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I've gone into complete panic mode. Verging on hibernation mode. Please help.

(1000 Posts)
JackieandJudy Sun 15-Jul-12 15:39:00

Dh is ill, and has been since just after we met. Over the years we've had so much to deal with, and I think it would be fair to say that I have dealt with most of it reasonably well (I'm generally ok at coping when things are going wrong, it's usually afterwards I have a bit of a wobble).

The situation is slightly different this time in that, instead of finding ourselves in the middle of an emergency, he has a planned operation coming up for next Monday. And I'm so bloody scared. The odds we have been given are not good. I can't stop thinking about Monday and am constantly doing the "what if ...?" thing. The elder dc know it's serious stuff coming up and are scared themselves, hence are looking to us for guidance and reassurance. I've tried but today I'm all out of trying and have locked myself in the bedroom. Smallest dc knows Dad has to go to hospital but is oblivious of the wider implications.

I'm shaking constantly. I keep crying at random moments (yes, that was me in Sainsbury's who cried when I dropped the apples!), I can't do this for another week. But I have to. I don't want to talk to rl friends as I will cry and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me anyway.

But I'm happy to listen if any of you lovely ladies have any ways to help me get through this week, and possibly after. sad

lazarusb Sat 01-Dec-12 17:34:42

Just popping to say hello and that I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend, no matter what may be going on in their lives. Hope you're ok fool.

I still haven't heard from SW re:her address...

JackieandJudy Tue 04-Dec-12 08:28:37

Hi lovely ladies, so sorry to be absent for so long - just jumping on now in the ten minutes before to do the school run. I do think of you all the time, despite prolonged absences. Life has been so busy - both dh and I, and my two best friends have had birthdays since I last posted, and although we didn't do anything spectacular, the time just seems to have gone. I am panicking about Christmas (but I always do) - I was one of the millions who made yesterday into the "mega Monday" it apparently was!

So glad to see you all and good to hear all the news. I also managed to break my laptop which is another reason I've been absent - guess I know what Santa will have to bring me. Lazarus sent me her lovely pudding, and although we obviously haven't eaten it yet, it looks divine. We made a donation to the renal unit where dh has most of his treatment since Laz wouldn't let me give her any money! Dh is still doing really well, although yesterday he woke up with a cold, and has been up all night - he wasn't allowed to have a flu jab this year because of the heart issues, so am slightly worried, but sure all will be well.

Have to go - kids seem keen to get to school for some reason - most unusual! Really will try to be back soon but please be assured your names are all familiar visitors in my head, and my thoughts turn here often!

lazarusb Wed 05-Dec-12 16:47:44

Hi J and J, that's very sweet but it really is only a pudding blush I hope dh's cold isn't too bad and he is taking it easy.

Have you had snow up there? The 1cm of snow that fell in Canterbury today was enough to warrant the cancelling of trains and it took me nearly 5 hours to get home! (not even 50 miles) grrr...wondering if I'll get in at all tomorrow!

lazarusb Sat 08-Dec-12 09:38:06

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. We're only 20ish posts off a 1000!

dondon33 Sat 08-Dec-12 12:25:02

Nice to hear from you JandJ, don't worry or apologise for not checking in very often - it's lovely to read that your life is returning to a hectic normality smile and we're all still here and happy to hear from you when you can grab a few mins.
Mmm xmas pud, just Mmm!

I see the UK is expecting some serious winter weather next week, wrap up warm people and stay safe xxx

Lazarus - it always amazes me in the UK, the devastating and disruptive effect a few cms of snow has. I remember, a few winters ago, sending a parcel from Newcastle to Dumfries 1st class and it took 10 days shock 10 days!!! of course the bad weather was to blame.
Here in Eastern Europe winter is starting to release it's brutality, it's been snowing all of last week and the temps have stayed between -6 and -1 with an icy wind but next week it's going to start really kicking ass - -15 sad then continue dropping. Luckily or maybe not I've been here before in Winter so I'm prepared when it reaches -30 in January and February.

Have a good weekend all x

AutumnNowBleakMidwinter Sat 08-Dec-12 20:59:45

Lovely to hear from you J. Despite all the worries and fears of the past months, you will all be together for a family Christmas. Make sure they lend a helping hand!

No snow here in the North West, although the daft, smiley weather girl keeps threatening. -30 degrees Dondon, I`d never survive!!!!

Laz, I haven`t heard from SW either. She was sorting out my square for me. I hope she`s OK. She does take on rather a lot.

dondon33 Sun 09-Dec-12 10:14:54

Hi Autumn - I thought that too before I came here for my first winter, I was really scared of such temps.
It is like NOTHING I've ever felt before but I managed due to the quantity of clothes piled on to venture outside, everywhere has to be covered or it feels like a burning effect on the face - TMI = you know sometimes when it's cold n your nose waters, it's not snots, just water? well that will turn to ice in less than a minute shock
I just keep telling myself it's good for the skin, have you seen how many eastern Euro women (especially) have fab skin - there's got to be something in my theory bullsh** most likely ha

lazarusb Sun 09-Dec-12 11:29:00

dondon - I admire you immensely. I don't like the cold (I haven't even fattened myself up for the winter this year grin). But it's frustrating that such a tiny amount of snow has such a widespread effect. Luckily I only have to go in once this week when I've finished my latest assignment. Hoping to make it there and back in 5 hours so I can do both ends of the school run. (Mind you, I have now ordered some thermal long johns as my legs and feet were bright red even after a shower). I'm a wimp aren't I?! blush

