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Going through divorce - how to build support network?

(6 Posts)
helpwhatdoIdonow Sun 23-Oct-11 19:41:30

Have had counselling, looked on websites, they all say I need a good support network of friends and family...but they don't tell you how to go about finding one. All my friends are married and don't have a lot of free time and are not in the same phase of life as me. My family live two hours away. I haven't worked for many years as have been bringing up kids. I just started a course as a mature student but all my classmates are recent or fairly recent graduates and we have little in common. Have asked doctor, library, google searched support groups and nothing (I live in small town, nothing unless you are a new mum or retired). Have tried meet-up.com and have started going to a few of their meets but its a slow process. Can anyone recommend any other avenues that worked for them? Many many thanks. I feel so on my own with all this...need some women in similar situation to me...mumsnet is of course awesome but its not quite the same as sitting down with someone and a cup of tea / bottle of wine!

headnotheart Sun 23-Oct-11 23:08:03

I am not very good at this myself, but didn't want you to go unanswered. Where is the course taking place - can you find other mature students on other courses in the cafeteria, say (excuse me, is someone sitting here (when cafe full))? Talk to your friends on the phone more than you have been? Even if people have not been through it themselves, as we get older we often have at least second hand experience we can share, so some of your friends may be more understanding than you think.

Am just at the start of divorce myself, BTW. Any tips?

helpwhatdoIdonow Tue 25-Oct-11 09:38:09

Very kind of you to answer, thank you. Have tried getting together with mature students but because I have to fit studies in with school run and its a 40 minute commute I can't usually make anything outside of lectures. It feels wrong to pay a childminder just so I can make social stuff...(d)h is giving me hassle about spending as we are currently living on his salary till I can find part-time work. Good idea re the cafe though - tried that my first week and the girl I approached as not very friendly and it put me off a bit but got to keep trying haven't you!
Tips...hmmm...I don't know, you're welcome to ask me any questions (pm me if necessary) and I will try to answer! Still at the beginnings of things myself...have not started the legal process and he has not yet moved out.

headnotheart Tue 25-Oct-11 21:05:42

Have just instructed solicitor to submit petition, and am waiting ?what?!! at the end of the week when it arrives. He too has not yet moved out - he can't for financial reasons.

headnotheart Tue 25-Oct-11 21:10:01

BTW. do your friends have kids, and are they older or younger than your own? It has definitely been slightly isolating for me that my friends reproduced roughly a year before I did, though now some of their full grown children are true friends, and I am an honorary grandmother to their kids.

And what's the course about? (If you're happy to tell.)

headnotheart Tue 25-Oct-11 21:11:06

awaiting not waiting

roughly ten years not roughly a year (!)

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