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My relationship has just ended, please can I have some immediate coping advice?

(13 Posts)
Floptom Sat 22-Oct-11 15:42:32

That's it really...I'm in shock, confusion, denial etc...can someone please tell me some things to do to get me through the next 24 hours?!

I've put some washing on. Now I am sitting down. I don't know what to do next.

HelveticaTheBold Sat 22-Oct-11 15:44:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayano Sat 22-Oct-11 15:44:50

Tea. Tea and x factor tonight?

What happened? Was it sudden orwas it
On the cards. Hope you are ok. How are you feeling or have you not had time to think/ reflect ?

Adversecamber Sat 22-Oct-11 15:45:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnapesOnAPlane Sat 22-Oct-11 15:46:01

Visit friends and family, read a good book, draw/paint(if you like to draw or paint), go shopping, play iSketch smile.
Paint your nails, toe nails and then do your hair. That way everytime you look you'll smile.
Hth x

elesbells Sat 22-Oct-11 15:48:14

oh sad i'm so sorry for you...

get yourself out.....anywhere friend? sister? walk in the park?...don't stay inside whatever you do...too much time to think..

Is there someone you can stay with tonight? x

Floptom Sat 22-Oct-11 15:50:19

Thank you, it wasn't sudden but I thought it was going to be ok. I thought we were working through our problems but it turns out I was wrong.

I'm finding it hard to think of telling any friends or family because it will be out of the blue to them all and I don't think I can actually say it out loud.

zoe88 Sat 22-Oct-11 15:52:12

Same has just happened to me and me and our son are now staying at my mums. First night I wrote down all the things that irritated me about him and then all the things I could do now I was single. It was very therapeutic.
Then I made a list of all the people I could get to beat him up grin not that I would ever but it is great to imagine.
I hope this helps and u feel better soon

Gigondas Sat 22-Oct-11 15:53:45

I favour the 2 week rule on this- treat yourself as if been ill for 2 weeks. Eat what our like, drink within reason (binges can make you feel worse and even worse end up with ringing , texting etc ex) and indulge yourself with whatever treats you can afford or like. A lot of the initial horrors feelings are as much about shock so I do think its good to do whatever it needs . So sorry it's shit of you.

WardrobeYeti Sat 22-Oct-11 16:18:13

My immediate advice would be not to contact him unless it's about absolutely essential matters (finances, children). Even if every nerve in your body is screaming for you to call/text, don't. Think of everything from now on as the recovery phase- you need to distance yourself from the relationship while you heal. Contacting them is going to rip open the wounds and set you back.

Have books ready to read when you can't stop thinking about it (which at first will be all of the time) or films, or a boxset. Anything that will give you something to immerse yourself in.

Eat well, excercise, get out of the house. Get a diary and fill it with things you want to do from week to week. Look at this as an opportunity to do good things for yourself and focus on what you want out of the future. Break ups are ghastly, but the best thing you can do is carry on so that when you emerge from the fog you have a good thing going.

Floptom Sat 22-Oct-11 16:23:03

Thank you. Sorry to hear you are going through similar zoe.

I think I mostly need to switch off my brain for a day or two but I don't really know how since everything is causing a fresh flood of tears. I also need to switch of the part of my brain that is still saying it's going to be ok but I don't know how to shut it up.

Floptom Sat 22-Oct-11 16:33:55

Thank you Wardrobe, everything you say makes sense and I am trying to drum that message through to myself. I am just in such a state of blind panic and confusion and utter, utter heartbreak I don't know what to do.

I am going to try Friends DVDs but I know that they will all just make me cry at every memory. That's the trouble everything is going to have this effect on me now, I just want something to stop my thoughts.

haylojaylo Sat 22-Oct-11 16:41:21

Delete all contact details immediately from your mobile, laptop etc so you won't ring/email under the influence. Then pour yourself a nice glass of wine, accompany with your favourite nibbles and then watch a DVD with a really hot man/woman (whatever floats your boat!) It's bloody awful I know, it happened to me every few months for about 10 years until I met my DP at the grand old age of 32 using internet dating. We now have a beautiful baby so don't worry there is light at the end of the tunnel, tho I know it doesn't help when people say things like that!

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