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new man

(24 Posts)
littlemum007 Tue 11-Oct-11 08:17:37

I've been seeing a man for a couple of months now and I have really grown fond of him. He thought I was alot younger than I am and I have allowed him to continue thinking it!! He guessed my age as being roughly 14 years younger than I actually am and I have just let the situation carry on and on!! Do you think I should come clean or do you think there is nothing wrong with this?
As time goes on we are becoming more and more close. I would hate to jeopardise my relationship with him!

AnyPhantomFucker Tue 11-Oct-11 08:41:54

How silly you have been

I suggest you come clean now, if you want this to become a long term thing

If you think it won't last, don't bother because you are going to look like a right 'nana

littlemum007 Tue 11-Oct-11 09:08:17

I have a feeling (just a feeling) that he hasn't been up front about his age either. I think he may be older.

I am investing in this relationship because I am convinced he is the right one for me. I've told him that I didn't care how old he was and I am hoping he thinks the same.

lubeybooby Tue 11-Oct-11 09:12:44

Oh dear. Best fess up now... HOW do you manage to get into a relationship with someone when you don't know rather important details like age? confused

AnyPhantomFucker Tue 11-Oct-11 09:29:47

Then just tell him

You met him internet dating or similar, right ?

I think it common that people tell lies in these situations. Fuck knows why..

littlemum007 Tue 11-Oct-11 12:00:35

No, we didn't meet via internet.

Perimenopausal Tue 11-Oct-11 12:19:28

then how have you managed to knock 14 whole years off your age ?

littlemum007 Tue 11-Oct-11 12:27:31

I didn't "knock" 14 years off my age. We've been having a relationship for 4 months now. He just guessed my age and I let him think what he wanted so he has..... it must be all that gingseng I've been taking!

babyhammock Tue 11-Oct-11 12:37:02

Big compliment that you look so young smile
How old are you and how old does he think you are.
How old has he said he is and how old do you actually think he is?

We need more info to advise the best way forward wink

lubeybooby Tue 11-Oct-11 12:40:15

But how have you managed not to talk about things that place you at the age you are? You know, growing up, school and education, past events, family, friends, memories etc... how can you be with someone four months and not have those kind of conversations?

It's really, really seriously WEIRD.

Just confess and sort this out, and get it out of him what age he is too. Then you might have a chance of something more like a normal relationship. If you let it go on any longer without the truth it will get much worse and much more of a risk of it ending because of it.

Nippysnippy Tue 11-Oct-11 12:42:52

Very Za Za Gabor!

tigermoll Tue 11-Oct-11 12:43:45

Just a thought, - although I'm sure you look v youthful, when he 'guessed your age' he may have been slightly flattering about it. After all, if he was any kind of gentleman, he wouldn't have wanted to guess you as OLDER than you really were.

He may not be totally surprised at your real age ;)

blondegirl1979 Tue 11-Oct-11 15:31:22

You should come clean, he may not be bothered, or he may and if he is then at least you know now. This is not exactly the same but I recently met someone off the internet, he was younger than my age criteria (28 - 38) and said he was 25, but I liked his photo so we met up and got on ok, have reservations about him being so much younger than me (32), but its only a bit of fun so it doesnt matter too much, then at the weekend it transpired that he is 24, not 25 - will be 25 in December, said he rounded up cos he is nearly 25 - anyway my point was that i wasnt too happy that he lied about it, and although the op didnt strictly lie she didnt completely tell the truth......

Booooooyhoo Tue 11-Oct-11 15:35:03

come clean.

and when you say, you let him think wht he wanted. you mean you lied. unless he actually said "i think you are 26" and moved on without looking for any confirmtion from you?

Perimenopausal Tue 11-Oct-11 16:52:22

erm, a lie by omission is still a lie hmm

solidgoldbrass Tue 11-Oct-11 17:23:04

Look, don't have a big 'Boohoo, I lied to you' drama about it. Just drop something into the conversation that gives away your age such as referring to being <whatever> age when the Twin Towers came down and if he queries it say 'Oh darling, I thought you were just being flattering when you guessed my age at <whatever he guessed>, I thought you knew I was 108!
Because unless you think he wants children with you and you know you are too old to have any, it really isn't a big deal.

AnyPhantomFucker Tue 11-Oct-11 17:24:26

nope, it isn't a big deal, which is why you were very silly to lie about it in the first place...

littlemum007 Tue 11-Oct-11 23:34:34

solidgold - you have offered the best advice, really the best... that is what I will do... I will say just that.... oh, and by the way, we do want children but we're both broke right now - I will break it to him at the weekend - I have just today started taking the pill in order to bide some time until we are both settled... but thank you solidgold - APF, I sigh at you!

AnyPhantomFucker Tue 11-Oct-11 23:39:21

sigh away, I'm not the one who got into this pickle wink

AnyPhantomFucker Tue 11-Oct-11 23:41:09

erm, you are talking about having children with a man you have been seeing for 2 months and he doesn't yet know how old you really are ?

hoooo kaaaay

seriouschanger Tue 11-Oct-11 23:46:15

I thought that too AF lol! SGB lol love the way you say it as it isgrin

izzywhizzysfritenite Tue 11-Oct-11 23:58:31

O come now, APF, it's been 4 months - plenty of time for the OP to have made all the necessary checks and determine whether her toy boy young man is old enough to be a sperm donor grin

Only joking, OP - just don't let him anywhere near your passport and keep your pregnancy records under lock and key wink

AnyPhantomFucker Wed 12-Oct-11 00:04:47

my the OP it said a couple of months (I take that to mean two)

obviously I stand corrected... 4 months is a long term relationship, based on honesty and complete trust < ahem >

AnyPhantomFucker Wed 12-Oct-11 00:05:11

lovin' the name, izzy, btw

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