Autumn I think SW's friend in the other place has left so SW has had to take up the slack. I have PMed her so hopefully she'll be in touch as soon as she has a bit of time. Quite mild weather wise down here at the moment...

dondon33 Sun 09-Dec-12 15:22:03

Hi Lazarus why thank you kind lady blush Good news about the trips to Uni, especially in winter. No you're not a wimp! believe me I don't like the cold neither but I've just gotta get on with it Hmph!!! (big resigned to fact smiley)

Funny you should mention the weight thing haha, I've lost a bit weight since last winter (around 7kilos) and I'm really feeling the difference in the cold, not enough meat on my freezing bones. I may have to work on that one, I'm very fluent in my foreign language at the local cake shop grin and at the food dept in M&S.

I miss Primark in the winter, cheap winter clothes, underwear and PJ's. We don't have one here, with no plans to open one. The nearest is a 6 hour drive to Berlin. I do have a TK maxx, H&M and New Look but it's not the same.

Oh thermals, I'll have to buy some, I'm using tights or leggings under everything at the moment. For me the worst is my feet or hands being icy - I could honestly cry sometimes, my bum also seems to like dropping to the temp of a freezer, hence the tights. I had actually been seriously thinking of a way I could manage to carry off/disguise those mini little hot water bottles in my trousers somewhere but up to now it's not looking good or should that be - not a good look smile

AutumnNowBleakMidwinter Sun 09-Dec-12 16:49:49

Dondon, Have you seen the battery operated gloves? I haven`t tried them, but a friend of mine who has severe arthritis in her hands, swears by them. I think she got them from Amazon. Maybe they do socks too. I`ve lost 3 stones 3lbs - sorry, can only do old money! - and naturally I`m pleased with myself you I`m missing me padding! Ah, Primark is wonderful! The trouble is my house is starting to look like Primark and TK Maxx all rolled into one. I`ve treated myself to some lovely stuff, well I had to having lost the weight didn`t I? However, I`ve not got around to sorting out all the old stuff, of which there is a lot!! I`m thinking maybe Ebay, and make a few bob.

Laz, if you are in touch with J, maybe you could remind her that she will need to start a new thread. If she wants too, of course. I truly hope she does. I think this is one of the most caring that there is, where everyone`s contribution is acknowledged.x.

dondon33 Sun 09-Dec-12 17:34:30

Wow! well done on the weight loss Autumn that's fab. (7 kilo's is roughly 1 stone) I only use it as my euro scales don't do stones. I know what it's like losing such a big amount as I done it a few years back and had to replace everything - it's a great feeling but bloody expensive smile I was literally half my previous dress size at one point.
Of course you had to treat yourself - well deserved after all the hard work. Ebaying your old clothes is good, it will give you a few pennies for the Jan sales in the bank.
Hmmm Primarni n TK Maxx house sounds like a dream to me.
Ooh! I must check out these battery operated gloves.... and put them on my ever increasing xmas list.
Oh thought of another cold area that I could cry over - Nipsblush !!! I'm not really THAT familiar with any native women yet to ask what they use (if anything) to keep theirs warm, I'm thinking fur lined bra or something cotton wool doesn't bloody work I'll have someone's eye out one of these days if they walk into me from the wrong angle.

lazarusb Mon 10-Dec-12 10:17:10

dondon - maybe a quilt lined bra with a miniature electric blanket inbuilt? grin

Autumn - I will PM J & J and let her know we are close to bursting! I love the idea of battery operated gloves/socks/trousers/hats....yep, I REALLY don't like being cold! I've lost a stone and a half and am now just under my ideal weight, not enough to go down a dress size according to my hips though! hmm

foolonthehill Mon 10-Dec-12 12:24:58

My heating has been broken since last Thursday sad <-----not sad just blooming freezing!! The children and I are now seriously fed up!

Am considering buying battery powered anything to get warm again...except i can't go to the shop as I have to wait in (again) for the plumber,,,brrrrrrrrrrr

much love to you all

lazarusb Mon 10-Dec-12 14:28:21

fool - you have my sympathy. We had a gas leak and so no heating from 13th - 16th January one year (my Granddad's funeral was on the 14th just to cap it!). I could have kissed the gas man who dug up our floor, fixed the pipe and refilled the concrete! Get heavy with the plumber and demand his attention now. Especially as the weather is due to get colder this week...

Homebird8 Tue 11-Dec-12 09:07:28

Oh you poor old cold people. It's something I just don't cope we'll with, being cold. At last, living in Auckland, NZ we don't really get cold. A couple of nights last winter we had the barest minimum of a frost and everyone got really excited. It was still 10 degrees by mid morning though so nothing to write home about.

