Am I the only person to feel lonley?

[slipperandpjsmum]

My dh is working all weekend and I am at home with our dcs.

I wanted to meet up with someone but the people I do know all have plans with their families. I feel like this every holiday, as though I am the only person in the world who struggles for company.

I read other threads about people's families wanting to be round all the time and would love to swap. My Mum is disabled and her health is fading, my sister has no children and is away every bank hol doing something relaxing in a hotel somewhere and we are not close. I have no other family.

Do you ever take a step back from your life and think how did I get here?

I don't want to come across like I am moaning but holidays make things feel worst as it reinforces my feeling that its just me.

[amillionyears]

There are many others like you.A MN phrase is something along the lines of, and this will pass.Though sorry about your family set up.
If you are not visiting your mum today, could you visit a sick person, though may not be practical with dcs, go to the park, to church where you can speak to adults and there should be other dcs, invite a neighbour round?
Speak to other MNs on the locals board?
Other posters will probably be along later to keep you company, and with more advice.

[CJ2010]

Being at home alone with the DC's can feel very isolating and lonely, never mind hard work! How about this wknd you take the kids out and gave some fun?

Long term - I would say join a group / exercise class and try to get out there and meet people. If your sister is very busy, book her up in advance so that you can do something fun with her or just Invite her over for a meal. Can your mum come over for a meal too? She must get lonely as well.

[doormat]

agree with cj..motherhood can sometimes be very isolating...but you are not alone....what i would suggest is if others are feeling this way and live in your local area, maybe they could private msg you for a meet up for a play in local park, sandwich in a cafe etc...you never know but good relationships can build up through loneliness xxx

[WMDinthekitchen]

slippers - similar here. No bro or sis, both parents dead. Much older cousins live at a long distance. I have friends who see their families on these holiday weekends. I am in a different situation from you as my youngest is 17 years, and we live in a city with galleries, museums, theatres, cinemas, all of which I can now enjoy on my own or in company. When my children were small I did sometimes feel isolated (DH worked away and slept or went to football at weekends). This is a difficult one for you. I used to take my children out a lot - parks, swimming, walks, festivals to avoid being endlessly in the house. Hope you can perhaps find others in your situation.

[slipperandpjsmum]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies.

My Mums comes round a lot and I am there as I provide care for her. Its quite stressful being with her as she is not at all well.

I work ft and commute 10 hrs a week but you are all right I need to make the time to do something about how I am feeling. Its just with working I feel guilty if I have me time as think I should be with my dcs. Maybe because my life has been so full of other stuff this is how I have ended up here.

[amillionyears]

You do need some me time to help you to cope with everything including your dcs.Enjoy your me time when you are able to get some.

[WhippingGirl]

This is me as well. Pre divorce do was away working. Now it's the same. I have nice friends who I see in the week but I struggle most weekends. I've if my duress has two close siblings and the family go on days out all the time together. I am so envious :-(
I think I need a lone parent friend!

[amillionyears]

I do sometimes envisage, how nice it would be , if say, in each town,there was say a meet up point, where people who had a few hours free on a given day, could meet up, and decide what to do as a group, or say, in pairs, whatever.No strings attached.As in you go with that person for a few hours, and need not necessarily see them again after.I think it would only particularly work in a town or larger.It would help people who are lonely.Some people are only temporarily lonely.
Just having a daydream.I'll go back to sleep now.

[Mumsyblouse]

I'm on my own this weekend, however I absolutely love it, I must be a bit strange, but I work really intensively all week and so like the opportunity to hang out with the children in a more relaxed way, making stuff, watching TV films, making apple crumble. I just feel the week is so busy, with school, activities and this is our chance to have some downtime, read books, for them to play together.

Other people who may want to hang out on weekends are mums/dads who are on their own (single/lone parents), mums/dads whose partners are away. I also heard a mum of an only child say it was hard to occupy them on weekends without brothers and sisters around. Tell others how you feel e.g. mums at school, they may be in exactly the same position and keen to get together.

[slipperandpjsmum]

amillion your message made me smile. My dd has friendships benches at school. If you have no one to play with you sit on a bench and one of the chosen friends (monitors) of the day would come up to you and make sure you had someone to play with. Your idea is a bit like the grown up version!

I like it.

[amillionyears]

ooh, I love the idea of that.Does that just happen at the beginning of term when there are new children or right throughout the year?
And do the same children keep sitting on it?
Sounds lovely.
That should happen nationally .For adults too.
That would be quite simple, friendship benches in each town and large village.Might not work so well in small villages,but who knows.
My imagination is working overtime.

Hope you ended up having a nice day yesterday.
Thanks for your post.

[ToothbrushThief]

slipper -I am the same. I went to bed last night thinking I am late 40's and have spent nearly all of my life alone. I was married for 23 yrs but he was never there and when he was never engaged with me or the DC.

I am less lonely as a single woman.

I woke yesterday feeling miserable because of the weather and the weekend stretching away with bored DC. I dragged them out to walk and took a little friend (mother was grateful for a break) so she was happy. They got filthy in mud and had a great time. I still miss adult company but am better for getting out. If you lived close to me I'd say let's meet up

[ebbandflow]

amillion your idea is fab, would make a lot of mums happy I am sure.