A woman who was partner of a chap I knew at work several years ago is still looking me and DH up on internet sites. She was a bit jealous a few years ago but since then I have left office her DP was in. Am I unreasonable for thinking this is odd? I would like to get this over with . How do I do it ?
BTW - when I say a bit jealous it included setting up false websites about me and false email addresses (including emailing my father - which to me is unacceptable ) - what do I do?
Yes she did think her DH was into me but that was a long time ago - She made up an email account which looked like it was in my name - also made a website in my name where she put borderline pornograpic pictures. To me that is not as bad as her trying to change our utilities account as she had got an email account which looked like it was in my name . (uswitch) . I am sure she felt hard done to but does anyone think there is a line that should be drawn . BTW she works for a large computer company & frankly I think that if you do there must be some kind of code of conduct which says you can't sit at your desk observing and interfering with other people over the interweb. Maybe not.
OK sounds a bit bonkers but I have never been able to say this before very much (apart from friend who works for big SW co. - who essentially said - call the police)
He thought it was bonkers & mad but we decided to just ignore it . Which worked (ie we did ignored it and she went away) but recently I have seen she looks me up on Linkedin on a regular basis etc (I know that doesnt sound bad but after all that has gone before I am a wee bit nervous) I shall ignore it and just carry on - but is it not a little odd that people act like this outside of films ? I had thought it was all over with and so have binned evidence about her other stuff so can't do anything about that. To be honest , looking me up on internet sites is ok in itself - it is just the previous stuff she did that spooked me & once a few years had gone past I binned the evidence .
Thanks for listening - I just want to know I am not mad. and - frankly I don't like the thought that someone is tracking me via their computer. It just doesnt feel comfortable. The nice thing is I can tell DH whenever it happens so he knows it too & as I say he thinks she is bonkers too.
I wish I had done something about it when it first happened - but I didnt.
How do you know it's her? Unless you can track her ISP etc then it should not be possible to see who is looking at anything you have online- unless it's something like a dating site where the people who look at you are clocked.
As it's unlikely that you'll be in a position to know whether she is using her employer's time and equipment to 'look you up', I suggest that you refrain from making any contact with her employers otherwise it may appear that you're harassing her.
It's stalking, harassment and probably defamation. The utility bills thing would be attempted fraud, I think. I'm amazed you haven't even talked to the police about it.
If she's set up a website especially to harass you, of course she can be traced as the owner of the domain. Likewise, the pass-off email address can be traced to its real owner although this would require some sort of special permission - talk to the cops and find out what you can do.
If you have no evidence left of her past bad behaviour, I would suggest saving anything she does now so that if she starts up again you have stuff to show to the police. It might be worth having a word with them anyway, and if she does start to act up they can go round and have a word.