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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

999 replies

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 15/10/2011 12:38

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

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BBwannaB · 16/10/2011 08:47

BOING! Morning Brave Babes! Wishing you a happy and sober sunday.

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venusandallsouls · 16/10/2011 10:16

It's a lovely bright autumn day here, and I'm feeling very happy and very peaceful Smile

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sillysillymum · 16/10/2011 10:26

Boing, boing! Hello new thread.

Must think of spooky new name...

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ScareyFairenuff · 16/10/2011 10:26

Morning all Smile

Today I will not be drinking.

Got lots to get on with as I didn't get much done yesterday so am aiming to end the day thus; clean and tidy house, washing done and put away, food shopping done, meal prepared and sitting down with the family stone cold sober Smile.

To all the newbies, I would like to echo what Mouse said on the last thread. Every sober day is a good day. Whatever you achieve you should be proud of. Some of us didn't think we could get through a day without alcohol, let alone a few days or a week. You are now chosing when to drink and how much. You are much more in control.

Anyone else like to join me in sober Sunday and hangover free Monday?

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MsGee · 16/10/2011 11:03

Boing!! Sober Sunday planned here. Day 2 (again).

I am, however, now addicted to baking and decorating shortbread. My shortbread people now have chocolate clothes and icing hair. I suspect there is no end to the madness.

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Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 16/10/2011 11:19

MORNING Grin

Lovely to see you all here on a Sunday morning.

Rough night with my gorgeous boy again but we managed to have plenty of snuggles so not all bed. Smile

Silly - how about SpookySpookyMum? Or a brand new name seeing as though you're not silly? Smile

Glorious day here.

venus - fab news about DD xxxx

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cidre · 16/10/2011 11:22

Morning, 2nd sober weekend in a row since I don't know when.
Am seriously considering actually starting diet soon, to embrace new, healthier me. noteven hope playing goes well this am.MsGee those shortbread people sound great! Scarey I should get on with all the things you listed, suspect not much will get done tho' feeling lazy!
Can't go back to old thread without losing my post, so can I just say to those looking after unwell relatives and friends, hope today brings some relief.
Sober Sunday to us all (if that's our aim)
[hsmile]

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Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 16/10/2011 11:38

Cidre - great idea re the diet, how about a name change too? Something that doesn't look like an alcoholic drink? Grin

MsGee - how was DD last night? Did she sleep any better?

Hmmmm, baking. I am tempted to make some choc chip cookies today but I've just made a crusty loaf to go with the beef casserole we're having for dinner.

Think I've got no choc chips either! Essential ingredient me thinks! Grin

Lazy day here, very crisp and cool outside even though the sun is out..... maybe go for a long walk with Nemo later. Feed the ducks and stop off at the park?

Sober Sundays are ace. Much nicer than waking up feeling foggy and sick.

Thurso - how are you? Been thinking of you xx

Ma - what happened last night? Did DH get the hint? Sad

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BBwannaB · 16/10/2011 11:41

Noteven I'm so impressed with all the lovely things you do with your DD, your day out yesterday sounded absolutely fab. It made me hanker for the sea, but I have to do horrible gardening today, the garden is a MESS. Have a good day babes and make the most of this lovely autumn weather.

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cidre · 16/10/2011 12:03

mouse am planning to do 14 days sober, and change to cidrenomore.[hsmile]

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Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 16/10/2011 13:29

Excellent idea! I look forward to seeing that, you can do it. Smile xx

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BafangaTheSombre · 16/10/2011 13:37

Jumps in and marks place, currently having lunch in st Andrews, sun is shining although it's a bit cold. About to have a walk along st Andrews beach. All good, and even better to be doing it without a hangover.

Hope everyone is well. Shall read everything when I get home.

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demonicma · 16/10/2011 14:13

bafanga enjoy the West sands - wish i was there!
mouse no row, but no sex (which is good) and no conversation (not so good but used to it). I hate to see him hurt and down but I don't know what to do. It must be awful when someone you have loved for the last 25 years and still love , doesn't love you backSad. I'm sad for him , but I am so unhappy carrying on with him. I could make it all right for him - bit of physical action and all is well in his world again, but I just can't anymore. He doesn't want us to split up - he was hysterical and distraught when it so nearly happened earlier in the year. I wish now I had seen it through then. But ....he loves me because he needs me, not he needs me because he loves me if that makes any sense at all.
Anyway, he's at work all day today which is fine, but then he's off all next week. Not so fine.
sorry to dump all this into a brand new thread and bring it down before it has even started.
I'll be fine. Honestly I will. Am about to take dad shopping. Senile dementia and Asda are a combo guaranteed to focus my mind.Smile

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Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 16/10/2011 14:36

Ma - I know how he reacted when you tried to gently tell him that the marriage was over, I remember how utterly distraught he got. I don't know what to suggest that I haven't already to deal with the emotional side of it.

I guess that one day, it will come to a head and all be over in the blink of an eye. He will push you, I'm sure he will, to breaking point, and far beyond.

He doesn't understand that for you, this is the end of the line which is fairly typical of someone who is still in love with their partner.

Has he used the 'but what about the DCs' line yet? Emotional blackmail?

You know when you go out, in your dress, are you going to be with him? I bet if you're not, you'll feel so much more confident and look amazing because your inner smile will come shining through.

When was the last time that happened? When did you last really enjoy something together? Sad

Thing is Ma if he was punching you, raping you (fine line between what he does already) and treating you like dirt, we'd all be telling you, no, screaming at you to leave and you know for a fact that the Babes up near you would be there like a shot to help you get out.

