b, he tried to give her a phone she walked away he gave it to one of kids and she didn't see until she was away from him.

She called police, they said it was public space, they can't do anything. His solicitor said she phoned him and asked for phone, her solicitor missed the bit where she said she didn't know her child had the phone in pocket till later so it looks like she took the phone.

Then she is moved to temporary accomadation, she sees his car on main road but has to go in subway to get to her house. So one day she is walking to her house and he appears AMD tries to push himself in the neighbors come straight away and he drops a bag and runs . In the bag was a wire and a bread roll?
The neighbor said she saw him following her, hiding behind cars and ducking down and stuff.

She reports it again.

He tells police they spent day together. He tells them everything she did that day she went to post office, to this shop, we went to chicken shop this is what she ordered etc, he had been following her the whole day!

Meanwhile custody case he gets supervised access.

nailak Sun 16-Sep-12 02:37:45

Sorry posted to soon, she is not giving access till police investigate this latest injunction breach, she told them check CCTV, but it is like 2 weeks now. His solicitor is sending letters saying she is un breach of court by not arranging access.

Women's aid reccommend cab,

But has anyone here got any advice?

WhoWhatWhereWhen Sun 16-Sep-12 02:43:08

If she goes to CAB they'll signpost her to a solicitor, if she's not happy with the one she has now she should find another one.

izzyizin Sun 16-Sep-12 03:47:27

What are the exact terms of the injunction? Is it a non-molestation Order and does it specify that he's should not go within a set distance of her address and her person?

Unless he was arrested for being in breach of an injunction, it's highly unlikely that the police will have checked any cctv footage and, if they haven't done so by now, it's likely that any tapes in use on the day won't be available as they'll have been re-used and recorded over.

Where is it intended that his supervised access takes place? Is the proposed venue an accredited contact centre? If so, perhaps your friend can prevail on another party to take and collect the dc on her behalf so that she doesn't have to see him.

It sounds to me as if your friend needs a shit hot lawyer who is able to kick arse put her case forcefully to the Courts and to the police and I suggest that she gives Rights of Women a call on Monday.

Does your friend have a dv counsellor who can advocate for her?

izzyizin Sun 16-Sep-12 03:48:33

nailak Sun 16-Sep-12 23:42:19

the injunction says he is not allowed within a certain distance yes, but police dont seem to care coz he is making it out like she invited him to come within this distance, and his solicitor seems better then hers.

He was arrested then bailed without charge twice.

She doesnt have a case worker because she didnt go in to a refuge or some silly excuse like that, but she is in touch with a local dv organisation, they are who gave the solicitor in the first place.

I will tell her to check out that rights of woman site, thanks!

izzyizin Mon 17-Sep-12 00:38:35

This is where I rant get despairing at the failure of many police forces to take appropriate action when injunctions have been obtained after victims of abuse who have been forced found it necessary to resort to this extreme measure because many police forces/officers fail to take appropriate action when incidents of dv are reported to them... thus enabling the cycle of abuse and intimidation to continue unabated.

Your friend's situation is not uncommon and, along with many other victims of dv, she is effectively on a loop that goes around in ever increasing circles <<bangs head on table>>

If your friend reported an incident of domestic violence to the police prior to obtaining an injunction against her abuser, she should have been referred by the police to a dv worker.

Is your friend's local dv organisation Women's Aid? If not, I suggest she locates her nearest WA office here and give them a call too.

Unfortunately, it's probable that what it will come down to is for your friend to call the police on any/every occasion that he breaches the terms of the injunction and continue to bang her her head against a brick wall call them until such time as she encounters officers who are up to speed with their force's policy on dv, which is no doubt triumphantly emblazoned on its website leading the unsuspecting to believe the message contained thereon.

nailak Mon 17-Sep-12 17:12:18

I just didn't get it, I thought this can't be right,

When I rand woman's aid they said tell her cab, and some course about not being scared.

I want to know what should the police do? Surely they have some sort of responsibility to keep her safe?
I picked up the kids last week, he followed me too, but I could never prove it.

