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Anyone cheated on the DP?

(28 Posts)
Manda91 Thu 23-Feb-12 00:31:43

Ok so there's loads of threads on men cheating on women but hardly any on women cheating on men! Haha...
Has anyone ever cheated on their DP?
If so what was the outcome?
Maybe women are just better at keeping it secret :D xxx

Pornyissue Thu 23-Feb-12 00:42:54

I know loads of women who have cheated. My dh was cheated on by all of his exs, bless him.
Imagine as this is a site predominantly used by women you wont see so many vice versa examples tbh.

TinyPants Thu 23-Feb-12 00:43:49

Oh yeah, loads but I was drunk, it only happened once, it didn't mean anything, my husband doesn't understand me, I'm stressed at work, my partner has let himself go after having children, we were having a bad patch, I just enjoyed the attention...

Erm, no. I think with my brain rather than my libido now that I am a grownup and there are children involved.

SlinkingOutsideInFrocks Thu 23-Feb-12 01:14:39

Yes, I cheated on my ex and was never found out.

I still left him though, as if I was cheating on him it clearly wasn't right, and he deserved better.

I have never cheated on DH and will never because yes, I'm an adult, he's the father of my children and it's the least he deserves.

Haha... hmm hmm

Manda91 Thu 23-Feb-12 02:09:03

I've never cheated on my DP, just looking through the relationship threads got me thinking how you always hear about the men cheating.. Then one of my friends said why are men always cheating b*****ds (she's going though it) and I felt like saying well its not always the bloke (but didn't) lol thanks for the replies smile x

MrsMuddyPuddles Thu 23-Feb-12 22:00:13

I did, on an ex. It was the end of a relationship that should have ended a few months before it did.

Malificence Thu 23-Feb-12 22:01:58

There are tons of threads where women are looking for validation for their cheating, thankfully they don't get it.

Manda91 Thu 23-Feb-12 22:23:58

Haha I think for some women cheating on their partner just gives them that little bit of proof their not happy then they end up leaving their partner

something2say Thu 23-Feb-12 22:26:17

I slept with someone else on holiday, and should have ended it before it got to that stage. Lasted about a month and a half after I got back. Too big a crack to paper over, and not the cheating.

LittleHouseofCamelias Thu 23-Feb-12 22:27:47

That was true for me Manda. I was in denial about my life and 24 year marriage until I fell in love with someone else and had a brief but passionate affair. The shock was enough to wake me up, send me to counselling and end my abusive marriage. I am thoroughly ashamed of my shitty behaviour and learned a valuable lesson in humility.

I can't imagine why you think this merits a "haha".
It is a sordid and horrible thing to do and not funny on any level. sad

madonnawhore Thu 23-Feb-12 22:28:25

I've never cheated on anyone. Unless you count the time I snogged M at S's party while I was going out with J in year 11.

I'd hate someone to do it to me. So I'd never do it to anyone else.

MadameOvary Thu 23-Feb-12 22:31:12

I cheated on DP, first time around. Fast forward six years and we got back together. I told him what happened as I wasn't that skank with no self-respect person anymore.

DaenerysTargaryenButCallMeDany Thu 23-Feb-12 22:32:46

I cheated on my exdp, I was young and didn't care, I don't regret it, he was an idiot and I shouldn't have been in the relationship anyway.
I would NEVER cheat on Dp I'm with now, I'm older and our relationship is a good one.

takingbackmonday Fri 24-Feb-12 10:05:39

XDP yes and I regret it wholeheartedly even though he was a twat of the highest order.

Current DP - wouldn't dream of it.

worldgonecrazy Fri 24-Feb-12 11:25:00

Yes, on my exH, a stupid way of punishing him for the miserable marriage I found myself in. It wasn't really punishing as he didn't know. As others have said, it was a sign the relationship was in trouble, and one day when I saw myself crying in the bathroom mirror, I decided to end the marriage.

With my current husband I don't need to cheat.

mojitomania Fri 24-Feb-12 11:29:34

Nope never cheated never stayed with anyone long enough <yawn> grin

ohdobuckup Fri 24-Feb-12 11:42:21

Well among my female nursing friends/acquaintances/colleagues, all now in their late forties early fifties,I can think of about twelve who have cheated on their dp, were never found out, and are still with their dp.

Only one has split from her husband, and that was for other reasons, and her affair was not discovered.

From conversations with them, and with clients I have counselled in the past, there are many women who want extra marital sex in the same way that many men do (please not I am not saying ALL men or ALL women), and don't want to split up the family or leave their partner.

To go along with the cliché I think women who have affairs tend not to be discovered/leave clues in the same way men tend to.

Reasons given were boredom with hubby, husband's sex drive disappeared, curiosity, wanted attention,wanted to try someone else after years of same man, just feeling horny and saw opportunity.

Another thing I have noticed is the number of older women whose sex drive increased as their husband's tailed off; I think we read a lot on here about women being pestered (especially after childbirth) for sex, but there are a lot of women out there who want a lot more sex than they are getting, and still feel confused and a bit ashamed/astonished at their need for sex.

lovesineffable Fri 24-Feb-12 12:08:45

I think the stereotypes here would tend to work to womens advantage, in terms of not being found out.

So, the belief that women are less likely to cheat may mean they are less likely to be suspected of cheating?
Also if they are less likely to brag about sexual encounters, and more likely to downplay the numbers of partners they they'd tend to be more discrete about 'extra curricular activities'?

worldgonecrazy Fri 24-Feb-12 12:17:30

I think lovesineffable has a good point. There was a survey which found 25% of men admitted to cheating and 20% of women. That means there are some women somewhere having an awful lot of fun.

sternface Fri 24-Feb-12 12:39:50

I don't think affairs are 'fun'. Initially maybe, but the fall-out is horrendous and miserable, whether you're found out or not.

Women cheat for the same reasons as men. Some are unhappy, some are attention-seekers, some just want to try someone new, some are romance-addicts and some need a separate room to house their egoes......wink

All behave selfishly though and that again is common to women and men.

And no-one needs to cheat, regardless of their circumstances.

KoPo Fri 24-Feb-12 14:36:32

I cheated on my ex many years ago. And I still feel guilty for doing that to him. He was a good man and I have no justification for it. The consequences of the cheating were he dumped me on the spot ( as I richly deserved) and I lost the love of a good man who I loved myself.

Cheating on a partner is a surefire way to destroy your own self worth and that of the person you cheat on.

sternface You are pretty much hitting the nail on the head with your post and I dont think I could put it any better.

anothermadamebutterfly Fri 24-Feb-12 15:08:12

I cheated on my ex-DP years ago. Just the once, with a work colleague/friend who I really liked (and who really liked me). For me it marked the end of the relationship, but I felt so guilty that I stayed with ex-DP for another two months. I never told him about it. Friend was keen to get together with me once I had finished with ex-DP, but I couldn't do it as it as it all felt jaded.

Not a time in my life I was proud of, I think I just lacked the courage to face facts (that I didn't love ex-DP).

mouldyironingboard Fri 24-Feb-12 18:23:27

My DH's ex-w cheated on him which lead to their divorce. She did me a huge favour as we met a few years later and are very happy together smile

MrDarty Fri 05-Sep-14 17:18:16

My wife cheated on me three years ago and it's been he'll for both of us but we're finally getting back to a trusting relationship and mutual admiration as before, thank god, would wish it anybody, guy or girl!

MrDarty Fri 05-Sep-14 17:21:09

..oops that should have said "wouldn't"

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