So what's the difference? You're not happy, in fact you are desperately unhappy. You're not in love with him any more, and haven't been for some time.

How long do you have to live like this? For him? For the DC?

I think you need to sit down and really think about how long you are going to let this go on for. Even set a date. Work towards it and seriously make preparations to separate, to leave.

It's so unhealthy for you to stay trapped like this. What kind of life are you even having there? You're not happy, you're not enjoying your life. You are living his life, the way that he wants you to.

I'm sorry but you know how much I care about you. Please. Start to seriously think about when this is going to stop.

Much love xx

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demonicma · 16/10/2011 14:47

ohmouse every word you wrote is true. Every one a punch in the gut.But you are right.
thank you, you and the rest of the Babes are my lifeline.
Got to sort father out jsut now, be back later

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notevenamOoOooOoooosie · 16/10/2011 18:05

Evening all, I played my guitar to 100 people (when I hadn't played to 10) this morning - so it was huge for me!!!

BB thank you - you've made my day, and you've also made me really think all day, and not had a chance to reply til now. I learnt to entertain DD, week in, week out, before my drinking alcoholism took root, but ex had left, so low cost was all good!!
I look to those days, and the bits of myself I have recovered, to build our days. We've spent about £20 all weekend - which covered the trains yesterday (Formby is free if you walk in!!), we walked a good 5 miles with nuts, but then an ice cream for DD and a drink for me, and then today... church (as above) then here today and a DVD from the library and a treaty tea for us both... so I could maybe have spent half!!
I am lucky in a lot of ways with DD, and I hope I have given my all whenever I have been able to. Many will believe otherwise I guess.

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Onemorning · 16/10/2011 18:15

Hello all

I like what you've done with the place, it looks very cosy.

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venusandallsouls · 16/10/2011 18:21

Hey noteven you sound so clear headed and big hearted and cheerful. It's an amazing transformation to have witnessed Smile

ma now that things have settled down here a bit, do you fancy meeting up - you sound as though you could do with a friendly ear. pm me and let me know when you're around. We could even try and think of a low calorie evening, just remember that I don't really 'do' exercise; maybe I could watch you run Grin

Thinking of mouse and MsGee I know you both had really difficult things to get through this week, and I hope that you're doing OK xx

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ThursoVeryWitchy · 16/10/2011 18:50

Good evening everyone,

Thanks for asking after me Mouse ,

I was very busy yesterday, and got a bit down last night, it is all very hard at the weekend at the moment, this is the time when we all sat down to family meals, and had a chat, and there just doesn't seem much point, for the two of us.
Of course there is a point, and I am so lucky that the DC's are happy and healthy. Acceptance, and appreciation of the empty nest will hopefully come in time.

I went to a farm show today with DH, in retrospect not such a good idea, as when the Morris dancers came on, there were two little boys who started dancing, and jigging away to the music, and I had to choke back these big breathless sobs, I really don't know where it came from. Crikey I sound like a complete idiot wuss, I'm not usually (well, a bit of a soft case).
Lesson to self: avoid family fun days, for a couple of weeks!!

I hope you have all had good weekends.
Venus how is DD?, is she back home with you for long?

Much love to all
xxx

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Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 16/10/2011 18:51

Venus - fab to see you. Is DD getting better? xx

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ScareyFairenuff · 16/10/2011 18:58

All done, phew. Fish pie tonight and then watching 'I used to be Fat' for motivation.

It's getting chilly now, times like this I wish we had an open fire. We had one in our last house and I really miss it. I am seriously considering putting the heating on.

Brrrr

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ScareyFairenuff · 16/10/2011 19:04

Thurso I know what you mean my lovely. I found an old photo of ds smiling up at me on the beach, wearing his big arm bands and little swimming trunks with turtles on. I had a tear in my eye and such a longing for those days. Mind you, my ds is only 12 and still very much present. I honestly do not know how I'll cope when he leaves

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demonicma · 16/10/2011 19:29

thurso and faire - I know! DD2 is in Spain and ill with a virus. Wasn't five minutes ago she would be here on my knee in her pink stripey babygro, singing along to the Singing Kettle! I know she has blankie with her though, even now.

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notevenamOoOooOoooosie · 16/10/2011 22:23

thurso I don't know what the secular equivalent is, but I was thinking of you when DD sat with a lovely lady this morning at church (tbh she looks my age, but she can't be as her DC are the age that yours are, and given I am only 30....! So, anyway, thought of you.) which freed me up to play without thinking I'd have a 'helper'! There's got to be an equivalent though surely?? (and I mean a weekend one, not Brownies or something) - you would be SUCH an asset!!

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swallowedAfly · 17/10/2011 00:22

oh gosh ma! that sounds like an awful lot to sift through with really big implications Sad

noteven - there's just you and dd right? that's like me and ds. you get good at going doing stuff when it's just the two of you imo.

thurso - aw, that sounds hard. no advice - honestly feel a bit scared or aware (whatever you want to call it) of how big a life change is still to come when you talk about what you're going through! it's another big junction when you've been settled for a long time i'm thinking. 18 years is a pretty long time!

msgee - well done for day 2 - good stuff.

will be back on the bus tomorrow. hoping there's a monday morning 6.35am bus stop on route? everyone bear with me that i'm a new school gate widow so the morning routine is still quite a novelty x

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