Yeah she reported dv before. Actually once he called polica and said she is trying to run away confused and they arrested him then bailed him without telling her so when we left for school he is just standing there on road talking crap at us.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Mon 17-Sep-12 17:45:30

Can she change the kids school?

nailak Mon 17-Sep-12 19:14:09

She is waiting for places.

crackcrackcrak Mon 17-Sep-12 19:56:17

If its a full non mol there is a power of arrest attached to every breach of it - this can be even a text message. Her case should be held by the local dv unit of the police.
It may be not a full injunction but something called an 'undertaking' where he must promise to abide by the rules of the non mol but there is no power of arrest only a recall to court if it is breached. I found women's aid website didn't cover this. You can end up with an undertaking as away of avoiding facing your abuser in court.

izzyizin Tue 18-Sep-12 00:47:57

Whether victims of dv get appropriate responses from the police can be a postcode lottery.

As for WA, they're not the panacea to all ills but I would have hoped that your would have got more support that she received from her call - but could it be that you called them rather than her?

I suggest that your friend - i.e not on you acting on her behalf - calls her local police on the non-emergency number and ask to make an appointment with an officer who specialises in domestic violence.

When attending the appointment your friend should take a copy of the non-mol and a record of all incidents prior to and after it was granted. If she does not feel she's being given sufficient reassurance that the police will take any further incidents seriously, she should make it clear that she will have no alternative but to refer the matter to her MP and possibly institute a formal complaint against the force.

It just ain't good enough, is it?

nailak Tue 18-Sep-12 09:40:47

Thanks for the advice.

Yeah I called women's aid, she didn't have landline phone to phone from.

I will advise her to make appointment with dv officer.


CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 18-Sep-12 09:59:08

I think she needs a new solicitor first and foremost. I also wonder if she needs someone to support her when she's talking to the solicitor, police and so on. If she's been subjected to abuse for a long time - and this is not a criticism of your friend - she may struggle with authority, find it difficult to express herself and so on. You're on MN getting information on her behalf, for example, you're calling WA .... is that purely because her comms are limited or are there other reasons?

He who shouts loudest gets the attention and I think you have to encourage her to keep shouting until she gets heard. She may find this difficult, may see it as selfish or something, but currently her ex is the one with the bigger voice... and that's not going well.

nailak Tue 18-Sep-12 10:29:31

I think she doesn't have confidence and lacks assertiveness.

She's never lived alone before, let alone had to deal with all finances, shopping etc, she is just finding her independence.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 18-Sep-12 10:39:00

If she's had many years of being steamrollered by an abusive partner, frightened to say boo, and made to keep her opinions and feelings under wraps she'll find it very difficult to stand up to the legal system, police, SS or whoever and get herself heard. Again, not a criticism of your friend but more a reflection of the way the world works. That's why she needs a new solicitor.... she hasn't got a voice at the moment and she needs someone to make a nuisance of themselves hollering long and loud on her behalf until they get the bastard properly restrained.

nailak Tue 18-Sep-12 21:43:39

thanks smile

izzyizin Tue 18-Sep-12 22:27:52

Other than his breaches of the injunction, does your friend have ongoing legal issues with her ex that her solicitor is handling - i.e divorce, custody proceedings?

If so, and if she is legally aided, it may not be as simple for her to change solicitors as it would be if she is footing the bill herself.

Before we rush to castigate your friend's present lawyer, it should be noted that s/he was successful in obtaining an injunction and it is not the remit of a solicitor to direct the police to carry out arrests, although of course a letter to the police on behalf of the client setting the record straight may not go amiss.

If your friend is not particularly forceful, it may be that the way she conveyed the incident in the park re the phone did not draw the solicitor's attention to the relevant point, or your friend may not have realised its significance until she spoke with you.

While it would be reassuring to think that every victim of domestic abuse is given a 'voice' to steam in on their behalf and kick whatever posteriors need to be given to get them off their arses, it can be the case that, as Cogito has alluded to, victims who don't do their own shouting don't get - the irony being that those victims who are assertive can be perceived as being anything other than a victim hmm

It occurred to me that as you called 'on behalf of a friend', the WA office you spoke to may have been somewhat diffident in giving you information. I would suggest you encourage your friend to call herself - maybe when you're with her? - as it could be that she will receive a more encouraging/proactive response than was accorded to you.

I would suggest that, if your friend is agreeable, you accompany her on her next visit to her solicitor and arrange an appointment for her to meet with a police officer from her local police force who works within its domestic violence unit and, again if she is agreeable, accompany her to that too.

