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I've gone into complete panic mode. Verging on hibernation mode. Please help.

(1000 Posts)
JackieandJudy Sun 15-Jul-12 15:39:00

Dh is ill, and has been since just after we met. Over the years we've had so much to deal with, and I think it would be fair to say that I have dealt with most of it reasonably well (I'm generally ok at coping when things are going wrong, it's usually afterwards I have a bit of a wobble).

The situation is slightly different this time in that, instead of finding ourselves in the middle of an emergency, he has a planned operation coming up for next Monday. And I'm so bloody scared. The odds we have been given are not good. I can't stop thinking about Monday and am constantly doing the "what if ...?" thing. The elder dc know it's serious stuff coming up and are scared themselves, hence are looking to us for guidance and reassurance. I've tried but today I'm all out of trying and have locked myself in the bedroom. Smallest dc knows Dad has to go to hospital but is oblivious of the wider implications.

I'm shaking constantly. I keep crying at random moments (yes, that was me in Sainsbury's who cried when I dropped the apples!), I can't do this for another week. But I have to. I don't want to talk to rl friends as I will cry and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me anyway.

But I'm happy to listen if any of you lovely ladies have any ways to help me get through this week, and possibly after. sad

dondon33 Fri 16-Nov-12 20:07:08

I'm also hoping SW is ok - maybe she's lost internet connection somehow???
Hope your fine and dandy SadWidow xxx

shock smile So long as you 'look' with your eyes and not your hands Lazarus smile
Seriously, I think it's just human nature that we click with/find attractive the odd person in however many, don't worry there's nothing wrong with it and is usually very short lived.

lazarusb Sat 17-Nov-12 10:29:35

Thank you dondon! I certainly won't be looking with my hands! In fact, my seminars for that module have finished now so I should get over it very soon grin It's just very unexpected, he's not even what I would normally go for...he reminds me of a baby rabbit hmm...anyway, I should really take this opportunity to go cold turkey (and hope he isn't teaching any of my modules next year!). Poor dh - he's very disgruntled!

lazarusb Sun 18-Nov-12 19:15:51

SW still seems to be keeping a low square is ready to send but I don't have her address. Has anyone seen her anywhere else recently? Still no answer from the other place either...I hope she is ok.

Hope everyone has had a nice weekend. Dh pretended to have a heart attack last sunday evening so I'm hoping tonight will be quieter! It was a gastric issue apparently. Maybe I just don't give him enough attention! wink

dondon33 Tue 20-Nov-12 01:16:28

PMSL @ 'pretended' to have a heart attack smile

Yes I'm sure the novelty will wear off your 'baby rabbit' aww how cute smile now you hopefully won't be seeing him so much.

SW- if you're reading but not replying for whatever reason, maybe just need a break from the wonderful advice you give or just need some you time, please give us a little signal - you don't have to speak if your not up to it, just something. I'm hoping your ok xxxx

lazarusb Tue 20-Nov-12 21:32:54

Thanks again dondon. Actually the 1000 word essay plan I had to do for him this week has shrivelled the flame quite dramatically! grin

Yes, after dh was diagnosed with his gastric problem, the Dr gave him 3 doses of Gaviscon to take...of course, because he's a man, he took one and decided to ride the rest of the pain out! hmm I was not impressed considering he'd frightened the children and his parents (and me) while it was going on!

sadwidow28 Fri 23-Nov-12 00:44:48

Whoop! I found you again!

Are you all okay?

I am getting patches arriving through my letter box!


Are we all still up for making the quilt of love? If I lose you again - will one of you come to the other place and tell me what this link is please.

Fank U

sadwidow28 Fri 23-Nov-12 00:51:03

If you want to see pictures of the Patches of Love, we are uploading in 'the other place'. Homebird's patch is stunning and we are having a drum roll in the other place because the boys helped to stitch it.

