Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Doing the right thing

(3 Posts)
NeedABrew Thu 06-Oct-11 14:56:42

Just need to vent really. I'm really embarrassed, confused and lost.

I have a wonderful husband. He's a kind, loving, generous and supportive man, my best friend. I have come to the realisation that our short (18 months) marriage is over. I know I'm going to regret this, but there's just something missing. It's nothing he has done. I don't know how to begin to end it. He's going to be crushed. I wish I could just not go home, but I have to confront it.

I'm scared of being without him, he's been a huge part of my life. But I realise when he's away, I don't miss him. It pains me to say these things about him; he's a good, good man. I need to let him go and be with someone else who appreciates him.

Has anyone else done this? How did things pan out? (We have no DC).

PhilipJFry Thu 06-Oct-11 15:13:43

I did in the past but I wasn't been married at the time. The trick is to get out and stay out. I say stay out because you will probably miss them like crazy and repeatedly question yourself over whether you did the right thing and so on. I went back to my relationship once for another year and none of the "missing" stuff showed up. It was awful having to do it again and rotten knowing that no matter how much I wanted to be satisfied and happy it wasn't going to happen. It's very hard ending a relationship where nothing is obviously wrong, but it's better to finish it now then years in the future where you may have children and have lost so much time. You need to talk about this and be very clear that you don't want to separate. Don't give your husband false hope that it can be worked out, but state how you feel and what you want.

mumsamilitant Thu 06-Oct-11 16:00:02

No need to be embarrassed at all. Sometimes it just happens. I've been in your situation more than once over my lifetime so far. It was always with the great guys, but looking back there just wasn't that oomph to carry the relationship to the next stage. I remember a couple of times literally going to bed fine then waking up and whatever it was had just gone! I usually spent the next few months pretending it wasn't happening because I genunely liked them so much.

So deep breath and start the process. Luckily you don't have and DC's.

But as Philip said try to make it a clean break, don't go back due to your own feelings of loneliness, its not fair.

Good Luck OP

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: