Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

My mother

(10 Posts)
yok2t Tue 18-Oct-11 10:16:08

Sorry I just need to have a little rant.
I know I'm not the only one with a slightly crazy mother but sometimes she is just driving me up the wall.
What irritates me today is that she will say one thing and then deny she said it or claim she said something else. Which sounds a bit like she is gas lighting me but I don't think she is doing it on purpose, I think she just has a loose grasp on reality or something.
My grandmother is in hospital at the moment( they are not in the UK), I called her(grandmother) this morning and she said she was not very well but couldn't really explain what had happened over night. I have some medical background so could sort of work out what might be going on. Called my mother as she had just talked to the doctor and she wasn't much help, getting any sensible information out of her is very hard work.
I then called the hospital myself and spoke to the doctor so now I know what is going on. Mother calls me back and I told her that I had asked the doctor to give me the short medical explanation. She then started ranting at me that I had made her look stupid and that she had told me what was happening and why did I need to call the doctor?
Well I needed to call the doctor because ' the blue curve was looking different and the number was going up to 50 and down to 21' (what my mother told me) doesn't tell me as much as ' your grandmother had a hypertensive crisis and acute pulmonary oedema and is being treated with xyz...'(what the doctor said). Now she claims she told me all that( she did not) and I have embarrassed her in front of the doctor. hmm
Give me strength.
Rant over.

headnotheart Tue 18-Oct-11 10:28:06

So the doctor said she had very high blood pressure and something wrong with her lungs - but I don't know what oedema is without looking it up. Is that roughly right? Does what your mother said about blue lines etc make more sense now?

It seems the doctor had no problem speaking to someone who understood technical medical terms, but failed to properly convey what was wrong in layman's terms?

I expect your mother is proper worried and it's hard to keep stuff straight in your head in this kind of situation.

This may sound unsympathetic to you, but it isn't meant that way!

ItsMeAndMyPumpkinNow Tue 18-Oct-11 10:41:14

Is she usually more worried about her image than about treating you with respect?

yok2t Tue 18-Oct-11 10:53:32

Thank you for your
No the doctor explained what was wrong in lay terms to my mother, at length. the problem was to get that information out of my mother. I gave up after about 15 min and called the doctor myself. When mother called me back she then said she had told me about the high blood pressure and breathing problems, when in fact she had not. I do understand that she is hysterical nervous but the issue was that she had claimed, once again, to have told me stuff she didn't. And then got angry at me for getting the information myself.

It makes me sound like a bit of a bitch to use this example, I know. I'm not really.Not sure why this made me so grumpy this morning.

yok2t Tue 18-Oct-11 10:55:20

Yes I would say she is always worried about what other people say. Whereas I couldn't care less. grin

ItsMeAndMyPumpkinNow Tue 18-Oct-11 11:19:01

Can you tell her to stop ranting at you on these occasions? Will she stop if you do?

yok2t Tue 18-Oct-11 11:57:09

The rant fizzles out and then she acts all aggrieved for a bit.

bejeezus Tue 18-Oct-11 12:10:22

hiya. My mum does exactly this sort of thing. She will turn up with my (poor) dad on a Sunday all dressed for going out for lunch, and we will great her in our pjs. She then gets all shitty because she DID make arrangements with me about going out (she didnt!). Shes done that particular example a couple of times now. For a while, I thought I was going dolally/ misremembering/forgetting. She also relays misinformation between me, my sister and my dad (dad lives with her, but hes not 1 for chatting on the phone - although he is becoming more so because of this problem). Some times this is trivial stuff but often important information about health, arrangements etc.

Has your always done this? Mine only in the last couple of years

yok2t Tue 18-Oct-11 13:17:51

Oh, mine has always been like this.
bejeezus- How old is your mum? Do you think she might be developing memory problems if she has only been doing it for a couple of years?

I didn't really use the best example to illustrate it. She often twists what I said or what she did/didn't say and she can be quite hysterical/drama queeny about things. All of which adds up to be really exhausting to deal with. Which is why I'm glad I live in a different country!

headnotheart Tue 18-Oct-11 17:29:46

I do know what you mean yok2.

The nearest I've got is DF, who with his Asperger's, sometimes thinks that everyone else knows the same information as him, without him telling them.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now