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What is the best way to end an Internet 'relationship'?

(14 Posts)
IWasTheBadOne Tue 25-Oct-11 15:18:52

it's probably a stupid question, but I want to do the right thing and not hurt him. I've been talking to this guy for a few months, but we've haven't met. He seems decent enough but I can just tell there's never going to be a connection, and it doesn't seem worth making any arrangements to meet, but I can't think how to word it to tell him. It seems a bit nasty just coming out and saying "I find you quite irritating and know-it-all", but I don't like the idea of just letting it slip and leaving him hanging either. Anyone got any ideas?

issey6cats Tue 25-Oct-11 15:24:25

when he sends you a message jsut send a quick reply and say sorry really busy at the moment got to go a few of these and he will get the message or next time you talk to him maybe been blunt to be kind is the way to go , just say you have valued your online relationship but cant see it going into real life and wish him luck in the future with someone else

ameliagrey Tue 25-Oct-11 15:25:08

I think I'd make some excuse such as you have got very busy with work, knitting, yoga..whatever amd are cutting back on your internet time.

Might sound a bit lame but at least he will never be sure that you are simply fed up with him.

Thzumbazombiewitch Tue 25-Oct-11 15:27:57

Can you not just be a bit honest with him and say "look, while i enjoy chatting to you, I really can't see this going any further than just internet chat, so it might be better for you to spend more time finding someone else who is better suited to you"
Or something like that.

TobyLeWolef Tue 25-Oct-11 15:30:13

Be honest. Don't go down the passive-aggressive 'oooh, I suddenly got really busy' route.

margerie75 Tue 25-Oct-11 16:13:35

Be honest and let him down with one message.

HMTheQueen Tue 25-Oct-11 16:22:56

I've helped word one of these messages for a friend previously.

We She said something like:

"To be fair to both of us, although you seem nice, I don't feel any sort of 'connection' or 'spark' so I think it's better if I bow out gracefully to allow us both to find someone else."

He took it very well grin

TobyLeWolef Tue 25-Oct-11 16:24:29

Also, be prepared for him to try and persuade you to meet him sooner, to see if there is a 'spark' in person.

IWasTheBadOne Tue 25-Oct-11 16:49:52

Thanks for all responses. I know I need to be honest, but I guess there are degrees of honesty..I guess I don't need to tell him what annoys me about him do I! I may end up nicking your message, HMTheQueen!

I had thought about him wanting to meet in person and wondered if it would be worth it just to make sure there was nothing there, but pretty sure I don't want to.

TobyLeWolef Tue 25-Oct-11 16:52:18

If he irritates you now, he's hardly going to get less irritating!

happyinherts Tue 25-Oct-11 17:06:42

I've been phased out of someone's life by the "I'm busy at the moment" and quite frankly I didn't notice because they were a busy person. It hurts like heck to realise they took the cowards way out and didn't just tell me so.

Please do it the proper way with nice words. There's no point in stringing it out and hurting someone more than necessary. It's cowardly.

HMTheQueen Tue 25-Oct-11 17:53:59

You're welcome! Feel free to use it as many times as you like. It seems to be the only fair, and non-confrontational way of saying it's over, without making it about him, or you. smile

heleninahandcart Tue 25-Oct-11 19:16:21

I favour the direct but kind approach as per HerH. Gradually withdrawing/not answering someone is cowardly and disrespectful. Yes be prepared for him to try to persuade you to meet, but IMO if its not there in writing its not going to be there in the flesh

heleninahandcart Tue 25-Oct-11 19:17:15

experience not IMO

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