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I want to live up a mountain on my own.

(9 Posts)
Hodie Fri 14-Oct-11 20:44:36

I am feeling a little worn out with everything. I am on my own with a one year old.

His father visits two evenings a week for a couple of hours and then has two hours every other weekend, in which to take him out.

I do not have any feelings for the man. Yet, still, after a year, I dislike having him in my home. I suspect he's in a relationship. That's his business. However, it irks me that he retains both his freedom and enjoys all the good stuff but has none of the hard work in raising a child both day and night. I am also a bit miffed that he may be about to introduce our son to his lover.

When will I stop feeling so bitter about it all? I know it's not doing me any good. Someone please suggest something as I want to go and live up a mountain on my own.

Thank you.

buzzskeleton Fri 14-Oct-11 20:53:51

Can he not start having the baby for longer? I'd have thought he could have him for more than a couple of hours at the weekend by now, perhaps even a whole day? I think a bit more time to yourself would be good for you.

HerScaryness Fri 14-Oct-11 21:06:08

You have had the slog bit so far, but fast forward 6m and your boy will be chatting away to you and making you laugh, another 6m and they just get funnier and funnier.

My boy is 5, almost 6. I love him more and more with each passing day. He cracks me up. I really started to enjoy him when got past being a 1yo.

The best is yet to come love and you get to enjoy him all to yourself!

Hang in there love, it's about to get better and better, I promise!

bejeezus Fri 14-Oct-11 21:11:36

Can I come

MeHeartsCake Fri 14-Oct-11 21:24:48

I know the feeling - ex has our son not that often. It is hard as he has moved into his parents house, so sometimes he will come to mine, take son to the park, and bring him back. So I dont have a break but he gets to do what he wants. I tell him he needs to have son overnight more to give me a break (and date like he does!).
like previous poster said, it does get easier.. my son is now 3 and its just precious at this age. Just think your ex is missing out and as much as you probably feel drained and have no freedom, you will get that back when the child grows up and then will miss the days when you had a child and not an adult. Chin up - your ex may want to do more when your child is older and can go football etc x

Hodie Fri 14-Oct-11 21:25:48

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am skipping off to mediation next week and will put forward the suggestion that he does need to see more of his son.

He is a lovely little boy. I have a lot to be grateful for. Knickers to the mountains!

lubeybooby Fri 14-Oct-11 21:28:09

Agree re: your ex spending more time with him. My DD's dad left when she was 16 months old and she spent 2 days a week with her dad from that point til she started school (now it's a few days in school hols only)

Conundrumish Fri 14-Oct-11 21:38:58

Babies are hard work at that age, but like the others have said, it will get much easier when he is bigger. 'You will reap what you have sown' or whatever that old funny saying is! You have put in the hard work and built the relationship and it is you that he will be bonding with and come to when he needs someone.

WibblyBibble Fri 14-Oct-11 21:41:42

Yeah, agree with the others who say the dad should be taking on longer time blocks now. It won't be long until you get some decent time to yourself- from say 18months, if you were comfortable with it, he could take the baby (well, toddler) overnight- my ex is now doing this and I have a friend with a daughter a similar age who is also now having overnights with the dad. Then you can go out and actually start meeting people again! Also do try internet dating, have met quite a few ok people through that though not sure it's great for 'real' relationships, but at least it keeps you amused by the sheer level of nutcase men there are in the world...!

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