I seperated from H a couple of years ago. He works abroad, coming back to England for a few weeks every 3 months.
A few months ago I was really, really struggling financially. Was in rent arrears, and had put my car up for sale to try to get straight. (Insurance is sky high) Then DS did something silly and I had to take him to hospital in the middle of the night, so decided if at all possible I needed to keep my car. I have no family near by, and really rely on it. H was "sympathetic, but not really my problem"
Fine, fair enough. Even though he earns plenty and only pays the minimal amount of maintenance <bitter> Sold other bits and bobs, cut my food bill right down and took out a small provident loan [grr] and . Got it all sorted, car still costs me more than I can comfortably afford, but I want to keep it, so am dealing with that.
Today I get a phone call from H, he's ordering some fishing stuff for when he gets back, "only £1000 worth", because he needs it. And if he fills my car up with petrol could I drive him to the Lake District and pick him up again?
FOR REAL????? I live in the Midlands. He wants me to drag my children all the way there to drop him off, drive back with them, and then do it all over again, using my car that he wouldn't even give me a tenner towards.
Because I've said fuck off no, I'm apparently a mardy bitch and should get the divorce paperwork sorted for when he gets home.
This man is so self absorbed. I'm raging and so fed up with always being in the wrong.
Sorry to vent on here, but it's been eating me up and I feel like I might burst out of my clothes like the Hulk if I don't get it all out. So at least my clothes are safe for now....
Well you now know that you need to sort the financials to suit you and your dcs then don't you. Not just the child maintenance but spousal too. Be tough he sounds as if whatever yu do/ask for he will think it outrageous so you may as well go for everything you ar entitled to.
Wow, that's really pushing it. I'd be livid too....letting you struggle financially and then splashing out on luxury items that he thinks are essentials!! He could at least have offered to reimburse you for your time, because if he traveled any other way it would cost him a pretty penny. Where does he stay when he's in UK?
Definitely agree to take him, accept the tank of petrol and then dont go back. You could, as a compromise with ILT idea, helpfully unload the fishing gear and accidentally on purpose drive over it as you leave
Nah, don't bother with the haddock - rotting shrimps give off a far more nauseating odour in a shorter time
Whatever you're thinking of asking for maintenance wise, treble it. This gives him of the option of offering to pay half for you've asked for and, if you accept, you'll get 50% more than you would have settled for.
I really, really do not understand these males who are happy to see their ex-partners struggle to bring up their kids, pay the fucking minimum & spend money on themselves - it makes steam come out of my ears!!
I'm glad you said fuck off no.
Re the CSA is he considered to be working in the UK or overseas? If overseas I don't think they can do anything.
PS you can do a REMO if abroad...it is a court order from UK to a country that has it. Yep this shock my ex too when he went to all that effort to move abroad to escape maint...but 5 yrs down line still hasnt seen a penny so cant say it is any good yet!
If he works abroad but gets paid in the UK then they can take it straight from his earnings.
Do go to the CSA, and when he asks why, give it to him both barrels.
Oh, just had a thought about your come back to his saying you are being mardy etc. Say that his refusal to help you out when you needed it for the kids made you realise that you had both blurred the boundaries and you should keep things on a non-personal basis from now on. So you totally agree with him ( ) that favours etc are not the ex partners problem and that you appreciate him bringing that to your attention, and you hope he has a nice weekend. "National Express do regular coaches to the LD btw "