Hi, this is my first post on MN but I've been lurking for a while. I just need some advice and perspective as I'm really struggling with my dad. I'll try to cut a long story short...
My dad has suffered from depression for a long time, which culminated in a nervous breakdown several years ago. It was the worst time of my life and although he eventually got through it, I've always been terrified it will happen again.
He was involved in an accident at work a couple of months ago and has some health problems related to this and to other things, and I know that he worries a lot about his health. However, he is a huge hypochondriac and I think because he tells himself how ill he is and how his problems will only get worse, they do, IYSWIM. In reality, if he was less pessimistic I think he would feel a lot better.
The part I'm mainly struggling with is how he treats my mum. He talks to me when I go to visit and on the phone, but it's like drawing blood from a stone. However, he basically just ignores my mum. She's done so much to help him in the past few months, but he hardly talks to her and shows no interest in her at all. He reacts with anger towards her when all she wants to do is care for him. I'm struggling because I feel like she is so alone. She is such a lovely, positive person and she has to put up with him treating her like crap. All through my life, she has done absolutely everything for him. He doesn't lift a finger round the house or do any cooking etc., and although I think he's incredibly lazy, it's one of those things where it works for them, as she's glad to do everything. I just wish he would show her more appreciation.
Sometimes I just want to cut him out of my life. I spend so much time stressing and worrying about mainly my mum, but also him. I love him but I don't like him, and at times like these when he's acting like a selfish child I feel anger towards him, but then when he's his normal self he's a lovely, caring man. I have problems of my own and worrying about my parents is taking its toll. I feel like I have to deal with it all myself as I don't have any siblings to help out.
Sorry it's long, I feel like I need to pour my heart out! Has anyone been in a similar situation or can offer some insight?
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Struggling with my dad
7 replies
PaperHeart · 17/10/2011 16:09
OP posts:
BluddyMoFo ·
17/10/2011 19:45
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