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Difficulty reaching orgasm since childbirth

(14 Posts)
BakerBinky Tue 04-Oct-11 21:18:47

I've never been able to orgasm with a partner but I always could on my own with a vibrator, often within 10 seconds!!!

Since having DS3 I take ages to climax and when I do it is really weak, what's going on?! sad

WibblyBibble Tue 04-Oct-11 21:25:52

I don't know, but I have similar (it's not pelvic floor weakness either, mor elikely genital nerve damage I think). So much for all the MRAs who say 'pregnancy is just for 9 months and childbirth has no long term effects', eh?

BakerBinky Tue 04-Oct-11 21:37:17

Genital nerve damage?! Is that a condition?

AnyFucker Tue 04-Oct-11 21:39:29

I think something happens to your anatomy during pg and childbirth

I have found the opposite to be the case (thankfully)

Have you spoken to your doctor about it ?

Did you have a traumatic birth(s)

BakerBinky Tue 04-Oct-11 21:51:01

Yes it was pretty traumatic, it was my 3rd though and I was fine after my first two DC's... I think I will go and talk to my doctor sad

GreenMonkies Tue 04-Oct-11 21:54:07

How long ago did you have DS3? The Dr that delivered DD1 did something very brutal to my ahem anatomy and I was in pain and then numb for months and months and months. Add that to the extreme tiredness of a newborn and I don't think I even contemplated having an orgasm for the best part of a year.

BakerBinky Tue 04-Oct-11 21:55:43

9 months ago, I did wonder if it was a psychological thing rather than physical but not I'm not so sure..

AnyFucker Tue 04-Oct-11 22:07:28

are you simply really really tired ?

3 dc's will take it out of ya

does your P do his share of the shitwork ?

TheArmadillo Tue 04-Oct-11 22:09:00

It can take up to a year for orgasms to return (the more traumatic a birth, the longer it tends to take). Where the body has been put through a traumatic experience it can take a long time for it to fully recover and return to normal.

If you are concerned do see your gp.

I had similar as a result of childbirth + medication that stopped ability to orgasm. Dh was very understanding so no problems there but I wasn't prepared for the affect it had on my self-esteem, self-confidence and my mental health. I already had mental health issues (that's what I was being medicated for) and was being to get depressed as a sort of side effect and the lack of orgasm definately made that worse. It really had a dramatic affect on me despite knowing the cause and that it should be temporary. It was one of the reasons I came off my medication (though I never admitted it to the doctors as was too embarrassed to discuss it with them). I never thought I was that bothered by sex beforehand.

It did return eventually - though at first it was very weak, and I did almost give up hope. Now back at full strength and making up for lost time. It took about 18 months from losing it completely to coming back full strength.

Weak orgasms are a good sign in that you are experiencing something - keep going. I'd wait 6 weeks and see if there has been any improvement (even if small).

BakerBinky Tue 04-Oct-11 22:10:03

Yeah he does, he's great, very handson! am pretty tired but no more tired than after my other two dc's

AnyFucker Tue 04-Oct-11 22:14:43

just a minute...

3 kids are harder than 2

you are x number of years older

3 lots of pelvic floor-wrecking pg and birth

don't underestimate how tired you can be, which is one of the most effective orgasm-killers like ever

like TA said, the fact there are weak signs is encouraging and I am sure it will come back (with practice wink )

see your doc though too

BakerBinky Tue 04-Oct-11 22:15:48

Thanks guys, will make an appointment tomorrow smile

WibblyBibble Tue 04-Oct-11 22:22:23

"Genital nerve damage?! Is that a condition?"
Yes: though tbh finding any medical professional who gives a shit about it is in my experience difficult. You're supposed to be happy with babies and leave orgasms to the men, or something.

AnyFucker Tue 04-Oct-11 22:23:11

Ew, that is horrible that you have been made to feel like that, Wibbly

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