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Silent coming... Question.

(36 Posts)
blondegirl1979 Tue 11-Oct-11 21:14:15

Ok, i have a question. Will start by saying i never dreamed i would be on here asking an actual question like this, but here goes: anyway at the weekend i slept with a new bloke that i have been seeing, it is fair to say that i have slept with enough men to make me fairly experienced in most things, without going into too much detail, basically this bloke did not give any indication that he was going to come, made no sounds during, and then did come and i only knew cos he told me a couple of minutes later when he sussed that i hadnt come.has anyone else had this, cos i certainly havent,even the quietest of men makes some kind of noise..or just something... It just seemed weird, i mentioned it, casually cos i didnt want to make it a huge issue, about the fact that i had no idea what jad been going on in his head/what he had or hadnt liked etc and he seemed to think that it was funny that i mentioned it.
So, any thoughts greatfully recieved really.... Oh this is a totally genuine post, i know there have been a few dubious ones in the last few days.

BelleEnd Tue 11-Oct-11 21:16:47

I thought this was going to be a question about Doctor Who blush grin
<<not helpful>>

blondegirl1979 Tue 11-Oct-11 21:20:18

Oh bugger, have i given this an innapropriate title that could mean something completely different..

VampiresWearVelvetsNow Tue 11-Oct-11 21:22:33

My first thought was 'he's faking it' but a faker would've made an elaborate noise grin Are you sure he came?

My second thought was 'Are you sleeping with my ex husband, because if you are, it doesn't get any better than that' grin

Makeyerowndamndinner Tue 11-Oct-11 21:26:45

I once had a boyfriend who was like that. Absolute silence. Not even heavier breathing or anything. But after a while with him, it got to the stage where I would just sort of know. How I'm not sure - there must have been very subtle signals that I picked up on I guess but I couldn't name them.

I never liked his silence though. Especially since I'm quite noisy - it was weird.

kunahero Tue 11-Oct-11 21:27:51

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

blondegirl1979 Tue 11-Oct-11 21:39:19

Vampires, yes he did deffinetly come.. Makeyerown, yeah it is weird, i'll just have to wait an see i guess.. Did you mention it to your ex at all ?
I just cant help thinking that if it didnt 'need' to make any noise then it cant of been that good for him, although that wasnt really the impressin i got from him.. He is quite young, msybe its inexperience ?

saintmerryweather Tue 11-Oct-11 21:41:11

my ex never used to make a noise....i found it weird, would have preferred something to say he was having a good time!

FabbyChic Tue 11-Oct-11 21:59:32

Ive never been with a man who makes a noise, it would scare me if someone did. I've always been told when they are coming though and it is always after me never before.

CheerfulSingsOut Tue 11-Oct-11 22:02:20

I've had a few quiet ones. In my experience it's nice to just moan or something, so your partner knows - even if silence is the norm when alone. I mean, it's just polite, innit? grin
The noisier the better, but then I'm quite noisy so I just felt stupid being in bed with someone who was silent as the grave the whole way through.

peterpan99 Tue 11-Oct-11 22:14:16

ive had some one like that it was most peculiar!
he just said thats what he was like. fair crack

madonnawhore Tue 11-Oct-11 22:19:59

Yeah I had someone like that once too. The silence of his orgasm was odd, but I guess I could have got used to it.

What I didn't want to get used to was the speed of it!

DawnOfTheDeementedDead Tue 11-Oct-11 22:20:23

Manshape used to be very quiet when we first got together. We spoke about it and he said it was because he'd spent so long with his DS sleeping in the same room that if he was going to do it it had to be done quietly.

He's much more relaxed now thank fuck

Exrental Tue 11-Oct-11 22:37:27

Many years ago (aged 20) I was an immature tw*t and used to sometimes deliberately go quiet when I was with my then gf as a way of "punishing" her.

The result I hoped for was my gf feeling inadequate if I didn't appear to be having a particularly good time.

Lovely behaviour eh? Thankfully it never really worked because most times she was concentrating on her own pleasure anyway.

Believe it or not, from such unpromising beginnings, I actually managed to eventually become a more mature and far less tw*ttish person.

Anyhoo, I don't think at all this is what your man is doing (could be anything: embarrassment; just isn't a vocal fella; a sort of Tantra thing) but your story just made me think of my bad ole days!

blondegirl1979 Wed 12-Oct-11 21:15:46

Wow exrental, that was a brave confession on here !!! Thanks though for the point of view, its certainly not something i had ever thought of....glad you dont do it any more.
Thanks everyone else who answered my question, at least i know its not abnormal !

ColdSancerre Wed 12-Oct-11 21:20:24

DP doesn't make a noise, it's never bothered me. In fact I've never really thought about it until I read this thread. I rather think we both enjoy it, we're just both naturally quiet.

Lacuna Wed 12-Oct-11 21:42:49

The guy I went out with before dp never made any noise and I really disliked it. It was unnerving, tbh. Plus, he used to make disparaging comments when I did anything louder than a bit of slightly-heavier-than-normal breathing hmm He was crap in bed though anyway, ishooos a-go-go...

My dp is very noisy; I bloody LOVE it grin

VFVF Thu 13-Oct-11 18:23:18

Well...I'm not a man so I don't know if my input counts but, I'm a silent cummer grin I enjoy it far more because I get to concentrate on the sensation if that makes sense?
DH's noise is to say oops! grin

Bledkr Thu 13-Oct-11 18:54:26

dh did this at first.I asked him why and he said he was just shy.It turns out he could shag me but was too embarrassed to make a noise.Weirdo grin
Hes noisy now tho after 5 years.Noisy bastard.

Taghain Thu 13-Oct-11 22:44:08

For some reason I was very quiet with one woman I slept with; I'm more enthusiastic generally and give much more indication that I'm coming unless there are good reasons to be quiet such as paper-thin walls or general lack of privacy.
I prefer to make the noise and show appreciation, and like it when my partner makes noises too.

loopylou6 Thu 13-Oct-11 22:52:19

Ew. this is not a dating/shag site ya know.

garlicScaresVampires Fri 14-Oct-11 01:02:12

I met quite a few of those, actually. It's a bit odd - though, hopefully, I'd be so busy having a (noisy) good time, I might not notice I was more of a solo than a duet wink But I cannot STAND announcements! I've never been so rude as to say so - each to his own - but I'd be in a right old quandary if I met Mr Right This Time and he turned out to be an "I'm coming" commentator blush

dangalf Fri 14-Oct-11 09:50:57

Did he go to boarding school? Or been in prison? Or shared room with borthers? If so he may well have got used to relieving hmself as quietly as possible.

TechnoViking Fri 14-Oct-11 10:09:47

I find a polite round of applause is sufficient.

BertieBotts Fri 14-Oct-11 10:15:16

hmm Kuna, rape jokes aren't funny.

I've never been with a man who made a noise! I'm surprised so many do. In fact for my first few boyfriends I thought that men always just thrusted extra hard at that point. Took me by surprise when I first slept with someone who did a "big" thrust in the middle and then carried on confused and even more so when he came on one of the smaller ones confused confused - I had always thought the "big" one was involuntary.

But no. Never come across a man who makes a noise. DP does heavy breathing/grunts a bit sometimes if it's really good, but mostly I can just tell because he starts sweating. He is always embarrassed to do the grunting thing. He says it sounds stupid. I can sympathise - I think female noises sound stupid, I don't think I could ever make a sex tape, I'd be unable to watch it without dying of embarrassment.

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