Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

not sure what to do - sexual dysfunction?

(4 Posts)
icantthinkofawittyname Wed 19-Oct-11 13:26:13

name changer here,

i have been married for several years, and am basically, mostly happy. We have never been at it like bunnies and our marriage has been more one of companionship and solidity than passion and excitement.

At the very start of our relationship when we were both very young, my DH couldnt maintain an erection for penetrative sex. Over the years this sorted itself out and we had a few sessions with a therapist.

However, lately, he can start but cant finish iyswim....he seems to lose his erection half way through, and its actually leaving me feeling crap. im sure its not doing much for him either of course, but why now? does this mean he finds me a turn off mid stroke....?(!!) i dont want to make a big deal out of it, im worried that if i do broach it he will feel worse, and the problem will stick

But its putting me right off. He initiates sex, (not often, but he does) then cant finish. He is in his mid 40's.

im not sure what to do.

If this has just started and he's in his forties, he may have a physical problem and he needs to see a doctor. This could be a sign of a serious medical condition (diabetes, heart disease) and he needs to get it checked urgently.

Did you uncover the cause of his erection problems when he was younger? Was it an issue that you're wary of bringing up again?

Is the problem only during penetration? Can he climax through masturbation? Can he climax through oral sex or a hand-job from you?

The only answer is to talk to your DH. I understand why it won't be easy, but you honestly can't and won't make it worse by talking! He's initiating sex, so he clearly wants it. He can't possibly think you don't notice that he loses his erection mid-session. Talking about it means you're both working towards the solution you both want - a mutually satisfying sex life.

icantthinkofawittyname Wed 19-Oct-11 16:28:19

ok thanks, i have broached it with him.

he is not over weight or at risk of anything, he doesnt drink or smoke, but i think he had better go get checked out regardless.

we have spoken about it and i know he is a bit worried as its happened a few times lately, but he is wondering how to tell the gp....

when he was younger it was just anxiety - he was a virgin when we met and i think he just had problems letting someone get that close tbh.

this seems different as he looses it whilst 'on the job' as it were! ill get to see a gp.

MangoMonster Wed 19-Oct-11 19:41:31

Agree he should go for a check up. It could just be that because it happened once or twice, he is now thinking too much about it during sex and that's making it happen.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now