Name changed as I tend to over-reveal (and have been outed on here before) so covering my tracks. Will try and keep this as brief as poss!
Been with DP for almost two years, following a marriage which eventually ended with some affairs (his) and emotional abuse type stuff going on. DP is kind, loyal, lovely, has integrity and is extremely emotionally open. These are the things I love and value most about him.
I've been vegetarian since I was little, from the time I realised what meat actually was. It's almost a squeamishness thing. I just never liked the taste nor texture of meat and fish & have never had the desire to eat it. I have no issue at all with what anyone else eats. DP is also veggie. For me, that's convenient, but no more. I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if he weren't.
Recently I've been thinking about trying some fish after a nutritionist friend looked at my diet and told me that I was really lacking in protein. It's a big thing for me after nearly 25 years of not eating it. I mentioned the idea in passing to DP and he really surprised me with his reaction - apparently it's one of hig biggest principles to be vegetarian, one of the things he likes most about me and he implied that he'd be disappointed if I went back to eating fish. When pushed, he admitted that he would worry his feelings towards me would inevitably change if we didn't share this fundamental thing.
This all led to a barney where I told him I didn't want to be in a conditional relationship, there were far more important values in my opinion and really it was up to me what I ate. I'm hyper sensitive to any signs of controlling behaviour (thanks to XH) and this rang alarm bells even though he's never given cause for concern before.
So where do I go from here? We made up after the row, but it's still on my mind. Should I be seeing this as a big red flag or does everyone have sticking points? Is it just that his priorities of what he wants in a partner are different from mine, and is that an issue in itself? Thanks to anyone who got this far, I know it's a weird one!!
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Relationships
Weird argument with DP - our values are different - what's this about?
wtfwtf · 18/10/2011 19:56
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