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Would you get engaged if you were still married, but in the process of divorcing?

(62 Posts)
AnuvvaMuvva Fri 24-Aug-12 00:16:42

Well, would you? Do you know anyone who did?

Beckamaw Fri 24-Aug-12 00:21:49

Yep. Me!
I am still trying to get divorced!
Ex insisted on a separation agreement when I left the marital home. We had split a year previously and lived together while we sorted finances etc.
I bought a house and had to wait 2 years from date of agreement before filing. Only because ex would have made life bloody impossible if I had filed under other grounds - and his adultery had long 'expired'!
Then I met DP. We fell in love, I became pregnant and he proposed.
Once I am divorced, we will marry.

tribpot Fri 24-Aug-12 00:23:05

No. Incredibly poor taste, surely?

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 24-Aug-12 00:23:29

Yep, me. However, it was mainly because I am lazy and was separated, had an agreement, wasn't bothered. Only got divorced because I was getting married again.

izzyizin Fri 24-Aug-12 00:23:48

I certainly wouldn't and I don't know of anyone who would or did get engaged to another party while still legally bound in marriage to another, but no doubt this is not uncommon in polygamous societies.

Krumbum Fri 24-Aug-12 00:24:22

No, I wouldn't see the point. Just wait.

ItsAPileOfBalls Fri 24-Aug-12 00:24:45

I did. What do you want to know?

TodaysAGoodDay Fri 24-Aug-12 00:25:01

No! Once divorced, never again! Ever! However I know people do this, but I wouldn't.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 24-Aug-12 00:25:07

People can be separated for years, decades and not bother getting the actual divorce.

stuffitunderthebed Fri 24-Aug-12 00:26:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twonker Fri 24-Aug-12 00:27:25

What and make the same mistake twice?

manic4boys Fri 24-Aug-12 00:30:06

I did. Mainly because I had agreed to divorce on the grounds of 'living separately for two years'.

HerRoyalNotness Fri 24-Aug-12 00:30:30

DH did to me. Engaged I mean while waiting for a divorce. Just timing of when you meet people I suppose.

My Mum did to her H, he'd been separated and living apart for 5years, and was going to give the "kids" one more xmas before telling them about the engagement and filing for divorce. Unfortunately their DM was diagnosed with cancer and died 6wks later.

Kaliani Fri 24-Aug-12 00:31:34

I did - got engaged on Christmas Day last year, my decree absolute didnt come through till the end of January

ItsAPileOfBalls Fri 24-Aug-12 00:34:39

I was married to a complete moron for ten years. Met another man- he proposed within 2 weeks. I said 'yes' (insane I know) but I divorced the moron and am still with the idiot grin 15 years and 2 bairns later

Athendof Fri 24-Aug-12 00:38:08

No, never before the separation of assets is ended. You can get enegaged and keep your mouth shut about it but it removes the thrill of telling everyone and get all the congratulations. I would wait.

AnuvvaMuvva Fri 24-Aug-12 00:38:12

Doesn't it affect the legalties of the divorce Consent Order, though? Can the soon-to-be Ex-H get more money..?

And what about the engagement itself - could you tell people, or did you feel you had to keep it secret until you were legally divorced?

AnuvvaMuvva Fri 24-Aug-12 00:38:53

Ah - x-post with Athendof

Krumbum Fri 24-Aug-12 00:40:53

And people claim gay couples ruin the sanctity of marriage pfft!

AnuvvaMuvva Fri 24-Aug-12 00:49:11

My BF is taking me away very soon and I think he's going to propose. smile I'd marry him tomorrow, he's wonderful. But I'm still only at the Decree Nisi stage with XH and - much as I want to be engaged to lovely BF, I'm scared it'd ruin it. Like...

"So DH2, how did you two get married?"

"Well, I took her away and proposed in this fabulous sea-front restaurant and she cried and I cried and it was amazing... And then we kept it a secret as she was still married to her first husband, so she could never wear the ring in case her kids saw it and told him. And then she finally got the divorce and so we told everyone! But then she felt she needed to have some time just being single again for a while, not rush into anything - you know? So we did that and it was a bit awkward. But then she felt ready so we went away again and I proposed again, but I was older this time so my knee really started to hurt the second time and maybe I rushed through it. She didn't look happy, anyway. But yes, THEN we were officially engaged and she could wear her ring (the new ring, she didn't feel happy with her old ring because of all the furtiveness). (Plus she'd gained a lot of weight.) (We were both 60 by this point.) And then we got married, and immediately her ex-H applied for 100% of the marital home's equity and now we live in a shed."


Athendof Fri 24-Aug-12 00:49:16

Yes, the soon to be ex might end up having a claim to get a highest percentage of the assets because if one of the parties is by then engaged the assets of the new fiance will also be considered.

Proudnscary Fri 24-Aug-12 08:02:34

No I wouldn't.

It's confusing and upsetting enough for children when they're parents are going through a divorce - then asking them to be happy and congratulatory or at least accept a new man in their lives permanently at that stage...No. Or even worse asking them to keep it a secret or keeping it a secret from them? No, no, no.

AnyFucker Fri 24-Aug-12 08:04:13

why would you ? confused

juneau Fri 24-Aug-12 08:06:50

No, I wouldn't. Get your divorce sorted out and THEN get engaged.

floranora Fri 24-Aug-12 08:07:36

yes we have. my DP is currently divorcing his ex. they have been seperated for 3yrs, but not got round to divorcing. So we are now engaged and his divorce is jsut going through now!

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