Want to hear from women who have had affairs please...

[sillymummy2]

I have been with my partner for many years. have not always been emotionally satisfied. We have a 2 young children. Last year, i met someone whom i knew from the past, nothing happened in the past though even though we like each other. He is single with no kids. We got on really well, shared similar interests and he showered me with compliments etc which my partner never really does. We really fell for each other, he told me he loved me, was willing to take on my kids, get a place together etc. Then my partner found out. Since then, we are going to counselling and trying to give things another go. Although i think deep down, it might not have worked with the other guy had i left my partner, i can't forget him. He lives a completely different life to mine, the kind of friends he has, likes to party and drink etc. Although he claimed that he's found the one and would like to settle down, i had my doubts. My partner on the other hand is very family orientated, a great dad and puts me and the kids first. That was the reason why i stayed. I just would like to hear from others who have been in a similar situation, how you forgot about the other guy or what happened with partner after the choice was made to stay or what happened after leaving partner for other guy etc.. Just want some support as i have no-one i could talk to.

[secretary]

Do you think he might be a bit of a red herring? It is interesting you chose someone so opposite, not just an opposite man, but opposite life? It's hard to find everything you want in one person, and maybe it's not just the other guy you are trying to forget but a whole other life and the grass perhaps looking greener...even if you know it isn't, you're still left wondering. Or maybe it is HIM...I don't know.

It sounds like you stayed for very pragmatic reasons (I'm not slating you for that, I would imagine lots of people put their families first rather than taking a gamble), so you're prone to wondering.

I think many people have the one that got away, whom you know it wouldn't have worked out with...I have one of these and have just accepted that he'll always have a little bit of my heart and make peace with that and hope that one day, it will go away.