The stitching is so good that my Ringo boy is sending some Cadbury chocolate all the way to the other side of the world to reward the boys (with Homebirds permission of course).

sadwidow28 Fri 23-Nov-12 01:02:38

So what have I been up to whilst I couldn't find you:

I have
- crocheted 26 kitty blankets (I nearly lost the will to live)
- made 3 Patches of love for our quilt
- Started a new Christmas fund for an animal sanctuary
- nearly adopted a 5 year old border collie (but am working with Chaldon to get him a better home)
- booked a cottage for Christmas and New Year for my Ringo boy to have the best Celebration ever (he's 13.5 years old now so time is running out)

I'll read back now and see if JandJ has been around.

Homebird8 Fri 23-Nov-12 04:06:27

Hooray for finding us again SadWidow! Glad you seem your cheery self. I was getting a tad bothered about you!

I'm also really pleased that my patch arrived safely and if my boys can give with love then who am I to get in the way of them receiving with love smile though you really don't need to. I must pop to the Other Place to take a look. Haven't been there for a week or two.

Good news on the foot front. DH has been told he officially doesn't have to wear his moon boot anymore but it could take another 3 months to get as good as it's going to. I managed three or four steps in my boot today, without crutches, so I think I may be on the mend too. I'm just hoping to be able to walk for Christmas.

Getting all geared up here. We bought an entire shop full of decorations last weekend to help all the UK family to feel Christmassy in the summer sunshine. Pudding and cake are being made this weekend (fruit has been soaking all week). DPIL and DBIL, DSIL, and 2 DNieces arrive mid December until mid Jan with my DF and STBDSM arriving the day the others leave, to stay until end Feb. I think it's going to be a busy Summer grin

I think we may all have to sample the odd Hope on a Rope! J&J, you have mixed one for DH haven't you? I'm sure it won't clash with any drug regime much! wine

lazarusb Fri 23-Nov-12 13:53:15

Hello everyone, just calling in to wish you all a good weekend smile

Nice to see you back SW, I think we were all a bit concerned but I can see that you've been very busy! My patch is ready to be sent but I need your address. Could you PM it to me please? It turned out to be an effort involving dd and my mum too (mainly they had to rescue me!).

Homebird - glad to hear your respective feet are improving well. J and J got my pudding this week. She did PM me, she is very busy but things are continuing to improve. She is hoping to post soon!

I think we will be consuming much Hope on a Rope this New Year...we are holing up in a cottage in the middle of nowhere on Exmoor - can't wait!

sadwidow28 Fri 23-Nov-12 14:14:42

Ringo and I are going back to the cottage in Saltburn-by-the-sea for Christmas and New Year.

We don't mind if we get snowed in - it will peace and quiet for 10 days. We are taking Ringo's Uncle Frank with us (he is the friend recovering from a major stroke - and doing so exceptionally well!) Ringo adores him - and Uncle Frank adores the Ringo dog.

Saltburn is about 20 minutes from my family in the NE. I will be close enough - but yet far enough from them.

lazarusb Sat 24-Nov-12 13:56:16

SW - Please could you PM me your address? I really want to get my square in the post before the Christmas mail rush starts! smile

dondon33 Sat 24-Nov-12 14:24:31

Hi! SW nice to see you, sounds like you've been really busy. Ah Saltburn smile brings back childhood memories for me, such a lovely little place, I come from a small colliery village some 30/40 mins north of Saltburn. I wonder is the old wooden pier there still in existence? I hope you have a lovely time.

HB- good news about both feet smile Hoping you both continue to improve. It sounds like you're in for a very busy hectic time but it will be lovely with so many family members around.

LAZ- Thanks for the JandJ update - good news about her Dh's continued improvement. The NY cottage sounds like heaven - middle of nowhere = bliss.