The patches have started me off on a sewing spree. I've been making the DSs camp blankets with holes for their heads and big patches with their names on sewn on. I hope they like them. I've used that furry fleece stuff and it's really static-y so if any of you hear the snapping of electricity on Christmas morning it'll be my boys all the way across the oceans.

Glad things are getting a bit more normal J&J and I hope DH's cold is soon gone. I'm sure that pudding will build him up for the new year when he gets to sample it at Christmas.

I'm sending Summery thoughts for all the snowy folks out there and if SW is finding time to read then especial strength for her busy and loving heart.

Oh, and the foot is nearly better. I'm finally out of the moon boot! Yippee! grin

lazarusb Tue 11-Dec-12 09:41:38

Homebird - Great to hear from you! So glad the foot is improving - very jealous of your mild weather!

I love the idea of hearing static from NZ on Christmas morning grin

If this thread does end and J and J starts a new one, perhaps we should PM all the regulars here and let them know? Or maybe I'm taking liberties...Just thought that if anyone wants to check in and this is over, they'll need a new title to look for.

dondon33 Tue 11-Dec-12 19:33:20

Hi homebird great news about the moon boot wink and thank you for the summery thoughts, very much appreciated at this minus 15 freezing moment.

That bra sounds like a dream Lazarus, in fact anything does and anything would be a big improvement to actually having to thaw out your nipples when you enter a warm house, I usually choose the fastest option of a hot water bottle across my chest but I do eye up the radiator now and again wondering if it would give a quicker effect with my boobs strategically placed on it smile

Homebird8 Wed 12-Dec-12 09:00:06

Lazarus I don't think you're taking liberties at all and I hope J&J agrees. She drew us together and together we've made the best of hard times and celebrated the small and ENORMOUS victories along the way. I for one have got so much out of the support on this thread and would be really sad to see us lose each other for the sake of not wanting to say so.

J&J I would love you to feel that your bunch of misfits who gathered themselves sometimes through significant inebriation would still be there for you and I for one love to hear of the progress of all your DFamily.

From DS going off to uni to Dr Hero, from canine and equine friends to LN (as little boys are not that different from pets!), from DH's struggles with health issues to several people's struggles with sewing - this is your thread J&J and we are the stuff it is made of. Your fortitude is extraordinary and an inspiration. If there is to be another thread you could do far worse than use Hope on a Rope in the title. thanks

AutumnNowBleakMidwinter Wed 12-Dec-12 10:25:34

I second that title Homebird, and as I said previously, I really hope J starts a new thread, and by all means alert the other regulars Laz. I come on here, and never fail to go away smiling, and with a sense of peace and hope.

I`m off this afternoon to see my neighbours little one, Chloe aged four, in her Nativity Play. It aways takes me back to when my boys were little - men now, and many miles away, although very close to me, in every way that matters. I remember when my younger son`s little friend was the innkeeper, and when Joseph asked if there was room at the inn, instead of saying no, he replied "Aye come in". It brought the house down, and he could have changed the whole course of religious history with those three little words.

Fool, I hope you`re heating is sorted, and Dondon has found an answer to her nipple problem! Keep wrapped up everyone.......Much love.

lazarusb Wed 12-Dec-12 12:32:56're all very sweet. I will PM people as when we have a new title.

Homebird - I think Hope on a Rope would be an excellent title. There has been a lot of hope and love on this thread and I look forward to checking in every day smile

dondon - I have your solution (I'm not going to describe it as perfect for obvious reasons)wink know those mittens that are connected by a string of wool? Well, two hot water bottles connected by wool that rest over your nipples! Problem solved and you will invite cuddles from everyone you meet! grin
Like I said, not perfect!

Autumn I know what you mean, this thread feels safe and warm and I like it very much. There's been some ups and downs but hopefully things are improving for everyone. Enjoy the nativity play, they always make me cry blush

Fool I hope you are all warmer now and snug. Take care of yourself.

foolonthehill Wed 12-Dec-12 19:22:52

Thank you...heating was switched on today !!!! finally.

dondon33 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:22:49

Autumn The nips are still a hazard, thanks for thinking of them though smile

Lazarus Hmm! sounds like a plan worth investigating smile

fool Glad your warm now x

Midwife99 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:16:47

J&J - I've been lurking all thread but just wanted to say before you reach the magic 1000 how wonderfully brave you have been & hope you, your DH & DCs have a wonderful Christmas together! smile

foolonthehill Thu 13-Dec-12 08:42:30

And today the pipes have burst sad
sometimes you just wonder ?????WHY???????

Jand J may you be protected form all seasonal ills and misfortunes and enjoy the run up to Christmas.

with love

AutumnNowBleakMidwinter Thu 13-Dec-12 12:15:54

Oh Fool, I`m so sorry. I had this problem two years ago, during the really bad winter, and it still haunts me. I have a long, slightly sloping driveway at the side of my house, then the garage and an outside loo. I didn`t venture out there because of thick ice. When I finally did, it was to find pipes had burst, and water had been pouring away, for God knows how long. Because I have a water meter, I was responsible for all the waste water. I received a bill for £700!!! I really hope you get it sorted quickly, with no more mishaps.

Like Fool, I wish everyone a hassle free run up to Christmas......Much love.

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