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should ex tell me whats going on?

(8 Posts)
kunahero Fri 21-Oct-11 08:30:38

Brief history.
Exdw and I had ds & dd, divorced 13 yrs ago after she had affair with my friend. I moved away but kept in touch and saw dc regularly, paid £ etc. I have married again and have dd2 with dw.

Exw married expal and had dd but he then did the dirty on her by having affair with her best friend (leopards and spots!) They serparated and we helped where we could, increasing maintenance etc. She is obviously having some serious problems according to her fb. (we are still friendly and are fb friends) but she will not tell me the details of the problem.

I think she is having to move out of her luxury house in leafy village but not sure. I think there are other problems too poss with her exdh2

Should she let me know whats happening as it may not affect me but does affect my 2 dc?

Your opinions and sagely advice greatly appreciated.

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 21-Oct-11 08:36:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kunahero Fri 21-Oct-11 08:39:58

I get the impression it was not an amicable split. They were constantly arguing b4 break up. I get some snippets of info from dc but they are loyal to their mum and dont want to upset her by telling me something she doesnt want me to know.

I am concerned for my dc. i do care about ex a bit but she is big enough to sort her own life out.

kunahero Fri 21-Oct-11 18:34:56


TiredOfGoingRoundInCircles Fri 21-Oct-11 18:39:01

can you just ask her?

AnyPhantomFucker Fri 21-Oct-11 18:40:19

there is no "should" about it

she can tell you if she wants to, if she doesn't want she won't

"should" implies she has a responsibility to keep you informed of her private life

unless it directly involves the safety of your dc, of course it is none of your business

kunahero Fri 21-Oct-11 19:41:32

APF thats my dilema... I'm just not sure how it does involve the dc. Obviously it will involve them somehow but to what extent I dont know.

I dont think I could just ask her as I'm not sure if I'll come across as a nosey , interfering exh which given her past history of not talking to me for months might not be such a good idea.

I dont think the dc's physical safety is in question but i am concerned about exdw's stress levels which often shows in depression, drinking so could damage them mentally.

clam Fri 21-Oct-11 21:43:43

I think you have valid concerns for your DCs and therefore you have a right to know that they're safe and being well-cared for. If that is your motivating factor, then yes, she should keep you in the loop.

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