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Help me support DH in giving up smoking weed

(9 Posts)
PuffDaddy Fri 07-Oct-11 10:22:10

I've name changed cos I don't like to talk about this in public. I have known DH for 10 years, we've been married for 2 with a 13 month old.

Ever since I've known him he's smoked weed. All the time - from first thing in the morning to last thing at night, like how some people smoke cigarettes. He is a high functioning smoker in that it has never affected his ability to work and be a good husband and father. Yet he knows that what he does is illegal, juvenile and dangerous.

He is 40 next birthday and has decided that he wants to quit. I really, really want him to succeed and I want to know what I can do to support him. I understand the drug takes 30 days to come out of a person's system and that there can be withdrawal symptoms. How can I hold his hand and encourage him in doing something that is very difficult for him but without nagging or putting him under more pressure. He has a stressful job and our financial situtation, like many families in the current economic climate, is tight.

I am grateful for any advice / experience as he's never reached this point before of actually wanting to give up - he hasn't smoked for 3 days now and is finding it tough. I have never smoked and am not sure what my objection to it is exactly but I do find it pathetic that him and his mates, middle-aged blokes all huddle round skinning up and passing joints, getting very antsy when there's a drought etc. Plus we now have a child and I do not want her growing up knowing about Daddy's waccy baccy habits.

kennypowers Fri 07-Oct-11 11:37:14

I used to smoke a lot of weed, cut down a lot when I met my partner and stopped when we had our son. I do still smoke, very occasionally, when the chance presents itself and when dp/ds aren't around.
The key here I think, is that he's decided he wants to stop.
My main piece of advice, and probably the one that will be most difficult to follow, is that he needs to limit contact with the peple he was smoking with (at least for the time being) and not put himself in situations where he's likely to be exposed to temptation.
Personally, I think it's no worse than drinking and in some respects a more positive way to relax, but I stopped because my life had changed in ways that meant it was no longer appropriate.
It will feel like a big change, until it's all out of his system and eventually he'll realise that actually, life is no less enjoyable withouth it and often more so.
Good luck to both of you.

1footinfront Fri 07-Oct-11 15:01:19

Can you all go on holiday for a couple of weeks abroad, where he has no chance of taking it with him or getting hold of any?

It would be a good break from the routine, chilled out enough for him to realise he can live without it?

x good luck x

LCRLCR Sat 08-Oct-11 21:47:51

Good luck to you both - watch out for withdrawal symptoms such as irritability, loss of appetite, insomnia and even depression. Keep talking to him

PuffDaddy Mon 10-Oct-11 16:27:05

Bump - anyone else?

Proudnreallyveryscary Mon 10-Oct-11 16:46:25

Hi I sympathise.

My dh used to puff but not to the same extent as yours. I'd say a joint a night (but for many years 2 or 3 a night) - which still really bothered me.

He just eventually grew up. As have most of his friends. Dh doesn't smoke at all now.

He was about 35 when he gave up. God I was so bloody happy - it's not the same as drinking in my opinion. It is far more insular and it is not something I wanted my dc to be around. No way.

Anyway, he had headaches and flu-like symptoms for two days then it was just a case of seeing it through. Willpower, pure and simple. It's a cliche, but your dh has to really want to do it and do it for himself.

Because of the amount your dh smokes, maybe he needs to see GP and come off it safely but I don't really know.

Sorry if this isn't helpful.

crazynannawitchbitch Mon 10-Oct-11 16:54:01

My neighbour stopped recently,and she said the worst thing/time for her was boredom. If she was bored,she started thinking about it...lots!
She decorated 3 rooms in two weeks <impressed>,and that seemed to get her over the initial stages. She is more alert and chatty,and has stopped knocking my flat door at 10pm for "any spare cream donuts or midget gems" grin

Good for him,Puffdaddy...and good for you in your support smile

loserface Mon 10-Oct-11 18:18:51

Am lurking for any more good advice! DP smokes weed and is a highfunctioner aswell, he has decided to give up at new year and I'm proper dreading it with the mood swings he'll be having!

One thing you may have to do is make sure he's eating enough. He'll be used to having the munchies and with that feeling gone he may just not feel hungry at all for a good while.

Good luck!

confidence Mon 10-Oct-11 22:23:02

If he has a stressful job and money worries etc, he may find that he's very dependent on the weed for getting to sleep at night. You could help by being prepared for this, and putting into place some kind of regular and relatively formal bedtime routine, including hot bath, quiet reading and conversation time etc. - it sounds funny but like you would do with a child who has trouble sleeping. I always find one of the best prophylactics against stress is routine.

Maybe even encourage him to take up yoga or meditation, or anything designed to help with calming nerves and managing stress.

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