I'm in awe of you all, other than to rescue clothes or not as is the usual case lol I can't sew for toffee, no scrap that it doesn't quite touch my abysmal ability, I can't do it even if someone paid me millions sad and I certainly don't have any imagine in order to create anything sad sad feels sorry for myself now and sulks out of the room

Hope you all have a good weekend xxxx

dondon33 Sat 24-Nov-12 14:27:14

** of course that should have said
I certainly don't have any imagination in order to create anything.

woke up late and not enough coffee yet

Homebird8 Sat 24-Nov-12 19:56:04

No imagination either Dondon. I did however have a mother who sewed a lot and four decades of exposure rubbed off on me! I'm passable, but that's it!

Tackling the camp blankets I'm making for the DSs for Christmas today, whilst DH takes them to the the Santa Parade in Auckland. Definitely a day for factor 50 sunblock.

lazarusb Sun 25-Nov-12 12:31:57

Trust me, my sewing 'skills' leave a HUGE amount to be desired! grin I decided a long time ago that I'm one of those people who are passable at most things but I've never been REALLY good at anything in my life!

lazarusb Sun 25-Nov-12 12:33:25

Homebird- I'm incredibly jealous of your weather envy I dislike the grey, damp, British winter so, so much!

lazarusb Sun 25-Nov-12 17:07:52

Me again - sorry, I just wanted to share this with you! Dh went out today to buy some stocking fillers for the children. They both like bath bombs and there is a lovely 'smelly' shop in the Old Town so he headed there. He came home with 2 snowmen head bath bombs...which, at first sight looked ideal.

However, I noticed that they are labelled 'Chilly Willies'...and the carrot nose is actually a penis! grin He is now undecided as to whether we put them in their stockings and hope they don't notice! He has suggested I give them to my friends instead - I don't normally give that kind of present to my friends! grin

Anyway, hope you all find that as amusing as I did, he really is quite innocent! smile

foolonthehill Sun 25-Nov-12 20:38:08

hi, been off MN for a while as RL a bit tricky here.

jand J have continued to think of you, and all you lovely ladies. the patches look great.

I may not be around much, but I am still full of awe and smile for the care and love on this thread.

All power to all of you.

Homebird8 Mon 26-Nov-12 09:26:12

Oh Lazarus. I think even a snowman would blush. The DCs would notice for definite and probably report you to the taste police if not the whole family. Your friends, on receipt of a gift like that, may also think they had misjudged your relationship!

I suggest you and DH have some pamper time in the bath and, when you next send him out to help Santa's elves, you send him with some specs!

lazarusb Mon 26-Nov-12 09:51:15

Fool- nice to hear form you again smile I hope you are ok and hanging on in there!

Homebird - In dh's defence, it isn't that obvious...but now I know we can't realistically give them to the children! I think we will have to use them ourselves as you say! grin Bless him...he thought they were so cute!

Homebird8 Mon 26-Nov-12 18:21:26

Hi Fool, so glad to hear from you. It sounds like RL has been a bit tricky for you. Sending you some calm and patience and strength to deal. We're still here.

foolonthehill Tue 27-Nov-12 10:03:32

Following the success of our virtual barge trip on the Nene, may I suggest a small boat cruise?.as it is virtual I will supply appropriate weather conditions to take in the Fjords of Norway and it's islands with plenty of opportunity to marvel at the northern lights, take large gulps of fresh air and take in the silence.

northern lights

dondon33 Tue 27-Nov-12 22:11:15

Hi Fool, nice to see you smile hope all is OK xx and YES I'M IN for the trip don't care where just take me please.

PMSL - Sorry Lazarusb. Poor dh but the intention was right though bless him. I'm with HB - you've got to use them because WHEN dc notice come Xmas morning darling dh will be in for a ribbing from friends and family and whoever else dc chose to tell for the rest of his life smile

lazarusb Tue 27-Nov-12 22:18:36

Hi dondon - I know, it has the potential to be the kind of story that is mentioned every Christmas wink I'm very tempted!

fool - that picture is wonderful, thank you for posting it. I've always wanted to see the northern lights in RL but my aversion to cold weather may preclude that ever happening (and money of course...grin). Take care of yourself, you're among friends here.

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