what do I tell my sister? (not an emergency, more teeny-dating advice than anything)

[eandz]

Hi guys!


So background, I met my DH when I was 18 and we married out of Uni. I never really dated anyone else really and my DH asked me to marry him within 24 hours of meeting (He has Aspergers). So I have no wisdom when it comes to normal dating advice.

The problem: My husband and I were treated to tickets to a ball by our sisters respectively (his sister took him, and my sister took me). At this ball my sister met a very nice young man who took her number. He waited 48 hours to text her and invite her and her friends to the country for a picnic with his friends. He also asked her to bring me along. She then waited about 24 hours to text him back to let him know she would try and gather a few of her friends and check out my plans for the weekend. She didn't hear back today, so she sent another text asking if there was a facebook event page for the party or if she needed to buy tickets (to get clarification on the size and type of event it is). So all in all, he's sent her a personal text asking her to hang out in a far away location with her friends and sister--and she's sent him two texts regarding the event.

At this point, she's really freaking out about what to do, how to play it. (She's had one boyfriend who she was with for 2 years before they broke up, so she doesn't know if she's put him off or not). What do you lovely ladies suggest?

[britmodgirl]

In my opinion, ball is in his court now, she just needs to hold fire after 2 texts. He might be playing it super cool/ be crap at arranging stuff, after all he isnt disinterested if he initially text her. But if the worst happens and she hears no more, tell her to find a nice young man that puts her at ease so she doesnt have to panic about what to do x

[eandz]

but we're both so nervous! I can't help but join in her anxiety. What do you think we should do to stop checking the phone?

[britmodgirl]

Ah bless, do something nice together, watch tv, paint your nails. I feel your pain - I have waited long periods of time for guys to call, sometimes they do, sometimes they dont, all part of the fun. Being now older and wiser, if its meant to be, it'll happen.

[MooseLooseAbootThisHoose]

Don't contact him again. If he is interested he will be in touch. I know its not easy but just try to keep busy.

Sympathies to your sister ...dating sucks!

[eandz]

aww thanks girls. she's 21 so not exactly a teenager and still not experienced to know how to play it.

should we actually drive all the way to the other town to see him? it's a 2.5 hour drive and I'm not sure I can tell her positively if he's interested or if he wants to be friends. My instinct says he's more romantically inclined, but there has been no flirting as of yet...what does it all mean?

[britmodgirl]

I think if he invites you and her in an organised and definate manner and you both fancy going then go. He may want to be friends, he may be interested in more than this but over and above this go to enjoy yourselves and get to know him and then you'll find out more. When is the event organised for? how far apart do your sister and this guy live? Is facebook involved? are they friends on it?

I would want a definate invite, quickly responded to texts before I went anywhere.

[eandz]

So my sister and I live together. She helps my husband and I with our DS and in return she gets to live rent free. We live in London and this boy seems to be living close to Bristol...but wants to meet up on the coast. She did ask if there was a fb page for it and more info but he hasn't responded. He invited her to come with friends and myself (I'm assuming he knows I would bring my husband along if it's open to friends of my sister). They have not made friends with each other on FB. When we were all chatting on Friday he asked me a few times if I had FB or not, and I told him I didn't. Instead of asking my sister for her FB he asked her for her number...and then texted her on sunday. I feel all over the place and she is beside herself with whom to bring along and what to wear.

I do agree, if we don't hear back in a timely manner we wont be able to go. If we do sort it out, do you think it would be too ott if I brought along my dh and ds? I could sort out childcare.

[OrangeImperialGoldBlether]

I think this sounds mad, tbh! You're all planning to do a five hour return trip for this guy? What the hell? Why can't she text saying, "Sorry, can't make it. Let me know if you're ever in London and fancy a night out"?

[UnrequitedSkink]

Why are YOU getting all het up about it? Is her excitement catching? Is he Johnny Depp?! Trust me, if she's feeling desperate it will come across in her communication. You both need to CHILL OUT. If he's interested, he'll get back to you her.

[eandz]

It's true, I am getting too excited on her behalf. I'm just gushing with hope for her. He's pretty hot stuff actually, I think that's why I'm crazy desperate for her to be texted back.

I do think driving 2.5 hours for an afternoon is a bit much, but what else would I say to her about it? You don't think he would invite her to another town in hopes that she would say 'no' do you? She seems quite keen on him, and I'm quite keen for the two of them falling madly in love.

[eandz]

he texted! he texted! and told her he's been on call for the last 24 hours and will be on call all week. I have a feeling Saturday may be his only free day this week. I think.

[britmodgirl]

Cool, let us know what happens :)

[eandz]

they didn't end up meeting up but, he did message today to ask if she'd let him know about the next time something is going on...I don't know what that means.

[Lueji]

He wants her to invite him next time there's a party or something?

Maybe ask him when he is free next and she'll let him know?

[eandz]

good idea!

[eandz]

but should she wait till he messages her again? I'm wondering if she's seeming too eager?