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First ever one night stand - oh the shame...........

(42 Posts)
DLCC Tue 28-Aug-12 10:29:23

I’m not quite sure whether I’m looking for advice/a telling off or what really but I need to get this off my chest. I’m 40 years old, have two children, 8 and 3, I have been separated for 2.5 years. Since I separated from my husband I have dated two guys for 3 months each and that has been it. Anyway Friday night I went on a rare night out with girlfriends to a club with a hotel attached, as it was a fair way from home so myself and my friends decided to stay over, to cut a long story short I had a one night stand which I am in full on cringe mode about. I have never done it before and just feel awful. He was a nice guy, we stayed in his room and in the morning he was very affectionate and attentive, asked for my number (which I’m not even sure I gave him the right one as I was a tad hungover!) and said he’d meet me downstairs for coffee once I’d gone back to my room and showered etc. We did this for a couple of hours and it was ok, not sure he was totally my type in the cold light of day but nice enough. Said our goodbyes and that was it. I just feel really, really ashamed of myself. I’ve never done that before and feel totally crap about myself…..

TellyBug Tue 28-Aug-12 10:32:29

Don't feel ashamed! It sounds like you had a great time. Why do you want a telling off?

slartybartfast Tue 28-Aug-12 10:33:56

aw, good for you!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Tue 28-Aug-12 10:35:47

Don't feel ashamed at all.
Did you have a good evening - yes.
Did he behave like a decent human being after - Yes.
Do you need to feel ashamed - No.

Take it as a compliment, not as a reason to beat yourself up.

BellaOfTheBalls Tue 28-Aug-12 10:35:50

You don't need a telling off. You are both consenting adults and it sounds like you enjoyed yourself.

Don't beat yourself up. grin

gingerpig Tue 28-Aug-12 10:37:11

hmmmm. it sounds like you have a belief that 'nice girls' do not have one night stands.. is that correct?

LilBlondePessimist Tue 28-Aug-12 10:38:06

You're a big girl, and you're single so nothing to be ashamed of. I presume you took precautions, and your friends knew where you were so you were also safe. If it made you feel that bad then just don't do it again if you don't want to but you certainly did nothing wrong. Be kind to yourself. smile

DLCC Tue 28-Aug-12 10:39:04

Thanks for all the comments, you're right we were two consenting adults and it was a fun evening but gingerpig you could be right!!

slartybartfast Tue 28-Aug-12 10:39:08

see him again, if he rings and you gave him the correct number - then you wont feel like it was a one night stand! well it wont be

SPsFanjoSponsoredByFemFresh Tue 28-Aug-12 10:39:12

I'm jealous. I had my first night out in years last week and all I got was a dance! Not even a grope grin

You don't need to feel ashamed at all.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows Tue 28-Aug-12 10:40:47

No need to feel ashamed. You're a grown woman, who fancied a shag. No one got hurt, no one was lied to, no harm done smile

worldgonecrazy Tue 28-Aug-12 10:49:51

DLCC - why do you want telling off for enjoying yourself and being an adult who makes her own decisions? Give yourself a break, allow yourself the freedom to make choices, good and bad, and forgive yourself when the choices you make don't stack up to some ideal of "niceness".

Oii Ginger!! I'm a "nice girl" and I've had lots of one night stands. wink

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 28-Aug-12 10:50:18

Why feel ashamed? Two consenting unattached adults have a bunk-up and you left the next morning. No strings sex has its place and, following a long-term relationship, it's good to have a few love 'em and leave 'em experiences. Good for the old ego. Something to smile about on your death-bed.

Guiltypleasures001 Tue 28-Aug-12 10:54:07

next time give him one from us, then .....leave the bastard x

FussArse Tue 28-Aug-12 10:56:02

'Nice girls' definitely do smile

Remember those STDs though and be safe!

AnyFucker Tue 28-Aug-12 10:59:04

blimey, what have you to be ashamed of ?

you did use a condom though, yeah ?

dequoisagitil Tue 28-Aug-12 11:21:30

Nothing wrong here.

If alcohol was taken, that can make you feel crap the next day, not just a physical hangover but a psychological one of embarrassment/guilt/paranoia, even when you just had a good time.

DLCC Tue 28-Aug-12 11:32:44

Hahaha! thanks for the messages, I was safe yes so no worries there, some of the comments made me snort with laughter which is always a good look!!!

gingerpig Tue 28-Aug-12 11:36:33

i agree - nice girls definitely do! after all, look how nice you were to him wink

dranksinatra Tue 28-Aug-12 12:03:23

you go girl.

DLCC Tue 04-Sep-12 14:07:41

He text, wasn't expecting that! meant to be meeting up on the 18th....

mirry2 Tue 04-Sep-12 14:11:03

No longer a one night stand then grin

EdwardorEricCantDecide Tue 04-Sep-12 14:13:31

The only bad thing about this is that I'm feeling v envy sounds like a great night!

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 04-Sep-12 14:14:11

If he's not totally your type, why are you meeting up? Whole point of one night stands is that you don't have to see them again confused

Houseofplain Tue 04-Sep-12 14:16:11

Why ashamed?

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