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WWYD? Found condom...

(110 Posts)
NannyPlumBum Tue 04-Sep-12 19:27:25

Me and kids have been away for a few days visiting my family. We decided to come back a bit early, didn't tell DH, was supposed to be a surprise.
Went into bedroom. Condom wrapper on side, used condom in bedroom bin.
Porn DVD sorting out.

Confronted him. He denies sex with someone else, swore on kids lives, says he was watching porn by himself, is embarrassed, doesn't wish to discuss it.

I don't know what to believe.

Purplehonesty Tue 04-Sep-12 19:28:46

Why would he have used a condom by himself? That doesn't add up.....

BonkeyMollocks Tue 04-Sep-12 19:29:05

He used a condom on his own?

Do men really do that?

What does your gut say?

LaurieFairyCake Tue 04-Sep-12 19:29:10

I've never really believed the 'posh wank' stuff hmm

I would think he had sex, can you smell a female anywhere on the sheets?

needsomeperspective Tue 04-Sep-12 19:29:14

Why would he use a condom if alone? Sorry OP sounds highly suspicious if you ask me. I wouldn't be letting this one go in a hurry.

Houseofplain Tue 04-Sep-12 19:29:38

With the porn. I'd be inclined to think posh wank tbh.

cocolepew Tue 04-Sep-12 19:29:40

Sounds like he maybe wanked into the condom.

cocolepew Tue 04-Sep-12 19:30:09

Blimey xposts

TellyBug Tue 04-Sep-12 19:32:03

Yes, men do that. Posh wank. Give a guy a break.

NannyPlumBum Tue 04-Sep-12 19:32:59

Is that what's its called, a posh wank? Do people actually do that?

BonkeyMollocks Tue 04-Sep-12 19:33:37

Is that all he said OP ?

He had a wank and doesn't want to discuss it because he is embarrassed?

How did he say it?

Do you, as a couple, use condoms, or are they new?

akaemmafrost Tue 04-Sep-12 19:34:55

I would like to do a shout out to all the men on MN. Have YOU ever had a posh wank? I don't believe for a second that men do this.

Houseofplain Tue 04-Sep-12 19:35:25

Yep it's what it's called, and yep they do.

It's supposedly cleaner....obv amd can make them last longer. So I'm told. Dh thinks its bonkers. But I know a lot who admit to doing it.

msrisotto Tue 04-Sep-12 19:35:25

Posh wanks make no sense as the no. 1 reason that men don't like using them is because of reduced sensation.

PebblePots Tue 04-Sep-12 19:35:43

My dh says yes men do that!

msrisotto Tue 04-Sep-12 19:36:00

A lot? Really?

MolatovBomb Tue 04-Sep-12 19:36:06

I just asked my DH who said a reasonable explanation might be that he was worried about getting semen/ejaculate on bedsheets, etc. He does think, though, that it's suspicious.

I mean, are you okay with him masturbating? Is it an issue between you both?

For me, as I'm comfortable with DH's one-handed action in my absence, I'd KNOW that something was up.

NannyPlumBum Tue 04-Sep-12 19:36:38

The condoms were bought after DS was born before I got the implant as contraception, kept them in the drawer after that with the naughty DVDs.
That's all he's said - He's embarrassed, obviously had a wank, promises he didn't do anything with anybody else, end of discussion.

BonkeyMollocks Tue 04-Sep-12 19:36:42

Ok, I could understand a 'posh wank' if maybe you weren't alone in the house and wanted to keep it clean, but if you are alone then surely not! confused

izzyizin Tue 04-Sep-12 19:36:53

Tell him that if he's not willing to discuss it, you'll have no choice but to believe the worst and you'll be making an appointment with a solicitor with a view to divorcing him for adultery.

That said, if he'd had another woman in your bed he'd have to be remarkably stupid, or intent on causing you hurt, to have left the evidence in plain view.

Unless you returned home unexpectedly giving him only sufficient time to chuck the ow out the window or hide her in a wardrobe until he could smuggle her out of the house, it's probable that he indulged in a posh wank in order not to mess up the sheets which is not a big deal unless he happens to be addicted to porn to the extent that it's affecting your sex life.

Houseofplain Tue 04-Sep-12 19:37:09

Posh wanks make no sense as the no. 1 reason that men don't like using them is because of reduced sensation.

Precisely and the whole idea...is its not a quick thing....they want to last amd erm savour the moment.

I speak to too many men I think :s

TellyBug Tue 04-Sep-12 19:37:42

Maybe he didn't want to spunk all over the sheets.

Considerate.

PebblePots Tue 04-Sep-12 19:38:07

Because they don't need to worry about cleaning up & can bask in the moment. & it actually feels nice cos it's lubricated. So there you go! Learn something new every day!

CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake Tue 04-Sep-12 19:38:46

My husband said yes men often have posh wanks.

BonkeyMollocks Tue 04-Sep-12 19:39:08

What strikes me is that he says he is embarrassed.

Masturbation is a natural thing, are you both comfortable talking about it in your house?

Did you ask if he did anything with anyone else or did he bring it up?

I would be wondering why he wasn't talking to put my mind at rest!

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