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Does this kinda thing wind anyone else up?

(16 Posts)
WitchWitch Sun 23-Oct-11 23:49:06

Does anyone else's DP hardly ever acknowledge or answer their texts? Mine is working away atm, going on for 3 weeks now and I'm at home with 3 DC's youngest is 1yr. He does call but if I text him or fb message him...nothing. I'm not high maintenance or anything but geez it'd be nice if he text me back once in a while.
At this very moment we're both on fb, both available to chat and I've only had kiddy conversation all day apart from the five mins he was on the phone with me earlier today. I've chatted with a couple of family members (main reason I have it tbh) and said hi to DP twice in the last hour hoping for a bit of light banter...nothing. I guess he's chatting to someone but it certainly isn't me! I ended up texting him but he hasn't answered that either.
Generally I don't make a big thing of it but grr it really annoys me sometimes. I don't think anyone likes feeling like they're being ignored do they? Or am I expecting too much?

CleopatrasAsp Sun 23-Oct-11 23:52:56

That's really rude and would piss me right off.

BertieBotts Sun 23-Oct-11 23:54:23

For facebook messaging he might not realise it's left on and have it open in another tab or something... I always do this.

Though if he's always ignoring you then yes that is rude! Have you tried telling him how much it bothers you?

WitchWitch Mon 24-Oct-11 00:16:13

Yeah I get it with the fb messaging, although he has notifications that pop up on his phone. I did even think he might have fallen asleep but he went off line for a bit then back on so...
And then to not acknowledge my text either just makes me feel a bit sad. I miss him and all our phone conversations are quite heavy..work..kids..bills..so a text or two or fb about random or funny stuff would be nice..or even a late night goodnight, miss you, something soppy or whatever..we used to do that a lot, usually initiated by him. I send him ones like this on occasion bit with little or no feedback I end up thinking there's no point.

garlicBreathZombie Mon 24-Oct-11 03:15:17

Yes, yes that would piss me off too, especially not bothering to reply when you 'kiss him goodnight' and suchlike. I gave him the benefit of the doubt wrt facebook - I leave tabs open for hours, sometimes days at a time - but it does a bit of a flashy thing when you have a PM, doesn't it? As you say, he probably gets a phone alert too.

It sounds as though he relegates you to a "duty" when he's away, which must make you feel absolutely great hmm Is there any mileage in diverting the businesslike phone call into general chit-chat, random news and trivial questions about his day?

If not, I'm a bit stumped. I'd be inclined to SHOUT, through all available media, "HELLO! I'm here! Remember me?"

I'm sure other posters will think of some far friendlier ideas, like sending him tastefully erotic pictures of yourself, and/or home-baked cakes. But I can't; I'm in a bad mood wink

perceptionreality Mon 24-Oct-11 03:27:46

YANBU - it certainly is rude. And makes you worry if they are ok and why they haven't replied.

WitchWitch Mon 24-Oct-11 08:22:22

Thanks for the replies guys. I was beginning to wonder if I was being a bit precious so I'm glad to hear it would piss you off too. I did text him goodnight and I miss you last night but nothing..probably annoyed cos I asked why he was ignoring me. He hasn't called yet today. I don't want to make a big deal of it but I think I need to gently tell him how it makes mr feel.
My brother told me last night not to text and to wait for him to text me. I'm afraid that's just not me! I've never been the kind to wait for a man to get in touch if I need to speak to him. After all this time I think we're a little past me playing hard to get!!!

babyhammock Mon 24-Oct-11 08:38:45

When/if he phones, don't answer.
Start being a bit more 'unavailable'.... make him wonder what you're doing..
Grrrr on your behalf!

garlicBreathZombie Mon 24-Oct-11 13:00:02

Does he ignore you much when he's at home, too?

madonnawhore Mon 24-Oct-11 13:58:16

That's really hurtful and rude. I don't blame you for being upset.

clam Mon 24-Oct-11 14:00:31

Well, I have a DH who is a total technophobe re: mobiles and who just Does Not Get facebook. I would say that 7 times out of 10 that I try him on his mobile it's either switched off or he's left it in the car. He has to ask me how to retrieve voicemails, and often he'll say "oh, did you text me today?" as he stumbles across something I sent last week.
So I understand the frustration you feel, EXCEPT that I know the score and to get him to respond I need either to call him on his desk phone at work or email him on his work account. Then he'll see it. And respond. And he never ignores me usually - likes to chat at length in the evenings and so on.
But in your shoes and if I could see he was on FB chatting to other people (after telling me it's all a lot of inane nonsense and a waste of time) I'd be hacked off. Have you talked to him about it?

fuzzynavel Mon 24-Oct-11 14:39:40

The facebook thing could be him just leaving his page open.

My DP doesn't get back to me for ages due to his job so I don't expect it.

If however it's neither of the above then, yes, I'd be pretty pissed off.

maleview70 Mon 24-Oct-11 18:03:11

What is he like when he is home? Is he attentive/loving etc or cold?

Some men are just not into all this texting/facebook stuff. I think not replying to a text last thing at night is a bit mean. It only takes a minute even if he doesnt want to send it.

WitchWitch Mon 24-Oct-11 19:45:03

Hey all..been so busy today only just had chance to read your replies. At home he's usually attentive/kind etc. I did mention the text issue to him when he worked away earlier in the year and on thinking about it he agreed that he had been less attentive than he could have been and things improved on the next couple of work trips. He used to be brilliant at the late night/early morning text thing and it made me feel nice to think he was thinking of me at those times. I think I'll have to give him a nudge and remind him how nice that feels and how I feel when he doesn't text or often reply.
Anyway he's called twice today, mostly to tell me about things at work but the best news is that he's coming home tomorrow, 3 days early. He basically told them he's done all he can there, has only had 2 days off in nearly 3 weeks and misses us etc so he'll be home tomorrow grin thanks all for your input, I feel more justified in being a bit miffed knowing you'd feel the same.

garlicBreathZombie Mon 24-Oct-11 20:28:50

smile Happy homecoming smile

WitchWitch Mon 24-Oct-11 21:31:33

Thanks garlic...it will be wink

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