Although you may not have specific expertise in the field of domestic violence, there's no reason why you can't be the voice of loud commonsense when/if accompanying your friend.

crackcrackcrak Tue 18-Sep-12 23:49:55

I imagine this kind of case is really hard going through legal aid. If you can pay a sol you can just call them up and instruct them whenever you need to - I do! Legal aid I assume you have to wait for appointments etc and wait it out. Within that limitation it must be v hard to carry in being strong and assertive.
You sound like a great friend op, maybe you can help her think of ways to make the most of the support she has like preparing for sol contact and writing everything down to make sure the sol k is everything that has gone on and what your friends instructions are. Maybe you can also supprt her to respond to the ex legal action too.
WA need to pull their finger out but perhaps you could suggest to your friend she gives them permission for you to talk to them on her behalf - if she thinks that might be helpful.

nailak Wed 19-Sep-12 00:27:37

yes there is the other stuff the solicitor is handling,

Womens Aid were very nice, this is not the fist time I called on her behalf, they took a lot of info, gave a reference number and just tols me to tell her to go CAB etc, I will try and get her to call, but I think she doesnt have faith in these organisations for some reason.

I will definitely tell her to make appointment with dv officer and go through the things like writing down what you want to say, making sure you read statement before solicitor sends it etc (she says she didnt see it for some reason?)

I think maybe she thinks her English is not good, but to me is fine, I dont have an issue understanding her at all. but maybe it is just in front of authority figures or something.

sometimes i get angry and want to tell my dh to go and beat him up but i dont.

izzyizin Wed 19-Sep-12 01:39:49

It could be that there are women's dv services that cater specifically for her nationality and she may be more comfortable and be more assertive if she is able to express herself in her first language.

If your friend is Asian it may well be that she is especially hesitant when confronted with 'authority'.

Google women's services for dv, victims of abuse etc to see if there is such an agency in your area and don't forget that the police can provide translators should need arise.

If you get back to Women's Aid, tell them that your friend has a solicitor and has no need of CAB but that she is in urgent need of an advocate who can facilitate more appropriate responses from the police than those which she's received to date.

nailak Wed 19-Sep-12 19:32:31

thanks smile

hadenoughofdv Mon 22-Oct-12 01:31:11

hi, i have been through the same and now i feel trapped in our home, i don't answer the door or my phone. i simply do the school run and go back home,i was arrested in august for "harrassing" my ex through txt, spent 10 hours away from my children treated like a criminal after ive been a victim of this man's torture fo 4 years! i have had my second injunction for 7 months now after being beaten whilst pregnant and threats to my life were made several of times, worst of all in front of my poor children. the injunction has no expiry date. my ex partner was watching my house 2 weeks ago i called police they arrested him and let him go NFA! because they cannot prove he was parked on my road although my injunction says he cannot come 100 metres near me or my home. he followed me and my children to school and thats where i called the police from. the police told me that my ex said he simply wanted to take the children to school! and they do not have any cctv camera on my road to prove. however he did not call to warn me he was coming instead watched my house and road until me and children left for school. the council will not move me and my children to a safe location because i have an injunction and the police are not bothered at all that he has breached it. me and my ex have been having contact issues for a while which he is meant to call my solicitor for, i arranged for him to see the children at a contact centre but he refused to go. then my grandmother told me she will mediate, she told me to txt him and tell him he can get the children from her house and bring them back the next day. my ex then went to the police station and said i have been "harrassing" him. the officer called me and said he complained to them. i need to get away from this house so he does not know where we live as his behaviour is out of character and i do not feel safe. im in bits over it all and the metropolitan police service cannot protect me and my children i feel isolated there is no help for me and hes making me out to be a liar and a bad parent becuse he has not seen our children in a while. everytime i get strong he breaks me down again mentally. all i have tried to do is be the best mother i can to my 3 children if you have any advice for me i'll be more than grateful! to all you women suffering from domestic violence do not suffer in silence if you get offered a refuge take it and whatever support you need! asking for help does not make you less of a woman but will simply save your life. i am glad im still here to tell the tale xxx

izzyizin Mon 22-Oct-12 02:22:36

May I suggest you copy and paste your above response into 'start new thread' (top left) and add a title, hadenough?

Although your situation may seem to have much in common with that of nail's friend, every case is unique and each deserves it's own thread.

If you are living in the area covered by the Met, I may be able point you in the direction of organisations that may take up your cause or advocate for you with the police.

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