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Husband making friends with young women on facebook......

(223 Posts)
Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 07:32:55

Long story short....

Husband been a dick in the past, never cheated that I know of but I wouldn't be surprised.
We're both 37.
He's new to facebook, emailling one old female friend pages lots of smileys and ggls.(it's fucking lols)
He's now made friends with a girl from work who is 23 and looks like a stripper, pages of photos in lipstick lesbian poses, tiny clothes, short skirts.....

I'm making no assumptions about this girl and think she woudn't be interested in H. But AIBU to think that a 37yr father of four, married, is a tad pathetic to request fb friendship with a woman who he barely works with?

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Sirzy Sat 12-Nov-11 07:34:09

Why can't be be friends with a work colleague? If it was a 53 year old male would you have the same issues?

Tee2072 Sat 12-Nov-11 07:34:39

It's FB. Don't take it so seriously.

And WTF is a 'lipstick lesbian pose'? I can't decide if that is homophobic or just stupid.

531800000008 Sat 12-Nov-11 07:35:30

what do you mean by lipstick lesbian please?

Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 07:37:54

No, not homophobic!!!! Lipstick lesbian pose is for men when girls pretend to kiss, think cover of loaded magazine.

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BalloonTwister Sat 12-Nov-11 07:37:59

Hmmm. My gut feeling is that if she is only 23 she's probably still in the stages of trying to collect as many friends as possible. I work with a 19 year old lad once a fortnight and he's requested to be my friend 3 times. (I'm also 37, rapidly approaching 38. I'm pretty sure he's not interested in me either) Tbh I'd be more worried about the old female friend. Are you feeling a bit insecure anyway? If you have nothing else to go on, and are just worried about him joining facebook, then I think you might be being a teensy bit U

nomoreheels Sat 12-Nov-11 07:38:30

I think OP means that the young woman is posing provocatively with her female friends.

Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 07:38:59

And she's not a colleague really, she works in a different dept. He's barely friends with blokes at work and not with any older women, just younger and 'I'm cool with lapdancing' types.

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Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 07:40:58

I'm not sure it's insecurity more than losing respect for him, older men falling over that type of woman I find pathetic.

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Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 07:41:30

Oh and he requested her friendship.

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Sirzy Sat 12-Nov-11 07:54:44

Have you asked him why? Sounds like your jumping to a hell of a lot of conclusions and just looking for reason to be angry with him.

Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 08:00:11

No conclusions, I don't think he's trying anything on. But I find it pathetic.

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Proudnscary Sat 12-Nov-11 08:00:59

Gosh OP I'm very sruprised by responses so far. Of course you're NBU.
I understood 'lipstick lesbian poses', it's not offensive. Women who pose as lesbians to tittilate men are offensive.
Anyway, the point is you don't trust your dh. That's your problem here, clearly.
I'm not sure what to suggest.
Have you posted in Relationships?

Jix Sat 12-Nov-11 08:06:38

I agree that it's pathetic behaviour. It's depressing when you see someone you love act like a dickhead.

Besom Sat 12-Nov-11 08:09:10

My dh came late to facebook, then very qucikly aquired hundreds of 'friends' in a rather competetive manner. I don't know who half of them are, except quite a few were ex girlfriends from his school days! He's bored of it now.

I think you are making a bit too much of the facebook thing. He does know her from work, it's not as if he has deliberately befriended her. However, I agree that it sounds as if there are other underlying things going on here.

Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 08:11:27

I have been making a bog effort lately, with four dcs it's not always easy and the pressure is constantly on, we've had money issues too. And then when I make an effort I see his flaws even more.

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Besom Sat 12-Nov-11 08:13:51

And I do agree that it is a bit sad (including my own dh in that).

SenoritaViva Sat 12-Nov-11 08:17:11

I wouldn't expect (and know my husband) wouldn't behave like that on FB.

SenoritaViva Sat 12-Nov-11 08:18:02

Although I wouldn't particularly mind him being friends with her. But then we trust each other.

squeakytoy Sat 12-Nov-11 08:21:40

I think this is more about your insecurities than him just being facebook friends with people.

What has he actually done wrong? confused

You also sound quite bitter about young women too.

Makiko Sat 12-Nov-11 08:24:06

Message withdrawn

Makiko Sat 12-Nov-11 08:30:12

Message withdrawn

Manathome Sat 12-Nov-11 08:33:42

How pathetic, loads of double standards here, what the hell has age got to do with anything? I am married to a much younger woman and we have now been happily married for 16yrs with two gorgeous children that we both love to bits, some of you lot need to look in the mirror, you are quick enough to jump on the sexist or homophobic band wagon yet can't accept age, sort yourselves out and STOP being ageist!

As for it being a woman with young male friends, that we be fine would it? How pathetic!

Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 08:40:32

Ageist? No, we're in a totally different stage of ours lives. He is married with four children and she is single, carefree and has a plethora of porny/nightclub frat style pictures. I wonder what he's looking for, actually, from her friendship.

And no I'm not in competition with these women, I've got enough to offer, I have no problem with my age. I've always has a rather dim view of women that promote themselves as sexually vulnerable and submissive.

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Facebookisforlosers Sat 12-Nov-11 08:41:14

Manat.....You remind me of someone in RL, big age gap, two kids and weird views.

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